Disheartened

Posted , 20 users are following.

My closest friend has just basically told me to get a grip. We are of a similar age (46) and she says I'm the only women in our age group, including herself, she knows who is ' suffering' with bad peri/meno symptoms. Apparently everyone else is doing great and getting on with it. I now feel like she sees me as a complainer and weak. The thing is I don't personally know any women who are having it bad (which is good thing - I wouldn't wish it on anyone) so maybe I am just one of the unlucky few or I am a complainer and weak. Who knows, all I do know is the brain fog, dizziness, nausea, neck aches, headaches, extreme fatigue, hair loss etc etc is very real, if only to me.

Sorry to babble on, but feeling sad and a bit alone right now. If your female friends can't sympathise it's a lonely old place to be.

But hey, reading all your posts on here helps tremendously - l don't know how I'd cope without this place. Thank you all for your posts and I wish you all as smooth and symptom free transition as possible.

Every day is a day towards getting to the other side!

Happy Sunday!

Love and best wishes Dazed xx

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  • Posted

    Firstly I would like to say get a new freind. Lucky her and all her other "freinds", honestly you don't need them. It is going to be hard and I am lucky because I have an understanding husband but even my sister doesn't want to know yet I was there for her. Your best freind may start her symptoms soon as It is different fore each individual and she will want you then. It is hard to deal with all the stuff this time of life is throwing at us but you have to be kind to yourself. I am 56 an postmenopausal and am still getting unbearable symptoms. I am finding ways to get through them and I do, mostly. If you have any specific symptoms at the moment post them and I will tell you what I have done to overcome them if I can. You are by no means alone and I doubt if all your freinds will escape it . Take care..

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    • Posted

      I've just got back from a long(ish) walk to clear my head (although it bring on a dizzy flush lol) to find yours and others kind and helpful replies. Thank you so much for taking the time.

      Yes, I think I will give our friendship some space for a little while. I love her dearly but I am a little disappointed. I would never wish this on her but part of me would like her to experience just a little of what it can be like so she might understand better. I hope that doesn't sound mean spirited.

      I'm sorry to hear your sister doesn't want to know that must be hard, but I'm glad that you have an understanding and supportive husband - so important. Sorry also to hear you are still having unbearable symptoms post menopause. I hope it eases of for you soon, and you find this post menopausal zest we've all been promised!

      My worst symptoms at the moment are extreme fatigue and a weird pressure in my head/lightheadedness. Not a very a good description, but it feels like my head is not attached to my body and my ears pulse/ring - not pleasant!

      Sorry for the long reply, and thank you again for giving me your time and support.

      Best wishes Dazed xx

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    • Posted

      Not mean spirited at all it is understandable that you are feeling a bit despondent at the moment. The walks must be doing you good well done ( feeling a bit lazy myself) I should take a leaf from your book! Yes I get that ringing too. No need to apologise I am enjoying the chats and it looks like everyone else is too. Good luck with everything.
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  • Posted

    Hi Dazed, my closest friend said the same of me when I was at my worst. She said get over it. But I told her that I was sorry but that I wasn't going to be going out or dealing with anything because my hormones were making me feel too weird and since she didn't understand, that I couldn't deal with her either.  When she saw that I meant it, she backed off,  because we were not going out, since we use to love to go shopping. Finally, at the end of 3 months she begged me to please go out with her, she wanted to go shopping. I told her I would try. Which I did, but now she was much more sympathetic towards me and even apologized because while she sailed through it, I was having it bad. We are also of similar age. So tell her that your hormones are making you distressed, and sick, and that you won't be dealing with her until you get over it. And leave it at that. If she's truly your friend she'll come around and be a little more understanding even if she's not going through it. Happy Sunday!

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    • Posted

      Thanks Sochima, and so sorry to hear your friend was unsympathetic too - gosh isn't this one of the times in our lives we should be able to count on our friends! So glad that she realised she had not treated you like a friend should and is now more caring and understanding. She'll need you one day and will glad to have your support.

      Thanks again and enjoy your Sunday!

      Best wishes Dazed xx

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  • Posted

    Well you can tell her to get a grip when she's suddenly hit with an unexplained symptom - I think it's very unkind of her to treat you this way - I know your symptoms are very real and they do pass - I was boasting on this site how amazing I was feeling in the spring for about two months - I've now hit another low but I know I'll get back to that good place again even if it does take weeks or months - hang in there. I too have friends that cannot even begin to realise or understand how I'm feeling and I think it's because they haven't got there yet! I'm actually quite pleased I'm going through it early - I'm 48 and have had a myriad of symptoms for about 3 years so far - ignore those for now who don't understand and tune in here as when you need support - you'll get it by the bucket load here. Thinking of you as its not fun x

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    • Posted

      Thanks Sophie! Poor you, thinking you're on the home stretch only to have symptoms come back - peri/meno can be cruel!

      I really hope those good days come back for you very soon! And yes being able to come on here and share with ladies like yourself really helps - it's a godsend and I've no idea how women coped before the Internet.

      Thanks again and take care of you - Dazed xx

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  • Posted

    ha!  the sad truth is that unless they experience it themselves, they don't understand how horrible it actually is for lots of us.  I would guess that the women you know including your friend have not really hit the 'bad' bit yet.  Maybe they won't, who knows.  I wish you well to get through this phase, you'll be stronger for it AND you're getting through it and will be there before you know it!  That's brave and we are all with you.  You're stronger that you think you are.  take care.

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    • Posted

      Thanks Metamorphed! I guess sometimes we all have to experience something to be able to understand what it's like - I can certainly empathise with all the ladies on here having seemed to have experienced many of the symptoms for the last 7 years! I wish all the brave ladies on here some blessed relief soon!

      Take care Dazed xx

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  • Posted

    Dear dazed and confused, I feel equally alone and segregated in my present surroundings. Neither my mom or elder sis explained all these symptoms. I cannot convince anyone about the hell I'm going through. My friends , husband, children look at me dazed.

    A lone acquaintance said it happens to one in thousand woman in the east and one in seven in the west. That's how special we are.......see ?

    Awareness about it is very limited.

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    • Posted

      Oh Menopolized I'm so sorry to hear you're not getting the understanding and support from your family and friends that you should. I know what that's like and it can feel very lonely. Thank goodness we have somewhere like this for support.

      I guess we are special, but it's not the kind of special we'd really like to be, but nevertheless we really are special because we keep on trooping!

      Wishing you well and all best wishes Dazed xx

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  • Posted

    Hi Dazed...peri is a lonely place to be without support. I suppose its hard to imagine what its like unless you experience it. I feel like I am always complaining of just feeling 'ill' most of the time now. My husband gets tired of hearing me talk about it....hell..even I get tired of me talking about it lol

    I know when I had severe morning sickness years ago people would just tell me to have a cracker and cup of tea to settle my tummy. I couldnt even hold down water!

    I have also had symptoms for a few years that got worse last year...to the point where I thought I was having a breakdown....depression anxiety sweats couldnt cope...plus physically indigestion headaches aching muscles etc. After a few months it lifted to a degree but this month I have slid back again into the 'hole'.

    I know it will lift again...as will yours. We are all on this rollercoaster together....and if you can't get support from your friends come on here...we can all relate. Take care x

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    • Posted

      I know what you mean....i feel like i am clinging on for dear life some days lol

      I feel like if I lose it I will TOTALLY lose it....i don't know how I get through some days...i just do on autopilot. I love the rare days when i feel like my old self and just feel content and happy. smile

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    • Posted

      Don't let it consume you Janine. I can't remember the last time I felt like myself. I think I am the only one on here who is postmenopausal (maybe I am the oldest, at 56) should be getting to the other side by now! You all will be the first to know then we will have a virtual party 😁

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    • Posted

      I'm 59 and had a post menopause spotting after 19 months of nothing spotted for 7 days and the nothing until 9 months later then had a flood of a period!  My gyn took blood after all the other testing too, anyways they said I was still perimeno can you belive that and I am 59 years old. I will be 60 March 20th. I started my period at 9 years old and had 3 more kids in my 30's  one at 32 , 37 and 38!  I just wonder if having such an early period at 9 years old and having 3 more kids in my 30's has anything to do with this mess dragging on SO long!? 

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    • Posted

      Oh dear that is terrible. Never heard this before, you must be going mad with it and starting your period at nine, what is going on! You have got to get to the bottom of it with your GP/genie. Ireally do hope you get this sorted very soon. It isnt that much comfort to you but we are here for you when ever you want to talk, I know I would feel desperate if that happend to me. Try not to get to stressed I am sure you will get it sorted soon, I sincerely hope so. Good luck crosado. Keep in touch. By the way something to make you smile my birthday is march 20 too. I am 56.☺u
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    • Posted

      Usually if you start early you start meno early.  Usually women of our age start on average around 13.  That's very unusual.Some ethnic groups start earlier than others.  My friend's granddaughter started at 9 recently and they were very upset.  

      Dos it run in your family?  You don't fit the average but really I don't think many women do.  

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    • Posted

      Actually it's just the opposite the earlier you start your period the later menopause comes I thought it was the other way around too but it's not.

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    • Posted

      Well I am into interior design so kind of similar☺ I will think about you on the day. You will get through it all, you sound like a positive person or maybe you are like me and just cross every bridge when you come to it! Are you a typical Pisces? I most definitely am.
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    • Posted

      Thanks Jokey...like the name by the way.

      I had a good day today...yay me lol

      I treasure them as they get me through the bad ones. I am just 49...my mum was finished at my age but I remember she suffered terribly with flooding sweats anxiety and dread.

      Hopefully I don't get that bad but I fear I am only just starting this journey as I am still regular. How good would it be if I just woke up one day and it was finished. Men don't know how lucky they have it. I have 3 sons 15 17 and 20. I know they will be great husbands as they have been really helpful to me during this time ( and hubby too).

      I am lucky in that respect smile

      Looking forward to that virtual party wink

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    • Posted

      Hi, Janine, I am glad you had a good day. I was still having regular periods at your age I am afraid I was 52 when mine stopped and I was so happy as I had been through he'll. Then my me no symptoms really kicked in but do you know what despite all this I am going through I would go through it all again, I dreaded every month and I have been suffering since I was 18. My mum had no problems at all and she had no symptoms of the menapause! (Bless her). Your son's are great mine was kind of oblivious lol (still is although he is married now and great with his wife's menstuaral problems). Unfortunately my daughter takes after me so is going through it herself and I am having to support her. Lucky for us we have great husbands. I suppose you will just wake up one day and it will be finished, I must have but you are probably still expecting it and you won't know it has happened. Does that even make sense Ha ha! Hope so. Jeep on talking it certainly is making me fee better. By the way Jokey is a combination of mine and my husband's names!😁😊

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    • Posted

      Lol...if I combined our names it would be Janted or Tedine...not quite as catchy!

      The sun was shining today here in qld australia so its hard to be flat when the weather is so beautiful. I had a day off work so I pottered around in the garden with the dog and cats smile

      I think it is just what I needed...I need one day a week with no one home...especially this time of year....i have one son graduating uni next month....another finishing high school ...and the youngest just got a part time job so I am taxi. I run my own cleaning business 4 days a week too so I just don't have time for peri wink

      I do think meno is natures wake up call for us though.....my whole life has been busy looking after everyone else at my expense.

      Not that I am complaining but I do need to start nurturing myself now too. Its sort of your body going look after yourself lady or there will be consequences lol

      Nice talking to you x

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