Do I deserve the bad things that happen to me?

That is a good question marey. I think a great deal hangs on the answer. How do you answer your question?

Yes, Shellesmalley, about 40 years ago. How about you, has something big happened to you?

I'm sorry to hear that. It's an awful fact of life that sometimes bad /awful things happen to good people. As for your question Yes I suppose it has. I have often thought what's the point and twice acted in it . I'm a mum of two which will probably shock and anger some people who read this but believe me when I say those girls are the only reason I'm still here plus a bit of luck . Do you have children? Or nieces / nephews? 

Yes Shellesmalley, I have three boys, lost our only girl at birth and still mourne her, and three granddaughters and three grandsons, nieces and nephews too. They are all hugely important to my wife and I. I rejoice that when you acted on it it didn't come off and here you are supporting us, your family in adversity, as well as supporting your family by nature. Politiians may see each of us as individual tax sources. I see families. Families give the greatest security and cohesion in adversity, the greatest joy and the greatest sorrow. Time and again we see that blood is thicker than water.

sorry for the loss of your daughter George....was that 40 years ago?

what was her name?

Thank you Marey. We never had another daughter; I doubt it would have made any difference if we had had a dozen daughters. We have a hole in our hearts where she should have been. She died during the birth - too far for a c.section and too short for a birth. We were very shocked and never named her. the poor young inexperienced doctor who covered the weekend alone was very shocked and cut up. People gave little thought to still births then. My father's sympathy was expressed as "What bad luck." He never mentioned the matter again. My mother had died some three years earlier. Named or not, we each have that hole in our hearts, holes that are 50 years old now.

Hi George, I too lost a child while 7 mths pregnant.  My daughter lost a child the same way.  The total difference with us was that in her time of loss, they allowed her to deliver as natural as possible and had her hold the baby until he passed, his name was Ryan, he also had to have a funeral as any child born 7 mths or older is considered a "normal" pregnancy (not sure exactly of that term, so "normal" was all I could think of)

.  However, when I had the exact same problem, they sat me on a pot and kept injecting me with inducing shots to pass this, yes "this" not the child.  As I began to pass "this" I heard a plop into the pot and the nurse just took that pot and ran away with it.  I never saw the baby nor heard what had happened.  Included with the confusion, I had a roommate that was on the phone reporting step by step the pain I was going through.  

My daughter was in a private room and those who entered were her choice.  

Times have changed for the better and the grieving process had an ending for  her.  We, George, and myself, never had that opportunity to grieve by holding our beloved we held close to us for 7 mths or 9 mths.  We sufferd a loss like my daughter did but it wasn't recognized as such.

Warm regards,

Frustrated

Yes, frustrated. I do so agree with your analysis. We grieved but were not allowed to grieve. So we were dammaged instead. Yes, there was a funeral but no you don't treat it as a funeral. Again more damage. And so in those days emotional scar tissue was consider to be 'stiff upper lip'. I am glad your daughter was treated so kindly. My conclusion has been that once mother and father know conception has happened they have a child with all the emotional bonds that entails. You will guess correctly how I view abortion.

(sorry to drift off topic) 

Are you drunk or a n other! I am and v on my own wondering similar to you but not as confusing! My partner working all night and I'm bored but think you might be more bored? 

Hi Steve, my problem with the dream idea, and multi-millions think that way, is that pain is SO sore and distress is so very upsetting. When I have an upsetting or 'dangerous' dream I just wake up in a hurry. But I can't just wake up from pain in a hurry, wish I could.

hmmmm

so sorry for your pain...there are techniques to disassociate from pain....keep searching xxxxxx

bad dreams? go back into them...and turn them around...dream control...you can do it !!!!!!

but also appropriately control pain.... keep on top of it so you minimise your dosage

Thank you Marey

Find the pain and you will find your purpose.

Frustrated

oh hello frustrated !!

what an interesting philosophical concept...!

I was speaking to George of course on a purely mundate note...an important principle of nursing being to avoid pain overwhelm by keeping 'up-to-date' with meds where indicated.

your idea is much more interesting.....please would you elucidate!!

by the way have we all seen... the cure....a short inspirational film? i don't think it would be off-topic as its about mindset.

HI Marey ~

The quote "to find your purpose, find the wound".  This quote is taken from the book, "The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here for?" By Rick Warren.  Love his life quotes.  

That particular quote hits many because so many of us are trying to "find our purpose in life" and I believe with being held down with the "wounds" suffered, we cannot see our purpose.  Suppose you were abused as a child and held onto that and couldn't allow yourself to let go because it was so painful.  W/O that pain, you couldn't find the wound, right?  

In fact, I've started a discussion with that in mind.  It's called "To find your purpose, you must find the wound"...has anyone been able to find their wound?

 Anyway, it's slow in starting but perhaps some deep thinkers will join in due time.  Also, those who aren't open to being vunerable, they will bypass this discussion in a heartbeat.  So there's that to consider as well.

I love deepness in any conversation.  But not so deep I get lost.  If that be the case, i will state so.

Welcome Marey, nice to see your posts again 

Warm regards,

Frustrated

thanks!

fascinating stuff!

xx

Deep and swimming, not deep and drowning - is that it frustrated?