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Drinking every day...

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peter97822
peter97822

Hello. I've just signed up here because I thought it might help to acknowledge somewhere, in some small way, that I have a problem with alcohol. And maybe compare notes with other people and their experiences. I'm not ready to tell friends and family yet. I'm in my late 30s and for a long time (4 years) I have been drinking something every day (with very occasional alcohol free spells) - it varies between 2-6 cans each night. Always just in the evening. The daily amount I consume isn't enormous - but over time it's become a seemingly unbreakable habit, and of course I worry about the long term health effects. I've got used to waking up with a woolly head or a hangover. My mind has an incredible duality - every morning I resolve to stop but by the evening I crave it all over again. I get so frustrated with my lack of self control. It's not social drinking - I live alone and most of my drinking is done alone. Often I'll even find myself turning down social invitations because drinking alone in my flat seems so much more pleasurable (I'm a shy and very socially anxious chap). On my own there's no-one to raise an eyebrow, or suggest that I've had enough. It's like the ultimate love/hate thing. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can de-stress me quite like alcohol - but I also know this effect is temporary and that my stress will often come back worse in the morning. I'm concerned about quitting altogether because then my friends will want to know why - and I'll have to admit that there was a problem. It feels shameful somehow. I feel my relationship with alcohol is very different to that of other people; for example I'm always amazed when I see people with half drunk bottles of wine in the fridge. If I ever have any alcohol in the house with me it gets drunk that same day! Anyway, I'm going to try and quit, starting today. I'll let you know how I get on : )

10 likes, 182 replies

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  • healthyone23
    healthyone23 peter97822

    Posted

    Hi - you sound a lot like me. I'm not shy, but I do (mostly) all my drinking alone at home when I also smoke cigarettes, but outside as there's a no smoking rule in the house. Even it it's minus several degrees in winter I'll be out there sitting on the back step smoking and drinking and even in the rain. Sometimes when I go and see friends, I leave earlier and go to a pub on my own so I can smoke and drink in the garden before meeting them. Like you, I can't imagine having an open bottle of wine in my fridge and not polishing it off the same day. I also resolve to stop all the time, and then rush home from work to start drinking again. I've also got used to waking up with a woolly head but it's amazing how fast that can go. I drink on average a bottle of wine a night and maybe a couple of spirits on top; sometimes at the weekend two bottles of wine in one day. I also play a lot of sport and exercise. Not a lot of people talk about the sporty alcoholic. Good luck with your quitting. Maybe try and think of it as just a habit you slipped into, so not such a big deal to slip out of it either.
    • peter97822
      peter97822 healthyone23

      Posted

      Hi. Yes it sounds like there are a lot of similarities. I used to meet friends down the pub, have a couple of half pints (so they'd think I was a mild drinker) then rush off home and do my serious drinking alone. That's why they all think I'm a bit bonkers now for saying I had to quit! - I hid it so well. These days, since going sober, the weird thing (which I didn't expect) is that I'm overcoming my shyness a bit and doing some more social type stuff. Alcohol didn't really help me socialise, and in fact more often than not it gave me a reason to hide away, to hibernate alone with a hobby that no-one else could ever be allowed to discover. Now I feel I've got less to hide, and also that I have more control over how social stuff will play out for me. How are things for you - are you quitting or cutting down? Hope it goes well for you. Life can be better without booze.
  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 peter97822

    Posted

    I think it is really harder for a guy to be around friends and "not" drink...than for a woman.

    I am 51 years old.  I am a REAL alcoholic.  You are exhibiting the behaviors I did in my 30s....needed the beer at night.  I promise you this illness gets progressively worse.  My last drink 4 weeks ago...I was in hospital with 7 IV bags...4 day hosital stay...2 seizures...heart monitors....and 1-2 days away from dying.

    I started like you is my point....and as the years progressed...my drinking became progressively worse.  I would have periods of sobriety...and then right back and everytime I went back to drinking I drank more and more....then the morning drinks started on the weekends.....and then drinking ALL day.

    As far as your friends...if you are READY to quit....tell them you are on a medication that you can not drink on or you will have seizures....Actually the sad thing is...the best thing if your really ready to stop...is to avoid situations that involve drinking....until you feel strong enough and confident that you will not drink...that is usually about 6 months.

    Before I went in hospital 4 weeks ago....I had 8 years sober at one time (then I drank for the last 2 years).....My drinking picked up right where I left off 10 years ago...and seriously got worse.....Alcoholism always gets worse and never better.....

    I thought after 8 years I could have a drink and NO...I can never drink...my next progression will be death.  As I see it your next progression will be...starting to drink more and more in the evenings...and then it carrying at some point...maybe a year or two to the weekend mornings/early afternoons...hangovers get worse.

    Self esteem gets worse...health and looks get worse.

    You are worth it...living a healthy life....I wish you the best.

  • fep906
    fep906 peter97822

    Posted

    Peter, you sound in the same situation I'm in. ALone, recently divorced, 100's of miles from family, and I re-awakened a sleeping monster after 16 yrs sobriety. DDrink a qt of straight vodka a day, and afraid of going thru a day of a hangover, so I just keep buying it. I limit how much I drink (even though 2 pints of vodka a day is alot), buy not buying any more than that on any given day, or I'll drink myself into a blackout. I want to stop this cycle, and sometimes cry when I know I'm going to buy it again. I know AA can help, but just can't get myself there. Its like if I go out, and don't come home with vodka, I feel sad. I feel happy once I begin drinking, then sad again the next morning feeling like crap. This has been going on now for 2 weeks straight. Gotta be a way to mentall break this cycle into hell.
    • disasterrific
      disasterrific fep906

      Posted

      Don't give up fighting. I'm in a similar situation where my boyfriend drinks. He hides a lot of his drinking but I know how much he really consumes. I try to be supportive (i have my own issues) but sometimes it feels like it's for nothing. We were doing good for a bit but now he's back on the wagon and I am so horrified about his health, mentally and physically. I want to help him but I want him to help himself. I know how difficult it can be to quit. Im really interested in hearing how things are going and other people's stories. Thanks for sharing and good luck!!!
    • fep906
      fep906 disasterrific

      Posted

      I had been sober for 16 yrs, and married from 1992 to 2014.  I lost my wife, son, house, lifestyle, and 2 yrs of freedom for a stupid 5 second act while drunk, and scared my wife and son. (no contact though).I'm now on my own at 56, divorced, lonely, and drinking again.  I reawakened a sleeping monster.  Whats it gonna take.  I remember hiding pint bottles of vodka around the house and waking up to my wife next to the bed, angry, with her arms folded, tappin her foot, and red in the face.  I put her thru so much and wish I could take it back.  I understand what you're going thru.
    • disasterrific
      disasterrific fep906

      Posted

      I understand what you mean. I recently blacked out drunk because I thought I could enjoy myself after slaving away all month at work and dealing with the stress of the holiday. That couple of moments where i blacked out severely altered that of my own, my boyfriends, my family's. Everything. Part of the pain is wishing I hadnt had thrown back the drinks so quickly. Everything is different now.
  • ashley09357
    ashley09357 peter97822

    Posted

    Hey. I hope your doing well. I am 28 years old and drink occasionally. I go up and down.. I've quit for months then drink one or two beers.. Then not drunk for a couple days and have a couple more another night.... But I notice a pattern with myself... I get wasted when I get bored.. Then I have to drink the next day to feel better... It's effecting my work environment, my relationships around me... Just I don't know. Sobriety is beautiful.. I'm going to kill myself and feeling this way is not okay. Today I had five beers just to try to feel normal because I was so hung over from last night. Good luck. Your feeling better than I am right now I'm sure
  • Gaitsu
    Gaitsu peter97822

    Posted

    Hello all, I am writing this message to ask if every/any one would like to share how they have been progressing. I have been reading and have become inspired by all of your strides to make your lives better. My girlfriend and I have been drinking almost everyday for 7 or so months, and it's quite hard to quit. I do not know of her past with alcohol, but I do know I've had quite an issue, a lot of close calls, potentially dangerous. At least one thing in everyone's life relate to my experience. I believe I may be one who should never drink. My father drinks, and has also told me drinking is not something anyone should do if they do not know for a Fact it will never be an issue. I am in my mid twenties and hope to never touch a drink again.
    • crazyinweston
      crazyinweston Gaitsu

      Posted

      its very hard, especially to "break the habit" - i'd suggest talking to your local doctor over what plans can be put in place, perhaps joining a local addiction charity as well maybe, as they can give you extra help. i have drank every day for 10yrs now, and im being told, going cold turkey is very dangerous, so im glad to hear you realise the problem now rather than 7/8yrs down the line.
    • amy33346
      amy33346 Gaitsu

      Posted

      Im with you on following up and supporting each other!

       

  • marcus92500
    marcus92500 peter97822

    Posted

    Hi im new to this. Been reading through and can relate to alot of what ive seen. Im 25 been drinking heavily since 19, im now ten days sober on avaerage i was drinking atleast 4 pints every night but when i binged i could put away 8 plus, im working out alot and keepin myself busy as possible and feel as im doing really well, but i keep asking myself if i will ever be able to drink again, i never woke up craving or had any serious physical effect. ECG came back fine and liver function is also ok (cery lucky for my previous abuse) i have moved back home for a while to detox. Just wondered if anyone had experienced similair circumstances? If theyve ever drank again? Am i a alcoholic or a problem drinker? Feel lost and isolated as noone around me understands. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated, 😀
    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 marcus92500

      Posted

      congratulations on your 10 days...I just realized..the person that posted this ..did so over a year ago....who knows what happened to Peter...as he has not responded...hopefully he is just living life....

      Most people that are alcoholics...if they start drinking AGAIN...end up drinking just as much or more than before. 

      ​Seeing that you moved back home to detox....it seems you felt you had a significant problem...It takes 21 days to form a new habit....if you are working out and feeling good...I wouldn't let it go if I were you.

      ​you are young and there will be lots of tempation along the way...but there is nothing cooler than being a designated driver!

       

    • marcus92500
      marcus92500 Misssy2

      Posted

      Thanks for your reply. Ill be 12 days in today and have every intention to carry on. I think my main reason was to move home was the drinking but now i am home im wondering if my drinking was through boredom, my partner who ive been with for 7 years can happily just chill infront of the tele and have no conversation. Im not that sort of person so am starting to question wether boredom was more Of a drive to drink, I do drive alot and it does feel good just need to get this drinking buisness sorted once and for all. Would love to speak to someone who is or has been in a similair situation
    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 marcus92500

      Posted

      I DO believe that boredom can seriously lead to drinking.  I have the same problem...I like to be enterained, talked to, not ignored....when I'm being ignored or bored...drinking seems like a good option to fill that hole.

      ​so glad for you that you have almost 2 weeks..without a drink.  So you know one thing ....maybe that relationship is not the healthiest thing for you....not that the other person is BAD....just bad for you and you are away from that environment now...so do the best you can to stay away. 

      Unless..that person is willing to attempt counseling to see if you BOTH can fill each others internal needs in a better manner.

      ​We have all been in similar situations....I have definetly had to move on from relationships because different aspects of them where having me feel like I wanted to drink....since drink will kill me....I need to avoid anything that is going to "drive" me in that direction.

    • marcus92500
      marcus92500 Misssy2

      Posted

      I hear what you are saying and appreciate your help 😀, its quite a difficult situation as we have a young child together and still are in love. Weve talked about it alot and nothing seems to change she is just the opposite of me. Have you ever managed to socially drink without falling off the wagon again? Ive read about your morning drinks thats something ive never done as of yet and hopefully never do (no offence at all) i really miss being drunk with mates and having a laugh but dont want to tempt fate and screw it all up again
    • peter97822
      peter97822 Misssy2

      Posted

      Hello, just noticed you wondered what I was up to since posting this thread over a year ago, so I thought I'd join the discussion again! I managed about 14 months completely sober and lately (last few weeks) have been occasionally drinking again. I wouldn't say I've fully relapsed - I had an initial wobble, followed by about 3 or 4 other occasions where I've given in to temptation. I suppose there'd be theoretically nothing wrong with that, but I feel disappointed and want to try and get back to full sobriety. Why? Well, I think the good news is that my sober year was one of the best in my life so far. I felt a sense of unbelievable optimism (if I can beat the drink, what else can I do?) along with health benefits, reduced anxiety, more money in my pocket etc. I won't pretend it was easy - but it did seem to get easier the more I did it. The first month was really quite tough, the next 2 months were difficult, and then after that I actually succeeded in just kind of getting on with stuff and not thinking about it too much.

      So why have I relapsed if it was so good? Well, I think the human mind can play tricks on you, and eventually if you're not careful you start to come full circle, forget the bad times, and romanticise certain aspects of drinking. I convinced myself that enough time had passed for me to safely return to occasional drinking, and that it would make my life EVEN better and more rounded if I could partake with friends. Sadly, I think that was me lying to myself - already after a few weeks back on it, I can see that the only logical conclusion for my drinking is death. I'm not back to drinking every day yet, but that will happen eventually - I know it. Alcohol is a poison to me, I hate it on a very deep level, and I know my life is better without it. I believe that, for me, total abstinence is really the only way I can ever 'control' alcohol. I hope this doesn't sound preachy in any way - bear in mind I feel like a total hypocrite to even write these words, as it is less than 24 hours since my last drink! Marcus, I think only you can decide if you need to give up completely - but deep down you probably know. Years ago (long before I gave up) I remember a therapist asked me to write a bucket list of things I wished I could change about my world. One of my wishes was that I lived in a world where alcohol didn't even exist. So you see, back then I already knew I needed to remove it. I think you're right that boredom plays a part in drinking. I live alone and, to be honest, an evening of nothingness after a day at work feels very grey as a prospect. I want to jazz it up with a different feeling - an altered state. But those altered states are like a vapour - impossible to hold and grasp and always, always disappointing. Like you say, keeping busy can be good - I got quite obsessed with weight training during my sober year, and I want to get back to it soon. I have to believe that if I did it once I can do it again - and that's really the thing to remember I guess. Every sober day is a victory and, if you should experience setbacks, don't let them drag you down - just keep coming back to the thing you need to focus on. (That's a message to myself mainly!)

    • marcus92500
      marcus92500 peter97822

      Posted

      14 months is a massive effort! Im just over a month in ive had 4 slip ups 3 of which were really heavy. Suppose its to be expected in the early stages. Keeping focused the best i can, not been drinking the day after to cure the hangover but just felt like death, felt much better within myself for not drinking and the days i have ive felt bitterly dissapointed. So all in all i think i can drink again but honestly i dont want to the hangovers the anxiety and depression are killer. Ive got to keep going or like you say peter i honestly believe my drinking will result in death especially with the temptation of cocaine never far away with my 'aquaintances'. I really need to move away but thats a whole different issue
    • marcus92500
      marcus92500 peter97822

      Posted

      Forgot to say. Thanks for your advise its all helpful and can completley relate to the altered state of mind and hanging on to a feeling that is like vapour. Yet we still end up doing it....
    • ADEfree
      ADEfree peter97822

      Posted

      Peter, if you're getting alcohol cravings, you might want to look into The Sinclair Method before your drinking escalates more. Having been abstinent for so long with the attendant practice at habit control that usually goes with the practice of abstinence might well put you on the fast track for victory with this:

      https://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder

      I've read the stories of those who begin this method having been abstinent, but feel they are about to be overcome by the cravings. They typically get control of the situation very quickly by using the above method. 

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 peter97822

      Posted

      Hi smile.  congratulations on your 14 months sober.

      ​It does sound to me like you have been going to AA?  I went to AA for 6 years...and alot of things you say remind me of the program.

      You say:

      Alcohol is a poison for you

      Death is inevitable

      ​You will do it again....(get sober) and I am back on track as well...for now...and i hope it lasts because I do know that it will kill me and almost HAS in the last year at least 2x.

      ​I am older than you by a bit...and it gets tougher to recover physically each time when you are older.  Keep up your positive attitude.  Thank you for checking in with the update.

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