1. Community
  2. Infections
  3. Genital Herpes Simplex

Diagnosis, feel like my life is over. MILD SYMPTOMS

Posted , 10 users are following.

Greentea14
Greentea14

I have officially lost my faith in the healthcare system.

I have been told by 5 health care professionals that I don't have herpes.

I finally managed to get a swab done on a fissure or 'crack' that appeared just next to my clitoris - this was my only symptom really.

The results have come back (PCR) and not only do i have HSV1 but also HSV2!!

My life is officially over. I've called in sick to work.

How am I supposed to get passed this?

My symptoms are SO mild. Like SO mild. NO fever. No illness. No tingling. Just fissures in the skin and a few red blotches, that's it.

And now i'm limbered with this disease forver. I feel disgusting. Noone will ever love me again.

 

0 likes, 32 replies

32 Replies

Next
  • nikki1230
    nikki1230 Greentea14

    Posted

    What you are feeling is completely normal. Just so you know 1 in 4 of us are in this situation. It's no big deal once you get past the shock of it all and your first outbreak. Medication if taken as prescribed will suppress everything and most likely overtime you'll experience less and less outbreaks. I've had this 10 and a half years and can probably count on just over 1 hand the number of outbreaks I've had. Extreme stress brings them on for me. That's pretty much the only thing that does. It's soooo common really. It's just got a stigma. I thought I'd never find love again but I did. He does not have the virus but you know what he loves me and tells me if he gets it he gets it. Just be honest and upfront. I made that decision to be that way because I was blindsided by a very knowing individual who passed this to me. My mistake was not being careful. You will be ok in the long run. There are tons of people to support you. Take time to yourself and possibly join a support group that maybe you actually go to and maybe get some counseling. It helps a great deal. smile
  • louise123456
    louise123456 Greentea14

    Posted

    I was just wondering about you yesterday, and thought that the silence maybe meant you had got the all clear. I'm so sorry you're going through this now, I'm only 2 weeks ahead of you and absolutely understand.

    Similarly I didn't have fever or feel ill, was sore around the actual site of the sores and had swollen glands but other than that felt perfect. Isn't it odd how something so life affecting happens and we didn't even feel so bad. To be honest I'm absolutely worn out now so it's taken its toll more so after the outbreak.

    I know you are in the Uk and guess it's similar to here, there's no sti dedicated counsellors or anything. I went to a counsellor last week and last night who i had been to before years back, she's not specialised in that area but at the end of the day it's not the infection that is the issue, it's how people see it, how we see it, how we see ourselves etc... It may be worth going to see someone for a chat?

    I'm still similar to you in that I can't see anyone ever wanting to come near me sexually again, which therefor means no kids/marriage etc... But even if that's the case, what are we to do.. Curl up and not make the most of our situation? No way. I did that for the first week then tried to surround myself with friends and family to remind me that I'm still a valid person who is loved by others, even if not a male partner. Do nice things, go for nice food, plan something to take your mind off it - I'm planning a holiday to Thailand at the moment. It's always there though in my mind too, even out for a drink on Friday night I was like, what's the point any more. But we still have to live and do little things that make us happy.

    I really empathise, I know exactly what you are going trough. Have you anyone to talk to?

    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus louise123456

      Posted

      I second your subsequent approach to having herpes! Does much for your emotional side to get back to the things you like to do, to distract yourself, keep busy and have fun, etc. Takes a little time to snap out of the initial shock and despair phase, but it's totally doable. The man/sex situation is still rather depressing to think about, though, so I try not to, lol.
    • TLAN
      TLAN louise123456

      Posted

      I wish I could be as positive as you Louise. I'm floored still. It's on my mind always. I've just been to a nurse appointment and broken down over this again. I can't get over it.
    • louise123456
      louise123456 TLAN

      Posted

      I'm honestly not positive about it, I'm miserable at times and thinking is the happiest I'll ever be already come and gone? Am I never going to have a man cuddle me or tell me they love me again? But... Me not living life isn't going to make this horrendous thing go away. Im never going to get another chance to live so I HAVE to make the most out of the cards I was dealt. A bad choice in a lying guy has left me with this but I (and we) all still are alive and it's not life threatening thankfully so I am still going to try have some enjoyable times in the midst of the misery, self pity and worry for the future.
    • TLAN
      TLAN louise123456

      Posted

      I mean you just sound like you've got your head around it. You're right in all you're saying. I'm just so upset at decisions I made which have now impacted my life. I have never had anything in my life and now I feel I'm just this... I walk about looking at people thinking they wouldn't have it. I feel like I'm wearing a sign.

      In the past three months I've gone from being a happy, confident woman who could take on anything. Now I'm just a mess, crying, isolated. I feel life is over.

    • louise123456
      louise123456 TLAN

      Posted

      I know what you mean about the impact.. I was plodding along just killing time with this guy to be honest, I knew he wasn't my "forever" guy - and then BAM, this hits and life wont ever be the same again... it's scary. Some days I think Jesus H Christ, if I'd just listened to my intuition and ended things about 6 weeks ago then I would be living a normal life and have every chance of meeting someone without all of this hanging over me. But what can I do about it now, it is what it is. I feel sick when I think too much about it and at night time thoughts are awful so I try not dwell too long.

      Have you a good group of friends? Some days it drains me totally to spend time with my friends or Mum or nephews and pretend like life is still normal, but it's what's needed to try feel like yourself again. If you lock yourself away with your thoughts and regrets you'll never move on from it. When you feel stronger you need to try get out a little bit and talk to people and do things for yourself, things that you like doing for you and try take some small pleasure in any little thing. Do you have any interest that gets you out and about that you can throw yourself into?

    • Greentea14
      Greentea14 louise123456

      Posted

      Thanks for your reply.

      One minute I feel fine - it's just a skin condition, right? And my outbreak was mild so fingers crossed bodes well for the future..

      And then I think ABOUT the future, how I feel noone will ever love me again, i'll never be able to have care free sex again, i've lost my bliss in ignorance.

      It makes me sad, because If i was to meet someone new, they wouldn't be able to tell me for sure that they DON'T have herpes, would they? Because a lot of people are aysmptomatic right?

      So there are loads of people walking around saying they're std free when in fact they don't actually know that for sure... but here i am, having to disclose it forever because I had a mild symptom that i decded to get swabbed.

      I wish i never went for the swab test. One hsv i could cope with, but both?

      I have my parents and my best friend to help me with this but noone can actually take it away and now this is my life forever.

      I feel like a ffraud with a disgusting dirty secret. Sorry to vent.

      That's so weird - i'm planning a trip to Thailand in November! Herpes sufferers unite hahaha.

    • Greentea14
      Greentea14 TLAN

      Posted

      Please know that you're not alone and I feel the same. at least there may be some comfort in knowing that you're not the only one who feels like this.
    • louise123456
      louise123456 Greentea14

      Posted

      "It's just a skin condition" doesn't make me feel any better to be honest, it's sexually transmitted, therefore that screws up our chances of finding guys who will be willing to take that risk. The more i know about it the more I realise that I'd fully understand someone telling me no thanks, because it's so easy to pass it on, it's scary... Absolutely no way of being sure that it won't be passed, in this bloody day and age!

      I don't think that's it's all too common to have zero symptoms for years and years if you have contracted it. Certainly possible, but from what I've read people have had mild outbreaks and just not realised it, so that's probably more so why people are wandering around oblivious. I also wish I never went to get tested. I mean it would have cleared up itself and I could have gone about life. But at the end of the day we now know what we know, and I'm NEVER going to do what was done to me and hide it from someone on purpose, it's highly unfair. So therefore God only knows if I'll ever settle down with a man. Which is a miserable thought... But what else can we do but keep living and trying to find happiness in other things, it's that's or utter misery.

      I would also feel like a fraud, had this conversation at my counselling session last night when she says look you can't tell every guy you go on a few dates with, you have to wait long enough to see if either/both of you even want to get to a longer term thing. I would just feel that after a few dates maybe they should know then, because would we be reeling them in to wait longer. I don't know, but that's down the line for me at the moment anyway, need to get myself strong and together before even thinking about that!

  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus Greentea14

    Posted

    You have both types genitally, as per pcr swab? That has to be quite the shock, but thank goodness your symptoms are so mild! Louise's advice is bang on, by the way, but it will take a bit of time to wrap your head around your diagnosis at first. When you're ready, start treating yourself and getting back to routine. It really does help.
    • Greentea14
      Greentea14 FelizCastus

      Posted

      Yeah both types..

      Is there anyway to find out which type I got first?

      I only noticed symptoms after receiving oral sex from one guy.

      Is it possible I had hsv1 genitally, and then aquired hsv2? or vice versa?

      I dont understand why the symptoms were so so mild.

    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Greentea14

      Posted

      Explained in your other post. Type 1 first (or around the same time) as Type 2.
  • monet1991
    monet1991 Greentea14

    Posted

    Let me just say, I completely understand how you feel. I was just diagnosed yesterday per swab with my gyno. I've never broke down that bad but I balled my eyes out. Luckily, I had my best friend there with me and the doctor looked at her and said, "please take care of her." Because he knew how bad I was taking this. I cried all day. I cried in the shower, in the bathroom (also because peeing is a son of a you know what so that hurt), I cried at night. I cried until I physically couldn't cry anymore. No matter how ashamed, and disgusting, and outcasted, and feeling like I might not fall in love or get close to someone ever again, I realized that it's not the end of the world. It really realllly fn sucks. I know. But it could be worse. There's friends and family who will support and medicine that will probably stop you from having an outbreak ever again. It gets better you just have to stay positive. THe hardest thing for me was telling my boyfriend. Whom I don't know if I contracted it from him or not yet. At first, he was very standoffish about it and I mentally prepared myself for rejection. But the more questions he asked and the more information I gave him, he's coming around. He said he's already fallen in love so he's stuck no matter what lol. Even though I haven't gotten my official test results back yet, I'm pretty sure I know what I have. But it takes time. Fortunately for me, I had my bestfriend by my side and an ex whom I tell everything to. Without them, I would've lost my mind.
  • monet1991
    monet1991 Greentea14

    Posted

    Also, I think the worst part for me is not being able to poop at the moment lol but cheer up! We are all here in the same boat with you. smile
    • monet1991
      monet1991 Greentea14

      Posted

      Of course love. But seriously if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here for anything.
Back to top
Next

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.