Discouraged Depressed and many many regrets!
Posted , 19 users are following.
I don't want to bother everyone around me with my feelings. And I thought of writing what I am going through in this forum. I am almost 7 weeks post op LTHR posterior approach. I am not able to walk without my crutches. The pain is different than before the op but still there is pain. Back knee pelvis pain. Dic said all fine. Everyday when I wake up I feel the prosthesis. It's weird. regret a lot why I did this @#$$///@@# surgery. The only thing that is encouraging me is to have faith. That eveything will be alright. I will return to my old life soon. I discovered that I want to live and will fight till the end. Another thing is people...the look of pity when they see you. Poor Sareeta @ 33 years and crippled. My husband does not talk to me much. I am lucky that I have my parents taking care of me. I told my husband that I will divorce if he wants. He didn't reply. I miss my son since he is living with my husband.
I feel helpless and useless. If only I could go back in time...
so I decided to follow some Buddhists quotes
'The past cannot be changed'
Overthinking leads to unhappiness.
I play these in my mind when I am sad.
1 like, 34 replies
coco_bear sareeta50759
Posted
Hello
I had left hip revision that didn't go well . I have nerve damage from that surgery. Everyday say to myself stay positive. Your body has been through alot takes good 3 months until you start to feel better don't be so hard on yourself.
My life has changed I lost my job unable to work on my feet and 3 yrs. Later im still on disability .
My boyfriend and I are like roommates. All I can say is keep taking care of yourself, the rest will take care of itself. I went on antidepressant really helping me it took along time to agree to take it but once I did I started to feel better
Take care
Jackie.
sandra_41945 coco_bear
Posted
linda81469 sareeta50759
Posted
Streets I know how you feel. I'm still struggling with my decision. I had surgery back in July, 3 weeks later it's dislocated! 2 days later I had hip revision. 6 weeks non weight bearing. I cried every day and I mean hard! I've been 3 weeks with physical therapy. I've seen improvement but not I'm dealing with nerves waking up, muscle pain & weakness, a very stiff joint, bursitis and possibly tendinitis! I'm like wth!! If only I knew! But like you said the past cannot be changed. I pray every day and ask for perseverance, hope & faith. It's a struggle but we can do it!!! I've wanted to give up, but I know that it will get better. Be kind to yourself, healing comes in different times, may not be as fast as we like. I'm sorry you have to deal with the looming decision of divorce especially during this time. But focus on you and your healing. Take care of you. Hopefully you can see your son and feel some happiness. Prayers going your way. Hugs 🤗 too. Hang in there it will get better!! Be patient and kind to you!! LD
linda81469
Posted
renee01952 sareeta50759
Posted
hi sareeta,
I am checking in with you - How are you doing?
are you at your parents' house while recuperating ?
Please don't think that people pity you ...
you are NOT crippled - you had major invasive Total Hip Replacement surgery 7 weeks ago ... your body is doing her best to heal and needs time to do so -
and you probably really needed this surgery ; the alternative would have been a wheelchair
Using crutches at this moment is nothing to be ashamed of -
Keep having faith !!!
big warm hug
renee
sareeta50759 renee01952
Posted
Hi Renee,
Feeling better today. Yes am staying at my parents. Today I stayed with my brother and entertain me a lot. Took appointment with the physiotherapist next week. I will try not to be depressed as Monday. I just want to take care of my son..but can't. So after 7 weeks of not seeing him.it's hard. I never left him since he was born in 2014. My hip problem aggravated post pregnancy. I didn't know I had a dysplasia and things got bad since then.
But thanks to all those comments, I feel that am not alone. And it's not only me who get depressed after operation.
Thanks.
steve86482 sareeta50759
Posted
michelle48397 sareeta50759
Posted
recovered than not, and can take up to a year to feel completely
normal. Try to keep that in mind and get a good physio like
someone else said. I am sending good thoughts and healing
Wishes your way.
suep67 sareeta50759
Posted
Hi there Sareeta, I'm really sorry to hear what your going through and i know how you feel. I'm 3yrs post op TLHR ceramic on ceramic which i had done at 45yo and 3yrs later I'm still on crutches and in alot of pain I've been though alot i also had a Left knee arthroscope and my abductor tendons and Psoas tendons cut as my due to restricted movement. I suffer with Chronic nerve pain since and i can't walk, sit, stand, for more than 5mins without unbearable pain, travelling increases my pain causes my knee and foot to swell. I have tried everything for my pain and been on 60mgs of Oxynorm, 400mgs of Tapentadol, 10-30mgs of Valium per day unfortunately with all meds i tried me to get Eyraforme Multiforme(Steven Johnson Syndrome) i seriously am over the pain hate my life tiered of the struggle. Ive given up or lost everything in my life i love or that matters. I just finished trialing a spinal nerve stimulating device which went well i had no nerve pain for 7 days but on day 7 i got an infection which is only a 1% chance of getting but of course if things will go wrong it would with me. Now I'm back to full nerve pain and worse than before the Surgeon's were happy with my trial but now it will take 4-5 months maybe more before they can do surgery and put in a permanent stimulator device but problem is i struggle to get through my day let a lone months. Honestly I'm tiered and depressed i just want to end it all now......
steve86482 suep67
Posted
renee01952 suep67
Posted
my heart goes out to you ...
I wish I had the right words to comfort you ...
Wishing that the right people will show up in your life who will be able to help you get better ...
healing rays send your way
big warm hug
renee
suep67 steve86482
Posted
Hi there Steve, thank you Yes I've had multiple opinions and my only hope of getting back to some kind of normal or relief from the chronic nerve pain is having the nerve stimulator permanent implant to relieve the nerve pain then 3 months of rehab before they can re operate on my hip and replace part of the hip with plastic then see how it goes. Then it will take another 12mths of intense therapy hoping i can walk again un aided. I'm just really depressed at the moment because I've waited 7yrs since my accident to ride my horses again and have been out on free lease while having a TLHR i never gave up but now things the way they are i will never ride my babies again and reality set in as i had NO CHOICE but to sell my horse which 2 of my babies went to new homes on the weekend. I really feel like I've lost everything, i wss a very active out going woman horses, jet skiing, dirt bike riding i was an adrenaline junky and now i feel like a total looser and aged by at least 10 years. I hate life so much i feel I've been so patient 7 years to recover but i went from bad to worse and just the thought waiting another 5mths before they can do surgery again and living everyday with this pain i seriously don't know if I can do it..... thank you kindly
bobbie102 suep67
Posted
Ohhh my poor lov 😱😱😱 you really need to see a counsellor, your in far too much pain physically , emotionally and mentally, you can't cope with this alone, you will crack up , it's too much to carry by yourself . You need a lot of support 😪. It's so unfair 😟.
steve86482 suep67
Posted
suep67 bobbie102
Posted
Hi there Bobbie, i am seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist I've spoken to them about everything and they can't treat me with medications as that was what first caused my out break of ths Steven Johnson Syndrome. Yes I'm hurting alot mentally and physically i lost and don't know what eles to do I've never been one to give up without a fight but I'm tired of fighting this fight.
suep67 steve86482
Posted
Hi there Steve, thank you for telling me your story sounds like you have also been through a lot of health issues I'm so sorry to hear that. I was told that if they they try to repair the nerve damage i would end up in a wheelchair so the nerve stimulator was my only option left and it actually worked i had 100% nerve pain relief but it was only a trial t was so good living with NO nerve pain for 7 days until I got an infection in my spine, I'm recovering now but in more nerve pain mow than before and the thought of living with this pain for another 5mths this pain consumes my life i honestly don't know if i could do this anymore.