Diagnosed with genital herpes and I need people to talk to

I was diagnosed 28yrs ago, a fit healthy nurse. It came as a huge blow but over the years I accepted it and moved on with my life. At times yes, it would get me down but then I would say to myself, it could have been a lot worse such as HIV. I am grateful everyday for my life and have 2 wonderful children. One thing that will surprise you is how many people there are out there with type 2 herpes. Sadly, there are so many people out there that can't talk about it or share their concerns. This patient forum is just fantastic and is something I didn't have when I was younger.

jose 

Does your partner also have herpes?

How was child birth?

Are you happy again now?

Yes, all such normal questions. My then husband was a carrier but was asymptomatic as many carriers are. I was undiagnosed when my children were born. I had been married 6 years when I was diagnosed but had probably had minor outbreaks before that but didn't know what it was. If I was positive at time of delivering my children, I didn't know.

Jose

You're right your handling it a lot better than I did after the first few days!

I've got a boyfriend ATM (he gave it to me) but he didn't know, but if anything happens in the future if I meet someone and I really think he's worth being with forever (because the last 4 people weren't even worth it, the guy I'm with now is) then I'll tell him but if I find myself struggling to find someone I'll just a dating site for herpes maybe? I've seen some good looking people with this disease on YouTube haha!

If not me and you can meet up and turn lesbian aye!! Haha I'm doing okay now I think

I have the love of my mom and dad and it's not worth killing myself over

I thought to myself "if you killed yourself your parents would feel like the way you feel now and imagine how that makes you feel" I would never put my parents down like that!! I'm doing okay I'm smiling now

I haven't cried today!!

Yeah I guess the right person will like you no matter what and i guess thats a good thing in one way because it means you hopefully won't end up with someone who doesn't completely love you but i'm also afraid i'll feel like i have to settle because no one would want a diseased girl but then on the other hand if you find someone you really like and they accept that it's a part of you then they must really like you and accept you for you and that you're a human and not perfect 

ahaha yeah no definetely its not worth killing yourself over like when you think of how much more there is to life than sex like it should affect a very small portion of your life when you consider it 

yeah my mum is kind of annoyed at me cause she thought i was more sensible than that and the nurse today wasn't exactly very sympathetic about it either which i can understand cause it is all my fault which is kind of hard when i'm already beating myself up and then no one is telling me it'll be okay and i dunno whether to tell my dad, part of me is like well it doesn't really concern him so i don't see why i should but then the other half is like he's my dad so and like ive only told two of my closest friends and i don't plan to tell anymore just cause it doesn't concern them so i don't see why i would 

Can I stop you right there though! You were so right about there is so much more to life than sex and that's actually opened my eyes a lot because there is

But never got one second say it's your fault, every single person alive has sex or sometimes wants it

Your mother had sex as soon as she had sex she took the risk!!

My parents don't know I really can't tell them I don't know why I want to just keep this between me no one knows I don't have any best friends just 'friends' so I couldn't tell them!

Just tell yourself you could have it so much worst, you could have a terminal cancer with months to live, this has not stopped us we can still do literally everything!

If someone really loves you they will stick around no matter what!!

Just keep singing songs out loud and smiling! Me and you can always keep in contact if you'd like to see how we're coping and if we can help each other?

yeah like i hadn't had sex for 13 months before this absolute mess and like i missed it a bit but it made me realise how much you can live without it and like while its nice you can definetely enjoy yourself and have a meaningful life without it 

It was hard telling my mum and especially hard because until yesterday i wasn't even living in this country but i knew something was wrong and didn't eat or sleep for two days because i was just so worried and knew something was wrong and couldn't find a doctor with appointments free so i needed to come home and it was definetely the wisest decision i've ever made but i do think you should tell someone like its important i think and takes a weight off your shoulders for sure

yeah definetely that would be cool :D

yeah like there are so many possibilities and things you can do in life that are fun and fulfilling  

that's true and a few things i've read have said to not feel like you don't deserve to have love and stuff because of this

yeah definetely that sounds like a good idea :D 

We are all worth love

I'm trying to think of it this way we are both so super awesome and because we are so awesome we needed to be knocked down a notch haha!

Just remember people looking at you will not know they will only find out if you tell them! (Unless you want to sleep with them then yes tell them)

But what I'm saying is, to everyone else you are fine and they will hang round you because that proves literally nothing is wrong with you!!

How are you feeling today?

Yeah like i read somewhere that this is literally more common that asthma and diabetes and i feel like i know so many people with both of those but it just sucks that cause its in a private place people dont talk about it so you feel like the only one im hoping once these first symptoms go away ill feel more normal and not like im keeping this secret from everyone

Im feeling a good bit better today i managed to get a good nights sleep which i hadnt in a few days cause i had been worrying about it so much and i think the aciclovir has started to work a bit cause for a while i didnt notice much difference. How do you feel today?

Yeah I've heard the same

If only people spoke about it more it would literally be one of those things!

I'm glad you're feeling better I'm glad you're sleeping again and eurgh tell me about it

I am so stressed right now because my symptoms are nearly gone but still kind of there and I'm feeling so upset today because I haven't been able to sleep with my boyfriend and I feel like it's bothering him (which it shouldn't) and I'm so scared he's going to leave me (before this I wouldn't of gave a crap)

But now I'm so scared because I feel like he's given me this and now he's leaving, I'm scared if he leaves I'll never have anyone love me which is stupid and I shouldn't be with him just for that reason alone but he's really ruined my life in a way I'm having a down day I was fine this morning but this night I've started feeling so empty!

I've accepted having herpes but just can't accept my future being alone

I think its important to like chill out and keep the stress down and not worry so much cause i think that just makes everything seem worse than it needs to be

I think your boyfriend probably doesnt know how to feel bc its a lot to take in but i think if someone loves you they wouldnt mind like put yourself in their shoes and think about whether you would mind if someone you really liked caught something like you would care for them and want them to be healthy and manage their situation you wouldnt think oh gross

But like im single and it does make me scared that i might not find someone who accepts it but then lots of people have written about the fact that a lot of guys dont mind if they really like you they just care for you and are glad of your honesty and that it can create stronger more open relationships and things and weeds out the waste of time guys bc the ones who accept it accept you for you

Yeah you are definitely right Erin

I'm sure our paths have been chosen for us but I'm just feeling a bit down tonight!

I think it's because I absolutely have no friends to talk to about this I have no one to be here in person like eurgh high 5 girl

Yeah im a firm believer in everything working out in the end like and ive always been prone to skin conditions like ive had eczema my whole life and i had these cysts on my chin for years and had loads of problems with warts and verrucas that wouldnt go away and more recently thrush that just wouldnt leave no matter what i did so part of me is like if anyone was gonna get an incurable skin condition it would be me haha

Yeah it would be nice to know some people in real life that have it just to not feel like the only one in the world but i read that even as much as 25% of girls have it cause its easier for girls to get so i like to just look at like a group of four people and be like chances are one of them has it too

Why do I feel like we are the same person

I had spots so bad as a teen I have eczema and I always got warts and veruccas as a kid!!

Bloody hell we had a rough life with these skin complaints 😂 Haha yeah I look at people and count and whenever I count a 4th girl I tell myself she has it!!!