1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Alcohol Consumption

Drinking every day...

Posted , 75 users are following.

peter97822
peter97822

Hello. I've just signed up here because I thought it might help to acknowledge somewhere, in some small way, that I have a problem with alcohol. And maybe compare notes with other people and their experiences. I'm not ready to tell friends and family yet. I'm in my late 30s and for a long time (4 years) I have been drinking something every day (with very occasional alcohol free spells) - it varies between 2-6 cans each night. Always just in the evening. The daily amount I consume isn't enormous - but over time it's become a seemingly unbreakable habit, and of course I worry about the long term health effects. I've got used to waking up with a woolly head or a hangover. My mind has an incredible duality - every morning I resolve to stop but by the evening I crave it all over again. I get so frustrated with my lack of self control. It's not social drinking - I live alone and most of my drinking is done alone. Often I'll even find myself turning down social invitations because drinking alone in my flat seems so much more pleasurable (I'm a shy and very socially anxious chap). On my own there's no-one to raise an eyebrow, or suggest that I've had enough. It's like the ultimate love/hate thing. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can de-stress me quite like alcohol - but I also know this effect is temporary and that my stress will often come back worse in the morning. I'm concerned about quitting altogether because then my friends will want to know why - and I'll have to admit that there was a problem. It feels shameful somehow. I feel my relationship with alcohol is very different to that of other people; for example I'm always amazed when I see people with half drunk bottles of wine in the fridge. If I ever have any alcohol in the house with me it gets drunk that same day! Anyway, I'm going to try and quit, starting today. I'll let you know how I get on : )

10 likes, 182 replies

182 Replies

Prev Next
  • troy92724
    troy92724 peter97822

    Posted

    Have you had any luck? Any tips? Sounds like me almost to an exact. I dont have hangovers or withdrawals, mine is just the craving at night and the routine
    • ADEfree
      ADEfree troy92724

      Posted

      If you're down around the six-can level you might be able to knock it out with AA or something secular like SMARTRecovery's 4-point program, or maybe some private sessions with an addiction specialist and end up being good with that. If you've tried that and keep returning to the drink, you might be better off combining your efforts with something to blunt the cravings. 

      There are certainly meds to help you with that. Pair it up with a bit of social support and habit management/mindfulness tools and the craving will become quieter and quieter. The link I posted to Peter just above enjoys an 80% success rate (it's the one I use), but there are other meds to choose from too. It's getting the craving under control that will amplify your efforts along the line and make the relapses a thing of the past. 

      There's a book mentioned in the post at the bottom here:

      https://patient.info/forums/discuss/useful-resources-487627

      The author lays out the basic problem that drives the relapse-go-round and goes over the various meds that can help give you the upper hand. There's something for everyone who want's alch off their back, Troy. No need to face the cravings with white knuckles anymore. 

      There's also The Cure for Alcoholism by Drs. Sinclair and Eskapa, I can get you a free PDF copy of that if you'd like. If you prefer something you can hold in your hand, the paper version is available on Amazon. 

      Well, there you go, that's what I know. If you're so inclined, feel free to start your own topic and I'm sure people will pile in with support and ideas!

      Look forward to hearing from you again!

    • troy92724
      troy92724 ADEfree

      Posted

      Thank you for all of the helpful advise! That is my current struggle. I dont think about it or even look forward to it but when night time hits i crave it and desire it so i wasnt sure if it was an actual addiction or craving issue or maybe even both. Its like I know I will be fine without it but I want it at that same time you know? I will definitely read the forums and journal links you left and get back. Thank you again!
    • ADEfree
      ADEfree troy92724

      Posted

      You're more than welcome, Troy! Best luck to you!!
    • amy33346
      amy33346 troy92724

      Posted

      Just signed on and wondering hows the craving going?  I have the same exact issue... all day Im like I feel great la la la then bamm evening comes and im grabing the bottle.  Won't be buying any in the next week... should be interesting!

  • amy33346
    amy33346 peter97822

    Posted

    I have read some of these posts and yours rings true to my ears!   Just today I woke up again saying ugh I don't want a fuzzy head in the morning. I am a strong personality for all the other things in my life but when its time to make dinner I pull the wine out and start drinking. A few months back I told myself replace it with tea and I could not have a drink until 8 p.m. Well it worked!  I was very good at this for about 2 weeks then fell right back into my old ways.  I am tired of the extra weight around the waste and even though it may only be 3 glasses of wine a night its still 3 too many on a daily basis.  Today is a new day.  Tonight I am going to a movie to be out of the house (hubby travels a lot so I am alone a lot).  Hopefully this will keep me on track and I look forward to this site for support... it has already made me feel better!!! Thanks

    • Kateleighn
      Kateleighn amy33346

      Posted

      Hi Amy,

      Your post could have been my post.  I'm alone alot too. And I find that being alone, being bored, being depressed, that the wine became, has become what I look forward to most. It's probaby because it alters my mood as all mood altering drugs do.  And I always tell myself, that It only feels good for the first hour, and then I start feeling lousy and wished I didn't drink it.  But  I'm a lot like you. I do it at dinner time, or right before. I had  few days I had a glass of wine at 11:30? who does that? obviously someone with  a drinking problem.  I don't drink all the time, I have stopped and it has become much less frequent down from the every night thing over the past month or so.. it's tapering off, but even though it is tapering off, the urge is still great.  

    • amy33346
      amy33346 Kateleighn

      Posted

      Thanks Kate, today it does feel different since writing what I did earlier. I am not depressed but my sex life and my body are not what they were a few years ago.... I was using menopause as an excuse but recently realized Im not taking control of myself and the wine may be the culprit.  Today is the First day of many I hope : )
    • Kateleighn
      Kateleighn amy33346

      Posted

      yes, it's funny how one day we feel a certain way and then another its like worlds away.  I guess it could always be something we blame it on right? If it's not menopause, its a job, or a relationship.  I guess it boils down to taking one day at a time.  And when feeling the feelings, go through them, and not reach for something to numb them.  Or something that alters what we are feeling to lift  us up, which in turn only brings us down. Its ironic to know all the right things to do, and still sometimes we fall short and pick up that drink.  Just last night I wanted a drink so badly.. Really bad night, but I kept tellling myself, go through these feelings, feel miserable, keep at it.. it will lift. But DON"T go for that drink.. So I'm trying this a new way.. I hate feeling bad feelings, but I think I have to. And I am not even a real heavy drinker, two -3 glasses of wine (small glasses), I am lit.  Thank God, I guess. But still for me its too much. One glass is too much. And that is why I know I have a problem, plus alcoholism is in my family. So I need to be ever vigilante.

      We are all just here to support each other!!!!

    • amy33346
      amy33346 Kateleighn

      Posted

      DITTO THE ABOVE KATE!  now off to walk the dogs and clear my head.  Have a great weekend..stay STRONG, pat your self on the back when you get thru those negative feelings and remember:  Love yourself flaws and all as they say... and thanks for responding!
    • Kateleighn
      Kateleighn amy33346

      Posted

      Thanks Amy, enjoy your walk with the dog. 

      Stay focused, stay strong and stay connected.

       

  • peter97822
    peter97822

    Posted

    Another update from me.... Thanks for all the advice so far, and I'm pleased that this thread has engaged with quite a few people. I may not post here often but I'm so pleased to be part of this little community of supportive people. Thank you. x

    I've been about a month sober now... got to start somewhere! It's a bit like a rocket taking off into orbit - you need a huge amount of thrust and energy to leave the gravitational pull, but eventually you feel a bit freer and you can float. As ever those first two weeks were the toughest, and now (at the risk of sounding complacent) it feels a bit easier.

    A few weeks ago I really did feel like my life had started to spiral out of control. Now I feel I'm getting it back and I can confirm what I've always kind of known -LIFE IS BETTER WITHOUT ALCOHOL. For me anyway. The temporary buzz of wine is a mind trick, fact.

    I was interested by what you said, Misssy2, about going to AA - you recognised some of my phrasing but in fact I've never been, it's just a coincidence. Yet I guess it confirms that AA would probably be a good and supportive place for me if I ever needed it.

    A few weeks ago (when I was trying to quit again) I had a dinner party at my flat - something I've not done for years. I bought wine several days before and had no difficulty with keeping it around and not drinking it.

    On the actual day, though, I had one of those tiny bottles of red to use in the cooking. I poured most of it in but there was just one mouthful left and I drank it. Just one mouthful, but it temporarily unleashed that age-old feeling inside me. I spent the rest of the night fixated on alcohol, and how much I wanted more. Enviously eyeing everyone elses glasses. At the end of the evening, there was a bottle of wine left unopened in the fridge. Despite the fact it was midnight, I KNEW with absolute certainty that as soon as my guests went home I would greedily open it and drink the whole thing. So I asked one of the guests to take it away with them as a gift.

    It was a little victory, but it also reminded me how strong the pull towards drinking is. One mouthful of wine changed my entire mindset and nearly sent me back to drinking. Which is why total sobriety is, for me at least, the only real answer.

    • peter97822
      peter97822

      Posted

      I didn't explain the dinner party thing properly - I meant to say I bought wine for the other guests, not myself!

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 peter97822

      Posted

      WOW

       I thought you were going to say you drank the whole bottle after they left! That is a HUGE victory...smile I would also buy alcohol for others...I ENJOY going in the liquor store SOBER because it just feels good to wait in line..without wanting to hurt the person in front of me for taking to long cause I have the "shakes". It just feels good to have a smile on my face in there...instead of being a mess in my pajamas....on and on. Peter...keep it up....I am going to try as well....its not easy. Yes, give AA a try...it is not perfect....but it is a solution that has worked for many over the years.   I personally have not gone back for 2 reasons....my sponser died....and I just try to escape thinking about that.  I had her for 10 years...even thou I was sober for only 8 of that...she stood by me the whole time.  She had an awful disease that took her...and she never drank when diagnosed. I asked her if she was CRAZY??  If I get diagnosed with a terminal illness...I told her...IM DRINKING.  She never did. The other reason I haven't gone back is my pride....my looks...I'm sure in the last 2 years my looks have changed drastically and that is stopping me.  Although, I MAY go back one day....I'm just not ready...but it DID save my life 10 years ago...and changed my life...my way of thinking...etc. I had to put up with the "God" stuff....I believe in GOD...but it irritated me that they preached so much. 

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2

      Posted

      FUNGO.....I split all the paragraphs...and apparently this site has its own mind.
    • peter97822
      peter97822 Misssy2

      Posted

      Thanks Misssy. I'm sorry to hear about your sponsor.

      Yes, I think the God stuff would also distract me from AA - but maybe I could focus less on that side of it.

      I'm wishing you the very best too. You deserve happiness.

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 peter97822

      Posted

      That is exactly what me and my friend in AA did...just joke about whoever was pushing God that day.

      They say from every meeting...you get ONE thing (at least) that you needed to hear.  I found that to be true for the 6 years I went...and that is why I went....FOR healing.

      Thank you and I wish you luck as well.

    • ADEfree
      ADEfree peter97822

      Posted

      If you're shooting for abstinence, there are other resources aside from AA, like SMARTRecovery (which is science / CBT based). They have some local meetings, but mostly a big online community. 

      If you can manage with straight abstinence, perhaps with some social support like AA, SMART, secular 12-step and non-12 step programs, that's a good way to go. Plenty of resources there. About 10% of those with Alcohol Use Disorder can do that and make it stick for 4 years.

      The remainder seem to be driven to drink by a neurological cause that largely overrides conscious control, as it's based in and unconscious part of the brain and operates independently of willpower, logic or reason. Medially Assisted Treatment (MAT) seems to work better for these folks and has an overall success rate in excess of 80%. I think it's safe to say that if you want to be in command of the drink, there's virtually a 100% chance that you can do so (between traditional and MAT methods). 

      Naltrexone / Nalmefene (taken only on drinking days) works well for this and is able to access the unconscious neural pathways responsible for the compulsion that seems to override conscious desire to control/quit drinking. It breaks the connection between the pleasure you feel from drinking and the unconscious memory of that pleasure, such that one becomes neutral about the thought of alcohol. 

      Let me know if you'd like to know more about that. 

Back to top
Prev Next

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.