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Does anyone here have OCD?

Posted , 2 users are following.

rubes25
rubes25

I think I may have moderate OCD. I have Anxiety Disorder and Depression, although I am unmedicated for both (I have suffered for over ten-years and chose to go it alone a few years ago).

The OCD symptoms have never intruded on my life, and up until a few years ago, I thought they were completely normal, so never felt the need to mention it to my doctors.

Does this sound like OCD?

I have obsessive thoughts that never go away. Sometimes, they go on all night, and have caused bouts of insomnia in the past. I will dwell on things, think on them, leaving no stone untouched. They don't go away until I have thought about every possible outcome to every possible scenario.

I have to check my keys, phone and wallet several times before leaving the house, and do it every ten-minutes when outside. I have to keep my keys in the front pocket, attached to a large keychain or a piece of string, which stays outside my bag, and I have to stop to stroke it for three-minutes after checking my bag every ten-minutes. If I get interupted before the three-minutes is up, I get anxious and frustrated and have to begin all over again. My phone must ALWAYS go behind my wallet, and I must be able to see the camera, charging port or the make of the phone.

I eat from the outside in, in a circular fashion. I also must always start with the veggies, then the carbs, then the meat. I cannot mix foods, although I seem to be able to mix more now, although not consistently.

When I do the laundry, I start with the smallest items to the bigger, and must hang them in that fashion.

When I do the washing-up, I must, first, clean the sink, then put the plug, then fill the sink, then wash the cuttlery. I change the water, then wash the smallest plates and bowles, change the water again, then wash the bigger plates and bowles, then change the water again, and finally wash the pots and pans. Afterwards, I clean the sink again.

I have to turn up early. Not late, or on time. At least half-hour, or fifteen-minutes early. If someone says they're leaving at one, and at one-fifteen, they haven't left, I get panicky. If someone I'm not expecting knocks on my door, I get panicky and don't answer. I have to lock the door everytime I close it.

I also have several phobias but I'm not sure if they're classed as OCD.

Another one was when I was assembling my wardrobe. Over two hours, I had four panic attacks and was crying and panicking, because my husband wanted to do the opposite from me. If he'd listened to me, the whole thing would have been upside down. It just felt completely unnatural to me, to NOT put them upside down. I mean, we laugh about it now.

Sorry for the essay, but would anyone say this was OCD? Also, what are some "habits" or "rituals" that people with OCD experience?

0 likes, 41 replies

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  • rubes25
    rubes25

    Posted

    another one I forgot, is my germphobia. If someone kisses my cheek or hand, I sit still as a stone and panic until they leave so I can grab a wipe out my bag and rub the spot til I'm red.
  • boing333
    boing333 rubes25

    Posted

    I wouldn't say this was OCD - I'd say it was anxiety and being left to ruminate over the possibility you have OCD. It's common if you are the sort who 'worries a lot' or focuses on their habits to the point where their habits that couldn't be explained before now have a name. The reality is, everybody has habits and rituals; things they are not satisfied with until they are done - doesn't mean they have a condition. Those of us with a clinical anxiety disorder tend to just worry about things at a more amplified level; being hyper-conscious of self and habits. It must have a name, something must explain this, etc.

    The question is whether or not this affects your quality of life, and if so, how?

    I find myself getting intrusive thoughts at night that come out of nowhere, or have no bearing on reality or how I actually feel in any way. Then I get racing thoughts that seem to be a bit like a dot to dot pattern that don't connect to ever form a clear picture. I cut down on coffee, increased exercise and then started occupying my mind at night by immersing myself in books and following a pattern of gradually dimming my bedlight until my eyes were so tired that I could barely keep them open any longer and had to sleep.

    • rubes25
      rubes25 boing333

      Posted

      Thank you so much. You are exactly right. People with Anxiety DO worry at an aplified level. During my bad phases, I have recurring dreams that are so horrific I can't discuss them, and they pop up even when I nap. It's all a manifistation of my emotions.

      I wouldn't say the symptoms disrupt my life. If anything, they help me switch off my brain and focus on something other then my thoughts.

      My only problem is, relationships. I get irritable if they interfere with my little routines, or if they don't understand my disorder, or if they run late or don't turn up on time, even if they tell me they'll be running be late.

      I was medicated for ten-years, on and off. Stopping finally during my second pregnancy. I felt so unreal on the medication, like I wasn't REALLY feeling or living. Like, I was feeling what they wanted me to feel.

      But a part of me regrets my decision every day.

    • boing333
      boing333 rubes25

      Posted

      Never regret coming off medication if you made the decision to do it. I discussed this elsewhere that medication unfortunately creates a problem in itself of dependence due to lack of services/speed they become available.

      What helps is discussing it. Even that is challenging. Group therapy sessions work but you can't always have them and they often aren't there when you need them the most - ie. by yourself. Places like this website and others exist so people can discuss when they want to discuss things, and if you get a hasty response then you're very lucky.

      I would suggest when by yourself to try and occupy your mind with healthier routines though. I don't have OCD - I thought for a while I had schizoaffective disorder too because of the racing thoughts element/no clearly defined picture - it's just my anxiety telling me to worry about things that I don't need to worry about.

    • rubes25
      rubes25 boing333

      Posted

      No, you're right. I don't take medicine for anything, unless it's life threatening. The time I got medicated, I was on it for five-years, then didn't go back on it for another few years, but only when I was really, really, very bad, to get me over the hurdle.

      I was speaking to some lady in the States, who had been on it like 10 years without one single break, and I tried to encourage her to take a little break, see how she goes, but nope, was obviously dependant.

    • NickOliver
      NickOliver boing333

      Posted

      I don't think it is right for anyone of us to applaud a particular approach by other members. I would support Rubes in her desisting from medication but equally if she decided to continue then we should provide support for her in that direction. That is, of course, the behaviour is injurious to life or danagerous eg self-harm.

      Rubes, you can always talk to the Samaritans - in my experience, they are always very good and you don't have to be feeling suicidal for them to listen to you.

      MIND do provide faily cheap counselling but you do have to be referred by a doctor or psychiatrist.

    • boing333
      boing333 rubes25

      Posted

      I would say to you what I said to somebody else on here in that being on medication to get over hurdles in the short term provides more hurdles in the longterm, and you were wise to get off it when you could.

      Obviously it depends on the severity of your condition/what condition it is you actually have but most of the time, talking will help you more.

    • rubes25
      rubes25 NickOliver

      Posted

      I don't get suicidal. I did when first diagnosed, but not since, so like over 10 years?
    • NickOliver
      NickOliver boing333

      Posted

      I would say to you what I said to Rubes- what right do you have to advise someone not to take medication carte blanche. We are all in favour of unnecessary taking of meds but what are your qualifiications and experience that permits you to give another such advice when you don't know them, don't know what their real problems are - need I go on.
    • NickOliver
      NickOliver rubes25

      Posted

      I am sorry, Rubes, but you imitially that youhad never had a diagnosis.
    • boing333
      boing333 NickOliver

      Posted

      My experiences are really none of your business unless you wish to discuss them with me in private.

      Rest assured my advice comes from a very real place and I wouldn't give anybody any advice unless I felt it was either 1. helpful, or 2. necessary. What I say is given on face value relating to what Rubes has said in her initial topic of discussion and also what has been said over the course of the discussion of what I feel is appopriate.

      In conclusion, if a person feels they do not need medication, or have been given medication but aren't aware of the longterm dangers, it is appropriate to discuss them and provide them with another path of thought to either follow or not. This is something that doctors do not often give. Those with experiences can.

    • NickOliver
      NickOliver boing333

      Posted

      Well, actually if you are given experience I think that we should know what are qualifications for doing this.

      I don't think that you have the right to give conditional advice ie telling them to do a specific action. The implication is that the person doesn't take your advice you will hold them in disdain.

      I would say again that if you are qualified to be acting in such a way is unethical.

      And if you are not qualified, it is wrong. 

    • boing333
      boing333 NickOliver

      Posted

      The option is there for them. It's an alternative path. I don't hold anybody in disdain for making an independant decision, but it's a decision to be made after they are made aware of the full implications of taking psychiatric medication and the long struggle they face when often given a temporary fix whilst the services become available to help them cope without medication (bearing in mind the severity of their condition), only to become a long term solution when the services often don't become available.

      Effectively, you're walking around with a crutch on waiting for somebody to help you walk again only to finally get to that person and find that you can't imagine a life without the crutch. That's one of the dangers of taking medication and people should be made aware of it before they are given it. In Rubes' case, she's a victim of that, as am I, as I'm sure a lot of people on here are hence why you see stories of 30 year olds who started at 15 having problems and are still unable to live an active and fulfilling life.

    • NickOliver
      NickOliver rubes25

      Posted

      With OCD, anxiety and depression. What treatment were you given.

      And have you got better since then?

      I think that someone else might have said that some of us are more anxious than others.

      What were you like before this?

      What have you found helped?

    • rubes25
      rubes25 NickOliver

      Posted

      I was sent to a child shrink who took £200 an hour, didn't speak, i didn't speak to him, and he gave me medicine.

      he was, apparently, the best. The very best.

      my first Dr patronized me, made me feel stupid, but i got my mum to switch Drs and we did some talking therapy but it didn't work. Ive looked into herbals but its too expensive.

    • NickOliver
      NickOliver rubes25

      Posted

      But that was when you were a child? What about more recently? And why didn't you or your mother go to the NHS? Wre you also unhappy with the NHS? I recently heard somone I know talk about his anger with the NHS. It became apparent that the only time that he was in contact with the NHS was when it was an emergency. As he was not a patient of the hospital (he never hung around, don't ask - I don't know) they didn't know about him.

      My point being that if you switch from one doctor to another in the private sector there is no consistency of treatment.

    • boing333
      boing333 NickOliver

      Posted

      "My point being that if you switch from one doctor to another in the private sector there is no consistency of treatment."

      What constitutes as consistency of treatment within the NHS? The ability to see the same counsellor a month later? The ability to see a counsellor, make an appointment only to be told that counsellor has moved on? Or to make frequent contact with a locum psychiatrist?

      Services used to exist that simply do not any more. They say in the service that once you are in, you get seen much quicker than when you aren't, but how many people are actually available to you at your disposal, when you go to GP as your first step?

      That's not consistency of care; that's facing the risk of negligence by passing care into the hands of whoever is available rather than who is the most qualified.

      I don't knock the NHS for a second. They are just working with what is given to them, which is not a lot.

    • rubes25
      rubes25 NickOliver

      Posted

      Sorry, i again didn't clarify. The shrink was private, the patronizing Dr nhs, and the dr i switched to who dealt with me until last yr when i moved was also nhs.

      ive noticed help improved the older i got. Possibly because people were getting more aware of it.

    • rubes25
      rubes25 boing333

      Posted

      A bi polar should get consistency of care, even their own social worker sometimes, their own dr who they see every appointment.

      i have a GP, but any other services ive been offered weren't consistent. The surgery even got rid of their counsellor.

      we have to ring up at 8am, and within two hrs we get a call back. If were lucky, they make us an appointment for 4pm.

      i would say more needs to be done for the nhs.

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