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Don't know where to go from here

Posted , 5 users are following.

domdomz
domdomz

things just don't seem to be getting any better I can feel myself becoming detached from the world my family and my partner and friends all I do is sit in my room alone coz I can't face anyone and all I do is cry :-( had my tablets changed which I start tomorrow which I'm very anxious about.. I'm so scared of what my future holds if I can not get better.. I have everything to look forward too getting married getting my own place and everything is there for the taking but I can not seem to get myself out this rut and get myself back to work the thought terrifies me ! Really don't know what to do .......

3 likes, 46 replies

46 Replies

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  • annie76135
    annie76135 domdomz

    Posted

    Just wondering how you are getting on. Depression is an awful thing. It silently creeps up on you and then takes over. I am struggling too at the moment. It is important to stay hopeful. We will get better.
    • domdomz
      domdomz annie76135

      Posted

      Hi Annie thank u for your comment I am not doing too bad today have my cbt starting tomorrow so am hoping that will help . It defo is I don't think I have ever been this low before I have had the anxiety before but never the depression not this bad anyway . On new meds this week so hoping they will help just knocking me for six .. Hope u feel better soon x
    • annie76135
      annie76135 domdomz

      Posted

      Let us know how you get on with cbt tomorrow. My last depressive episode lasted about 5 months and then it lifted. I have then gone on to enjoy 4 very social and happy years with my lovely husband. And then 2 months ago it struck again!!! Luckily for me I am not working at the moment as I don't think I would be able to cope. I am finding it very hard to sleep at night and get out of bed in the morning and also do chores like ironing and cooking. Everything at the moment seems hard work and effort. But it is important that we be kind to ourselves and stay hopeful that we will get better. And what a glorious day that will be. It is a beautiful world out there but at the moment I prefer my own company. At least on this forum everyone understands. Have a goodish afternoon. 
    • domdomz
      domdomz annie76135

      Posted

      Ok I will do :-) it's scary to think it's always going to be there just waiting to attack ... I wish I didn't have to worry about work I'm at that stage of getting married getting my own place and it has all had to take a back step for a min until I feel better just hope it don't take too long ! I think mine started as I got diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and diabetes then my nan passed away after a very stressful years looking after her just so much happened in so little time and I just crumbled .. Thank u xx
    • annie76135
      annie76135 domdomz

      Posted

      Yes my depression occurred again following illness in the family. It does lift and it is so important to stay hopeful. I am lucky I that I have a lovely home and a supportive husband who just wants me happy again.  When you feel blue it is hard to stay focused on anything so planning a wedding would be tricky. Planning Christmas seems an impossible task!! But just be patient these feelings do pass. Remember it is the depression causing the lethargy. And believe me the depression will lift as quietly as it came. When do you have to go back to work? 
    • domdomz
      domdomz annie76135

      Posted

      I so can't wait till I have a nice home living with my mum is great but just need my independents now. My partner is also great bless him doesn't out any pressure on me .. I am due back after Xmas and new year so have about 5 weeks to get myself better with the cbt but I have been off since August so it's been a long term thing . Just so scared to face everyone at work feel they won't understand and coz I struggle being around loads of people I'm scared I won't cope . I work in a hospital so u have to happy around the patents but not easy when u feel so rubbish :-( xx
    • annie76135
      annie76135 domdomz

      Posted

      Try not to think about how you will feel on your return to work yet because you have many weeks ahead of you to get better and stronger. Incidentally i returned to work 4 years ago after being off for 5 months with depression. I had the same anxieties as you but because I was in a better place I was able to cope. And actually being back in the working world I found helpful. Anyway for now put thoughts of work out of your mind and just let yourself with the support of your family and fiancé to heal and get better. It will happen and you will come out of it a much stronger person with bags more empathy. Be kind and gentle on yourself. My husband and I did lots of walking during my depression and that was really uplifting for the soul. I have enjoyed our chats this afternoon. You sound like a lovely and caring person and I wish you all the best x take good care of yourself x
    • domdomz
      domdomz annie76135

      Posted

      I will try :-) thank u :-) and u too .. Been nice chatting take care xx
  • annie76135
    annie76135 domdomz

    Posted

    Hi hope you are feeling a little stronger today. Hope the cbt goes well today xx
    • domdomz
      domdomz annie76135

      Posted

      Thank u Annie really very anxious about leaving the house on my own :-/  had a really upset tummy which isn't helping ! Just can't wait for it to be over so I can come home thank u for thinking of me xx
    • annie76135
      annie76135 domdomz

      Posted

      Yes I know that feeling I now feel a little anxious when I leave the house on my own. Try to relax as best you can. Everything becomes ja little harder when you are depressed. But it won't always be like this. Let us know how it goes xx
  • annie76135
    annie76135 domdomz

    Posted

    How did you get on yesterday. It's quite a big thing leaving the house and going for cbt when you are under par. Hope you are ok. Xx
    • domdomz
      domdomz annie76135

      Posted

      Hi Annie yes is wasn't too bad had a bit of a job getting myself in the building as couldn't catch my breath cried a bit during too which made it difficult to talk . He was just doing another bloody assessment so no cbt yet and got to wait till 16th to see him again so looks like I'm not gona get much help anytime soon which is a little soul distorying when I am feel so low . Feeling very groggy at mo coz of these tablets think I'm gona have to maybe come off then . But apart from all that I'm ok just trying to pop around the house doing some house work and trying not to think too much . Hope u r well xxxx
    • annie76135
      annie76135 domdomz

      Posted

      Yes depression is no quick fix. I feel Okish today. Like you staying at home and doing housework. It is hard to believe that months ago I was holding down a full time job. Now everything I do takes so much effort. I will be glad when the depression lifts. Must start going out again but at the moment I am happier at home and look forward to my hubby returning home from work in the afternoon. Have a more peaceful day today xx
    • domdomz
      domdomz annie76135

      Posted

      Yea I'm the same it's mad isn't it .. Just gota hope things will get better and I will b able to go back to work I miss everyone and having something to get up for u would think that would b more then enough to get me back there but don't seem to be .. Hope u have a good day too :-) xxx
    • annie76135
      annie76135 domdomz

      Posted

      Believe me when you are better you will feel ready to go back to work, at the moment you are still healing. And  from my own experience work is good because it gives structure to your day and it makes you feel part of the world again. As for me I made the decision to leave my work in the summer when I was well so I have no work to return to. At best I could find another job when I feel well which I will probably do. Too many hours to fill at home when you feel under par. Going to my mums this afternoon for a coffee. Do think it is important to get out and about however difficult it might be. Have a good day  xx
    • domdomz
      domdomz annie76135

      Posted

      Yea totally agree I feel a little better just doing stuff home here :-) hope u have a nice time at ta mums .take care talk soon xx
    • annie76135
      annie76135 domdomz

      Posted

      How are you doing? I have not felt great today. Shopping was a chore that I could have done without. Rushed around and forgotten loads of things so I will have to go again tomorrow. Hubby trying his hardest to get me in the festive mood and put up the Christmas tree last night. Just feel I could do without it all at the moment. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day. Hope things are improving for you xx
    • domdomz
      domdomz annie76135

      Posted

      Hi Annie sorry to hear u have had a funny day.. I also got dragged to town to do some Xmas shopping by a work friend really didn't wanna go but it was actually ok had a nice time some lunch and a lovely hot chocolate with all the trimming :-) and got talked in to a pic with Santa ha ha which was amusing ..

      things had been  a little easier for me this last few days think these new tablets are doing something as seem to b able to force myself to do stuff although not sure I could handle work yet. Xmas is difficult when u feel down isn't it I'm finding it very hard feel like I just wanna cancel it.. 

      I really hope u have a better day tomorrow and always about if u wanted a chat just drop me a message ..bet your Xmas tree looks lovely :-) xxx

    • annie76135
      annie76135 domdomz

      Posted

      Hi although you do not feel like work at the moment it will still be there for you when you are stronger. I found that going back to work after a long period of depression helped to get me back in the real world. You will also find that your work friends will be very supportive. And what a good start going shopping  with a work friend. Glad the tablets are starting to work. And yes my tree looks lovely especially at night time with the lights on. Keep strong xx
    • domdomz
      domdomz annie76135

      Posted

      Yea I'm hoping so I think I am just worried about not feeling right last time I was there I felt really strange like I was in a bubble I think they call it depersonalisation and still get that a lot .. Glad u like your tree think we r gona do ours later today :-) trying to get in the Xmas spirt .. Hope u are feeling ok xxx thank u for your message xx
    • annie76135
      annie76135 domdomz

      Posted

      Try not to think about work too much. You are still in recovery at the moment and rest and relaxation are very Important. Yes I have felt like that before - in a bubble - and it is not a nice feeling but it will pass. Having a much better day today, slept better and feel a lot brighter. Now to face the ironing. Going out tomorrow afternoon for a coffee with my mum so that will be nice. Enjoy putting up the tree. Take good care of yourself and the loved ones around you xx we so need family and good friends xx
    • domdomz
      domdomz annie76135

      Posted

      Thank u Annie I think I keep forgetting that this take time. I worry if I stop thinking bout it it will come on worse silly really isn't it ...

      i will try :-) normally love doing the tree but this year it's so hard ! xx hope u r ok xx

    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate domdomz

      Posted

      DomDomZ I have read thru quite a lot of this and just wonder if you could get one to one counselling. I went to see a Personal Well Being Practioner, and they deal with things like stress, and mild depression, but she referred me to one to one counselling ( level 3 ) to dicuss all the problem I am having in my life that are causing my depression. After that she is then going to take me thru dealing with stress and reducuing it, and to be quite blunt she said i need to become a little more selfish. And not put other first all the time and give me some time to repair my own mental wounds
    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate

      Posted

      I also got told to look at the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy website I can Private email the address to you if  you want. But its what all the NHS counsellor refer to 
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