End of sex life

Gene,

I know what you are going through. I went through the same thing after radiation for my prostate cancer. This is, unfortunately, a common side effect of any procedure to cure the cancer, even if it is advertised as "nerve sparing". You should ask your doctor for viagra or cialis. Viagra is called sildenafil and is available in generic for very low cost. Might be worth a try. There is also a psychological component to all of this. You are concerned about not being able to have an erection, and that anxiety causes you to not have an erection - so this goes in a circle.

At least your prostate is gone. Mine was left in place then I went through five years of BPH torment as my prostate began to cut off my urine flow, and the radiation has made my bladder hyper sensitive, so I feel like I have to pee all the time. Very irritating and it is ruining my sleep. At least you will never have to go through the horrible symptoms of urine retention due to prostate blockage.

Of course, you might have or had some incontinence issues.

Tom

Having had PS dealt with using hormone treatment and RT I can understand some of what you are going through.

There is of course far more more to good sexual relationships than PIV so not being able to get a good erection should not be the be all and all of intimacy with a partner. You need to build loving and trust and the pleasure of being close and sharing. It may take time but if you both make the effort it can be done but I suggest that you need to take the lead and go back to courting her and making her feel that she is special. You are the man so you need to bear this in mind and not expect her to wear the trousers!

Hope this might help. Cheers, Richard

I had a radical (old fashioned) prostatectomy 23 years ago. That was after a TURP and several cystectomies and painful rectal scan. Then 6 years later it all started to go wrong and I had to endure 37 doses of RT. All very debilitating. I have been left with a weak bladder and a lot of internal damage that causes regular flare ups of bladder and urinary tract. Yes the ability to have intercourse went but that was not the end of the line. One can have a very pleasant sex life without having intercourse. My wife was a star. I am now into my 80s and nature has taken over and the urge is faint. Watching sexy films has the Mary Whitehouse effect on me now. Just as well as my lovely wife was taken into care two years ago with Alzheimer's. I looked after her at home for 10 years before I couldn't cope. There are much more important things in life than sex. Companionship is worth a million times more. Losing ones sex drive and ability is nothing compared to the loss of a lifetime loving companion. Make the most of your relationship with your wife as she sounds a very caring and sympathetic lady. (If I have not spelt some words correctly please accept my apologies)

A couple of things come to mind:

1. See a GP that specialises in men's sexual health. Such chaps are focused on the physical and mental needs of those who have gone through what you've gone through;

2. Cialis works if you take it daily even if you don't have sex. The downside is that it's expensive;

3. have you had your testosterone checked since the treatment? Has it returned to anywhere near its pre treatment level? If not, then see an endocrinologist to discuss.

Yes, you have my sympathy and I understand your feelings. I started having erection problems aged about 50 and they discovered my testosterone was low. I now have injections to help that but still don't manage enough for intercourse. I haven't had intercourse for over 20 years, but as someone wrote, you can still be physically and emotionally close with your partner. I also had rt for prostate cancer recently but don't know if that added to the non erections. At age 73 I don't really care anyway and I suppose age is also contributing. Low testosterone, radiotherapy and age - it seems to be the way it is now. I hope you get the support you are looking for.