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Drinking every day...

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peter97822
peter97822

Hello. I've just signed up here because I thought it might help to acknowledge somewhere, in some small way, that I have a problem with alcohol. And maybe compare notes with other people and their experiences. I'm not ready to tell friends and family yet. I'm in my late 30s and for a long time (4 years) I have been drinking something every day (with very occasional alcohol free spells) - it varies between 2-6 cans each night. Always just in the evening. The daily amount I consume isn't enormous - but over time it's become a seemingly unbreakable habit, and of course I worry about the long term health effects. I've got used to waking up with a woolly head or a hangover. My mind has an incredible duality - every morning I resolve to stop but by the evening I crave it all over again. I get so frustrated with my lack of self control. It's not social drinking - I live alone and most of my drinking is done alone. Often I'll even find myself turning down social invitations because drinking alone in my flat seems so much more pleasurable (I'm a shy and very socially anxious chap). On my own there's no-one to raise an eyebrow, or suggest that I've had enough. It's like the ultimate love/hate thing. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can de-stress me quite like alcohol - but I also know this effect is temporary and that my stress will often come back worse in the morning. I'm concerned about quitting altogether because then my friends will want to know why - and I'll have to admit that there was a problem. It feels shameful somehow. I feel my relationship with alcohol is very different to that of other people; for example I'm always amazed when I see people with half drunk bottles of wine in the fridge. If I ever have any alcohol in the house with me it gets drunk that same day! Anyway, I'm going to try and quit, starting today. I'll let you know how I get on : )

10 likes, 182 replies

182 Replies

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  • karen36196
    karen36196 peter97822

    Posted

    I'm in my mid forties and haven't drank for 8YEARS I'm struggling at the moment drinking alcohol free wine but then I have to remember how much I lost job marriage home health etc

    • gwen45436
      gwen45436 karen36196

      Posted

      Hi Karen, that is so sad for you to say the least.  8 years is fantastic.  To lose what you have is devastating.  You are young and can reverse this and start again.  You will find massive strength on here.  Since reading and making friends with some lovely people who know far better than my Doctor, I feel much more confident.  I was way over the top drinking  and getting 'wayer' (no such word I know lol).  But after chatting and reading I have cut down loads.  I am continuing to  taper.  Although still drinking, I feel much better in myself.  Not woozy all day or 'can't be bothered' attitude.  Started back with my running and weights and feeling the effects.  And it is because of this site.

      You will find strength here.

  • Dave8119
    Dave8119 peter97822

    Posted

    Hi Peter, 

    I think I'm similar to you, I drink most nights with at most two days break from drinking a week, my drinking varies from half a bottle of wine to four cans a night in the week to half a bottle of 70cl vodka a night on a Friday, I then follow that up with a big drink on Saturday that's usually lager. 

    Whilst I still go to the gym regular I'm aware I'm drinking a lot but am not a level where it's affecting my working life. 

    I'm basically in limbo, am I okay, or am I drinking too much. 

    I go through periods where I think this is a joke, I shouldn't be drinking like this, but then others where I think it's only a few cans, it's no worse than the ten cigs my mate smokes. 

    The biggest pointer for me though is the fact I'm reading and writing on this forum, of  course that means I've got some sort of issue. 

    I'm having a break from drink myself.

    • Dave8119
      Dave8119

      Posted

      I'm still drinking to this level, whilst I drink this much I've currently completed the equivalent of 6 marathons since Feb 16th using running apps. 

      I don't feel unfit anymore and I still drink at a very high level.. 

      Will i hit a brick wall? 

      Will I one day have to visit a doctor who will tell me I have liver damage? 

      How can I run six mile runs and drink daily?

       

    • dena80567
      dena80567 Dave8119

      Posted

      I drink more than 10 liters a week. And most def can't run! Not even down the driveway and back! I really don't know what kind of alcoholic you'd label me cuz I know I can/have done without it. Some days I just want to go numb. Others?????

  • Jucsb
    Jucsb peter97822

    Posted

    Peter, since I was 13 I knew I was an alchoholic. I knew that because of this radio show that I listened to every night called Loveline. I got drunk for the first time on my Bar Mitzvah. Since then, I have managed to make it into college at UCSB (Universety of California Santa Barbra) a universety in America which takes only students with a high grade point average and a good set of extra curiculars. So yea I have this Youtube channel with a video with alot of views, I got good grades at a good school, I have parents with money, and a mom who mistreats me but cares too much about me to ever let me fail. 

    My mom is a huge part of my journey but I could never admit to her the hole I am currently in.

    I have been to rehab before and am having a relapse which is making what happened before rehab look like nothing. 

    I am a freshman in college, on winter break. Being so far from alchohol is tough for me. I literally do whatever I can to fill the hole. A usual day in my life at school consists of an average of 1-3 drinks every day. Of course thats an average across the entire time so far at school. I dont drink when I cant access alchohol thats why it is such a small amount. I usually finish my homework and drink 2-4 shots or so  worth of  vodka when I have it. Then I have have 1 more later. 

    When I run out or even when I have alchohol, I smoke weed a few times every day. Weed was what put me in rehab the first time but I was still in high school.  My parents are not around to drug test me and I know I am off the rails. I am only 19. Many people tell me I'm a smart kid. Thats one of the main complements I recieve from the older adults in my life. I will never stop questioning that because often times I feel like, really bad for drinking and smoking so much. I know my life would be infinitly better as even my sex drive has at times began to fade from my extensive use of bud.  I know what my problem is, I know I need to stop, but I'm just simply not there yet in my journey.    

    Right now I am trying to control it. My fairily wealthy parents have gotten me everything. Even lawyers when I was arrested; this made sure my record was swept clean (under certain curcumstances) so that I could go to college.

    I refuse to myself to tell anyone the true extent of my issue, even the people in AA, or all the friends who dont drink that I attempt to surround myself with. I fear the people who use many drugs as I know they will surely fail out and consequently die or go to jail. My best friends at school dont drink alot. They clearly have no problem with alchohol. I dont know any freshman who are like me in the amount that I drink or smoke. I have convinced myself that I will never touch anything harder than I have tried (acid).

    I have never done ex nor coke. I never will as doing such would lead to certain death for a person like me.  

      I am truly ashamed  and afraid of my personality flaw, my instinct, my addiction(whatever you want to call it). I fear drinking around other people as I fear they will judge my use. I fear the fact that I get an imballence of feelings when I dont drink or smoke for more than a few days. I fear the possibility that I might fail out, get in trouble or go to jail. 

    All I have are fears right now. 

    Currently I am doing ok. My parents have hired  a life coach for me. I have very bad adhd and I just told my life coach about my problem last week. she said this is a bad life choice and she is trying to help me get rid of my weed. I decided  I would finish the weed and then to lisen to her, however I fear that this will not happen.  I fear my urges will be overwhelming and I fear I will crush under the pressure and stress it causes in my life. Without her, I wouldnt have gotten the a's and b's that I got last quarter in school. 

    Partying is basically my life. I DJ and produce and so its constanly a part of my life. I am the presedent of a club and its hard to do so much with such a raging alchohol problem.

    In order to take control of my life, I must get over this MAJOR bump and get through college without getting arrested, failing out, or getting kicked out, I must stop this habbit as soon as I am ready.

    I would love to hear feedback and I will return with updates to my journey.

     

    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964 Jucsb

      Posted

      You need to review your thinking. While the world is still dominated with the theory that excessive alcohol consumption is a personality flaw, that is an old-fashioned outdated view. It is a physiological medical disorder and, while talking therapies can help you deal with this illness, they cannot resolve it and many will consist of totally inaccurate information and have you blaming yourself for suffering this condition. It is NOT your fault but it IS your responsibility to find a solution.

      Have a look at https://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder which explains what is happening in your body and how this can be treated effectively. Google 'The Sinclair Method' and you will find a lot of information online about it.

      Good luck!!

    • natallia04776
      natallia04776 Jucsb

      Posted

      Oh, I am Mum and your letter has broken my heart. Can yougive yourself the answer why do you do to yourself?

      We can be honest only to ourselves. So?

      What's wrong?

      Blessings

    • gwen45436
      gwen45436 natallia04776

      Posted

      Hi, not sure on this post I cant find a connecting post but maybe that is me - can you elaborate for the guys on here.
  • kelly_63040
    kelly_63040 peter97822

    Posted

    Hi, before I reply I was just checking to see if you are still active. Look forward to hearing back from

    You !

  • jamie_44327
    jamie_44327 peter97822

    Posted

    You don't need to tell family but feel no shame in seeing a counsellor. I have had 8 different ones in 22 years as family don't listen most of the counsellor time didn't work as it triggered more drinking but eventually when I was discharged as they couldn't help further it was a wake up call and I stopped so did work talking to a professional

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