Diagnosed with genital herpes and I need people to talk to

Posted , 5 users are following.

Yeah so I was diagnosed last week still going through my first outbreak it's not been as bad as people say I could always walk didn't really hurt unless wee got into the sores!

All I'm feeling is miserable, I feel like I'm going to feel depressed forever! Do you ever get over the depression?

The only reason I haven't killed myself is because of my mom and dad I want children soon and I just am scared I'll be depressed as a mother!

Any good stories to lift a girls mood?

It's so annoying because it's one of those things where you just think will never happen to you!

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  • Posted

    Also I am from the uk and I'm 21 years old

  • Posted

    The diagnosis is is just so devastating, I still remember the day that I was told. If I could give you some advice and encouragement. Take control of your herpes. Do some reading, find out what might trigger an outbreak and very importantly take responsibility. I found that a healthy lifestyle, regular exercise and feeling good about oneself was so mportant. You will no doubt have relationships if you are not in one already. What partners appreciate is up front honesty and being really responsible when you have an outbreak. At least we are in an age when good medication is available when needed. You will be ok and no doubt will get married one day and have kids.

    jose

    • Posted

      I was diagnosed 28yrs ago, a fit healthy nurse. It came as a huge blow but over the years I accepted it and moved on with my life. At times yes, it would get me down but then I would say to myself, it could have been a lot worse such as HIV. I am grateful everyday for my life and have 2 wonderful children. One thing that will surprise you is how many people there are out there with type 2 herpes. Sadly, there are so many people out there that can't talk about it or share their concerns. This patient forum is just fantastic and is something I didn't have when I was younger.

      jose 

    • Posted

      You are such great inspiration to me!

      Does your partner also have herpes?

      How was child birth?

      Are you happy again now?

    • Posted

      Yes, all such normal questions. My then husband was a carrier but was asymptomatic as many carriers are. I was undiagnosed when my children were born. I had been married 6 years when I was diagnosed but had probably had minor outbreaks before that but didn't know what it was. If I was positive at time of delivering my children, I didn't know.

      Jose

  • Posted

    Don't worry, everything will be fine. Read all info on the condition, about its transmission, treatment, herpes during pregnancy and so on. You're just a normal person like everyone else. A lot of people have herpes and live their happy lives. 

  • Posted

    I'm 21 and from the UK and just got diagnosed today and I don't know how to feel about it at all. 

    Obviously annoyed and disappointed in myself that i let it happen and if you read certain things it can make you feel like you're dirty and a slut and that you deserved it but on the other hand other things say like 1 in 6 people have it but just because its on your bum no one talks about it and most don't have any symptoms and its just making me have mixed feelings about it because I feel like I can accept it as just a kind of skin condition that happens to be in an unfortunate place but it's whether when i start dating again if people will accept it or whether they'll think i'm dirty and going to disease them, but at the end of the day like you're still the same person as you were before and i don't think it makes you a bad or a dirty person

    And i guess its like when you eat a load of junk food you get spots on your face so its important to eat healthily and keep positive about it 

    • Posted

      You're right your handling it a lot better than I did after the first few days!

      I've got a boyfriend ATM (he gave it to me) but he didn't know, but if anything happens in the future if I meet someone and I really think he's worth being with forever (because the last 4 people weren't even worth it, the guy I'm with now is) then I'll tell him but if I find myself struggling to find someone I'll just a dating site for herpes maybe? I've seen some good looking people with this disease on YouTube haha!

      If not me and you can meet up and turn lesbian aye!! Haha I'm doing okay now I think

      I have the love of my mom and dad and it's not worth killing myself over

      I thought to myself "if you killed yourself your parents would feel like the way you feel now and imagine how that makes you feel" I would never put my parents down like that!! I'm doing okay I'm smiling now

      I haven't cried today!!

    • Posted

      Yeah I guess the right person will like you no matter what and i guess thats a good thing in one way because it means you hopefully won't end up with someone who doesn't completely love you but i'm also afraid i'll feel like i have to settle because no one would want a diseased girl but then on the other hand if you find someone you really like and they accept that it's a part of you then they must really like you and accept you for you and that you're a human and not perfect 

      ahaha yeah no definetely its not worth killing yourself over like when you think of how much more there is to life than sex like it should affect a very small portion of your life when you consider it 

      yeah my mum is kind of annoyed at me cause she thought i was more sensible than that and the nurse today wasn't exactly very sympathetic about it either which i can understand cause it is all my fault which is kind of hard when i'm already beating myself up and then no one is telling me it'll be okay and i dunno whether to tell my dad, part of me is like well it doesn't really concern him so i don't see why i should but then the other half is like he's my dad so and like ive only told two of my closest friends and i don't plan to tell anymore just cause it doesn't concern them so i don't see why i would 

    • Posted

      Can I stop you right there though! You were so right about there is so much more to life than sex and that's actually opened my eyes a lot because there is

      But never got one second say it's your fault, every single person alive has sex or sometimes wants it

      Your mother had sex as soon as she had sex she took the risk!!

      My parents don't know I really can't tell them I don't know why I want to just keep this between me no one knows I don't have any best friends just 'friends' so I couldn't tell them!

      Just tell yourself you could have it so much worst, you could have a terminal cancer with months to live, this has not stopped us we can still do literally everything!

      If someone really loves you they will stick around no matter what!!

      Just keep singing songs out loud and smiling! Me and you can always keep in contact if you'd like to see how we're coping and if we can help each other?

    • Posted

      yeah like i hadn't had sex for 13 months before this absolute mess and like i missed it a bit but it made me realise how much you can live without it and like while its nice you can definetely enjoy yourself and have a meaningful life without it 

      It was hard telling my mum and especially hard because until yesterday i wasn't even living in this country but i knew something was wrong and didn't eat or sleep for two days because i was just so worried and knew something was wrong and couldn't find a doctor with appointments free so i needed to come home and it was definetely the wisest decision i've ever made but i do think you should tell someone like its important i think and takes a weight off your shoulders for sure

      yeah definetely that would be cool :D

    • Posted

      yeah like there are so many possibilities and things you can do in life that are fun and fulfilling  

      that's true and a few things i've read have said to not feel like you don't deserve to have love and stuff because of this

      yeah definetely that sounds like a good idea :D 

    • Posted

      We are all worth love

      I'm trying to think of it this way we are both so super awesome and because we are so awesome we needed to be knocked down a notch haha!

      Just remember people looking at you will not know they will only find out if you tell them! (Unless you want to sleep with them then yes tell them)

      But what I'm saying is, to everyone else you are fine and they will hang round you because that proves literally nothing is wrong with you!!

      How are you feeling today?

    • Posted

      Yeah like i read somewhere that this is literally more common that asthma and diabetes and i feel like i know so many people with both of those but it just sucks that cause its in a private place people dont talk about it so you feel like the only one sad im hoping once these first symptoms go away ill feel more normal and not like im keeping this secret from everyone

      Im feeling a good bit better today i managed to get a good nights sleep which i hadnt in a few days cause i had been worrying about it so much and i think the aciclovir has started to work a bit cause for a while i didnt notice much difference. How do you feel today?

    • Posted

      Yeah I've heard the same

      If only people spoke about it more it would literally be one of those things!

      I'm glad you're feeling better I'm glad you're sleeping again and eurgh sad tell me about it

      I am so stressed right now because my symptoms are nearly gone but still kind of there and I'm feeling so upset today because I haven't been able to sleep with my boyfriend and I feel like it's bothering him (which it shouldn't) and I'm so scared he's going to leave me (before this I wouldn't of gave a crap)

      But now I'm so scared because I feel like he's given me this and now he's leaving, I'm scared if he leaves I'll never have anyone love me which is stupid and I shouldn't be with him just for that reason alone but he's really ruined my life in a way I'm having a down day I was fine this morning but this night I've started feeling so empty!

      I've accepted having herpes but just can't accept my future being alone sad

    • Posted

      I think its important to like chill out and keep the stress down and not worry so much cause i think that just makes everything seem worse than it needs to be sad

      I think your boyfriend probably doesnt know how to feel bc its a lot to take in but i think if someone loves you they wouldnt mind like put yourself in their shoes and think about whether you would mind if someone you really liked caught something like you would care for them and want them to be healthy and manage their situation you wouldnt think oh gross

      But like im single and it does make me scared that i might not find someone who accepts it but then lots of people have written about the fact that a lot of guys dont mind if they really like you they just care for you and are glad of your honesty and that it can create stronger more open relationships and things and weeds out the waste of time guys bc the ones who accept it accept you for you

    • Posted

      Yeah you are definitely right Erin

      I'm sure our paths have been chosen for us but I'm just feeling a bit down tonight!

      I think it's because I absolutely have no friends to talk to about this I have no one to be here in person like eurgh high 5 girl

    • Posted

      Yeah im a firm believer in everything working out in the end like and ive always been prone to skin conditions like ive had eczema my whole life and i had these cysts on my chin for years and had loads of problems with warts and verrucas that wouldnt go away and more recently thrush that just wouldnt leave no matter what i did so part of me is like if anyone was gonna get an incurable skin condition it would be me haha

      Yeah it would be nice to know some people in real life that have it just to not feel like the only one in the world but i read that even as much as 25% of girls have it cause its easier for girls to get so i like to just look at like a group of four people and be like chances are one of them has it too smile

    • Posted

      Why do I feel like we are the same person

      I had spots so bad as a teen I have eczema and I always got warts and veruccas as a kid!!

      Bloody hell we had a rough life with these skin complaints 😂 Haha yeah I look at people and count and whenever I count a 4th girl I tell myself she has it!!!

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