Does my mum hate me?

Posted , 11 users are following.

I'm really new to this but i didn't really know where else to turn. Basically i think i might have depresson but i don't know who to turn to. i don't know how to tell my parents because i know my mum won't understand, she often tells me i'm being silly about things and when i tell her honestly how i feel (that i am worthless and the world would be better off without me) she says i am over reacting.

Nothing i do is ever good enough and she makes me feel guilty that i don't work hard enough at things or do enough clubs. I want to but i find it hard to focus on words when i'm reading or writting essays and i have no enthusiasm for clubs or anything i used to enjoy. i argue loads with my mum and i just feel really trapped and like i want to run away when i see her and this morning she was shouting at me for doing the wrong revision (she said i should have been doing a different subject) and i slammed my door in her face i've never done this before as i am generally calm and definately respectful towards my parents but she made me feel really agitated and i just couldn't deal anymore! She won't listen to anything i say when i beg with her that what she's doing is wrong, she thinks because she's my parent i'm always the one that's wrong! I aways end up self-harming after an argument and i think about suicide a lot, i don't know maybe that's normal in girls my age because of hormones, i'm 17??

thank you for any help in advance smile

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  • Posted

    I'm sure she doesn't hate you,It seems you are both hormonal, you with teenage hormones & her menopausal with can make us irritable. Do you have someone else you can talk to, an aunt or family friend? When you have tried to talk to her have you been upset? It may be better to try on a day you feel a bit better & ask her to sit down with you for a proper talk. I think she will be horrified to think that you feel she hates you. Hopefully if you can make her understand that you feel so low & unsupported she will help you through this, another idea is to write everything down & show it to her, asking her to read the whole letter before commenting. Please don't hurt yourself, I'm sure there is a solution. Good luck
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  • Posted

    tell ur mum and fanily dont keep it inside itll fet worse and ur famy eont hate u theyll be glad u tolf them and feel lime u trust them itll hurt them more if u keep it from them for a long time. as theyll feel u dont trust them but theyll defo wont hate u hust b glad u told them n help u throufhout I madr the mistake of not tekking noone abd it made me tkteb times worsr so vest to tell people u know and trust and theyll akways be there for u my mum cried coz I kept it from her for 5 years I td her when I was 20. and it jilled me knowing she wa upset that I didnt te her so best tellin themso they cab help u dont bortle it up from tjem closest to u asull end up pushing them away
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  • Posted

    Thank you for the advice
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  • Posted

    Let us know how you get on, thinking of you
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  • Posted

    giod luck jyst remember theyll kove u no natter what x
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  • Posted

    I suggest you go to your GP first. Then you will know if you are suffering from depression. If so you will need medication to help you with the depression and that in turn will help you to deal with your family problem.

    You need to stand up to your mum, but in a nice firm way not confrontational. Put your points forward clearly showing that you care but you want to arrive at an understanding. It is always difficult for a teenager as there is a huge social gap between the two of you. Your mum is thinking about the times when she was your age while you cannot know or understand how different the two of you are.

    Bringing in other relations can be risky unless it is someone your mum really gets on well with, because taking sides is always fraught. The best way forward is to try to keep it between you and your mum to start with. try to find a time when only the two of you are present, make a cup of tea and sit down for chat. Start by telling her how badly she makes you feel and you want to know what she expects you to do and why. That why is important because that is the focal point around which you can chat. Do not be afraid to say what you dislike or cannot do. Most essential try to keep calm; raising voices will not help; if your mum can see that you are determined to talk it through and without rancour then that should make her think about you as a distinct person and not an awkward teenager.

    Practice on the quiet what you want to say. Also practice talking deep breaths which helps to keep you calm. You need to be strong but steady. If you mum starts to rant just stay calm, wait until she finishes before you speak again. Tell her what you feel deep inside. It may help you to prepare by writing everything down in the way you would like to speak about it. That will help you to concentrate and think about your concerns and form firm ideas to bring out in conversation. Above all you should be calm as that is the key to your mum noticing and taking in what you say.

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  • Posted

    I spoke to my mum and she won't take the depression thing seriously, but she is trying to be nicer to me about other things so I guess it was a good thing to dk smile thank you for all of your support smile
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  • Posted

    I'm glad you spoke to her, I wonder why she won't take the depression seriously?! Hopefully you will feel happier if things are better at home, take care of yourself
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  • Posted

    She says its normal to feel like this but I don't think suicidal thoughts or self harming are normal. She says it might be lack of sleep and maybe it is as I have had trouble staying asleep recently and often wake up in the night and can't get back to sleep, i've also felt lonely because I haven't really felt like seeing my friends even to do nice things really, just because I've been feeling a bit down I think sad i just feel trapped.
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  • Posted

    Have you thought about seeing your doctor? If they diagnose depression your mum will have to take it seriously
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  • Posted

    Yeah but I would want to go with my parents I don't want to go on my own sad
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  • Posted

    Good idea, leave it a couple of days maybe & try your mum again
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  • Posted

    Will do thank you smile
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  • Posted

    No one can fully understand what you are going through if they have never suffered with depression. I am a parent of a teenage boy who told me 3 months ago he is depressed, I have suffered with depression so I now. My husband has never and his initial reaction was to say to me probably his age/hormones ect. I felt awlful because I didnt have a clue, he has always been a very happy boy and he told me that he hides it really well. Sometimes it is easier to write things down, could you write it down for your mum and tell her that you need her support and you would like her to come with you to the gp?. Well done to you for wanting to get some help it can be very difficult admitting you have depression. I have only just been able to convince my son to see gp, he is very reluctant to speak about it. Your mum really needs to try and understand depression, maybe a leaflet will help, young minds have a website that is very useful. Good luck, I wish you well x
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  • Posted

    Thank you, it was nice to hear it from a parents perspective. I guess its hard for me to see how my mum feels just how I felt so thank you smile
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