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Eviction to me means the End of my life

Posted , 12 users are following.

ozzie1961
ozzie1961

I am so tired of living, so tired of fighting on my own.

So tired of approaching every avenue of what help we are told is out there.

So tired of ADVICE that leaves me back at square one.

So tired of ADVICE that does not provide me with a place to go to when the ballifs arrive and remove us from the property in weeks time.

So tired of the isolation in knowing that Human Rights are somethign the normal, average person cannot count on.

Human Rights must be for the rich , those with nothing need not apply.

I have pages and pages of advice, thousands of emails of advice.

I am tired of being pro active in my search by walking in and asking for help, even when I am so broken and unable to stop my tears from flowing.

Everyone has advice , but no one can provide an ANSWER.

Without an ANSWER I am resorting to the only answerthat makes sense, and to find out what ways are the best ways to take my life.

This way my fight will be over, there will never have to be another tear spilt.

I will be safe and away from a world that is cruel and for the rich.

I didnt realise how easy it was to get the only real advice that I am brought too.

I will never be seen alive when the baliffs arrive.

They can take my body out for  those lying , hateful neigbors to see for themselves that they finally got what they wanted anyway.

I have always been a winner ut this time I will have to win byith losing my own life that has become pointelss and worthless.

mental health is looked down upon , anxiety isnt even understood by the majority.

And the mental Health Porfessionals leave us in pain and without real support.

PJ

1 like, 51 replies

51 Replies

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  • elide91905
    elide91905 ozzie1961

    Posted

    Hi, 

    I know that you feel like you are in a no-win situation with nowhere to go because I've been there and had my life implode. I'm not going to harp o though because this is about you. Obviously, nothing anyone says on here is going to control your actions because your life is your own. But by explaining how you feel on here I think that you may still be open to help but you want to make up your own mind what that is and not get into a situation where people are making you empty promises. 

    Mental health and anxiety isn't very well understood, you are right. But this is mainly because unlike other parts of the body which operate kind of like a big biological machine, mental health has to deal with emotions, feelings and perceptions and these are different for each one of us. However, I have noticed that a lot has to do with brain chemistry. I have been receiving talking therapy for a year and just having someone to listen to me drone on about whatever I want without any judgment has been so liberating. 

    I think that if you were to supplement with lithium orotate 5mg going up to 10mg if you don't get any effect you would be pleasantly surprised. I'm not making any promises but it has definitely helped for me. Feeling desperate is very natural and common however there is help out there if you will give it a chance. Above anything else you are the most important here. Not the bailiffs or landlords but you and your life. It is worth fighting for but it does take courage and the willingness to accept it might be a bumpy ride at times. 

    Take care

    • ozzie1961
      ozzie1961 elide91905

      Posted

      Thank you Eldie

      again for all your advice, but my 3 years of battle against what I have been exposed to has proved nothing in any positive way.

      I am left isolated, abandoned and soon to be without a home.

      To follow up what advice you have so kindly given me is great as far as I can see, but it doesnt provide me with a roof over my  head.

      I live with HIV infection, which is at such a poos tate now this will kill me soon enough, I have chronic Lymphodeama right now and had it for 4 years, i end up back in Hospital, I have lung infection and live infection.

      Then after what I have been through with a hateful landlord I now have depression and sever anxiety which acculalate into epapleptic style fits.

      And I am expected to live in the street.

      I have sort every answer to this problem, I remain exhausted with advice as no advice can stop what is about to happen and I am resided to the reality of life that it actually sucks and nothing is out there to give me a new place with my carer who is without income from anywhere.

      We are going to be thrown out of our home and left on the street.

      Can anyone tell me how this can be ?

      It wont be a problem for me as I will not leave this property to be placed on the streed alive.

      Life is too hard and not for those who have no value as value = having money and being able to be protected by law.

      I understand what you say very clearly, I am not so crazy that i cannot understand what you have said.

      I am happy it has worked out for you.

      But in my 3 years of seeking a place where I am able to rest , not be open to neighbor abuse and a place where I am able to thrive and not be expected to just survive has had a major toll on me.

      I cannot see a future at any angle.

      My future has been taken away from me.

      All I now have control over is where to from this point.

      The answer is not difficult to decide what is best for me.

  • cheria
    cheria ozzie1961

    Posted

    So very sorry. You sound like you've given up on all the solutions you have been given and are depressed and feeling hopeless at this time. What is your situation as far as composure of your family unit? Are you a parent? Wbat area do you live in? Are you in a high cost area? What is your education ? Are you with possible further education goals? Are you on managed treatment for your depression?
    • ozzie1961
      ozzie1961 cheria

      Posted

      I am not a parent I am an unckle of 12 and a great uncle of 8 children.

      I have a eledrly mother, elderly father both in retirment homes in australia.

      I have 3 sisters, one who listens and cares about me, 1 that suddenly dropped me as a lifelong friend without reasoning or without answering me why?

      The other who tried to tell me I had the devil in me and she tried to cast the demons out of me that made me so unwell at the time I wnet and sat in a park for 24 hrs broken.

      I am in this site today as there is just one person I can call my freind.

      he lives with me, is a dead broke student and he too is showing anxiety issues and is desperate to finnish a 3 year degree at a colege here in London.

      It does not help with all the extra advice I have advice coming out of my ears.

      I am told I am weak to consider taking my own life into my hands.

      I dont believe that.

      I am a waste of space and worthless to society who has not shown compassion but attacked me until I am so far down I am no longer with the strenth to fight my corner and achieve anything that is remotely anything like what I essentially need for me and my dearest freind and carer a roof above our head.

      Having this would change my world

      But its not going to happen this is perfectly clear to me.

      X

      Maybe u just think I am pathetic .

      Maybe I am just that .

      I really dont care anymore.

      This is not a cry for help as help doesnt exsist in this world.

       

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 ozzie1961

    Posted

    Hi, dear ozzie. I am so so very sorry for both your impossible situation, and how terribly hopeless you feel.....just a few ideas...

    Have you a gp...they have a duty of care to you, ..they may be able to help in some way...

    Where I live...and in many, many other areas...we have a brilliant organization...HELP THE HOMELESS...it is run by volunteer who try there best.to ....house.....clothe......feed....and give the people back their self esteem....

    The people who would put you in contact are also an amazing organization are THE SALVATION ARMY....

    please do not discount them as a source of help....

    I really feel for you, we took a young lady in who was cold and drunk on the streets....I was a HOPELESS ALCOHOLIC for many. Years...sectioned.four times..so I kind of know to a tiny extent....

    Please, please try just to hang on a little longer, you do not deserve to suffer like this...you must have great courage to have come this far, also your friend you look out for....

    You are in my thoughts....I cannot imagine how much you hurt.xxxxx.....xx please hang on xx

    • ozzie1961
      ozzie1961 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      You are an amazing inspiration to others.

      Your compassion of others is imense and unique

      I get the real sense that what you say is what it actually is ..

      I feel for you.. I see this and am grateful

      You are in my thoughts .. I feel this very much

      I cannot imagine how much you hurt...  I am at the stage where hurt isnt even a priority anymore.

      I have no future , no way to deal with my physical health issues which are life threatening and can rest in the only answer that actually makes perfect sense .

      I will find a way to have the courage to complete the task ahead at the right time.

      I will strive to enjoy every day and every moment until this time.

      Nothing else will matter 

      Hugs

      PJ

  • Emis_Moderator
    Emis_Moderator ozzie1961

    Posted

    I have deleted the argumentative posts in this discussion. If you do not wish to reply constructively do not reply to the discussion. Do not get involved in slanging matches in discussions.

    Regards,

    Alan

    Emis Moderator

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 ozzie1961

    Posted

    Dear, dear ozzie, Please try to hang on a Little longer....

    Is there no way you could contact the salvation arny, who will put you in touch with the amazing...kind...caring...understanding..and totally non judgmental voluntary..HELP THE HOMELESS...they are a real life saver to many....they all work hard out of REAL CARING AND UNDERSTANDING....in NUNEATON our group is fantastic, and help so, so many people....

    Please, if you FEEL strong enough...find them,,, they CAN AND WILL HELP.....AND MOST..IMPORTANTLY.........THEY WANT TO HELP....XXXX you will be in my deepest thoughts and prayers....

    Don't give up just yet DEIRDRE xxxxxx

  • amanda1827h
    amanda1827h ozzie1961

    Posted

    Go and see your gp! There is help out there! We all have our highs and lows! Please get to see the cab office they will help. Try reflexology! Try swimming! Walking. Even do dog walking very good income to be made! Don't give up! Regards Amanda
    • ozzie1961
      ozzie1961 amanda1827h

      Posted

      Amanda

      I have done all this

      I was with my GP just 2 days ago.

      ​There is nothing that can bring me peace and calm back into my life while I have no prospects of having a roof over my head and my carers.

      I am about to dope myself back up on diaziapam to give my body another 18 hrs rest and sleep.

      Only to wake up to the same reality and same pain.

      I so much appreciate your response and reply.

      But my basic and essential needs over ride everything else including my anxiety, dperession, hiv and more.

      I have no chance left on the streets and eventually found in the gutter .

      I am worthless and have no value to any one .

      Thats not a cry for poor poor me.

      That is the reality of a cold world outside  that allows these things to happen daily.

      I have spent 2 years supporting and caring for a homeless person and I have watched him barely survive.

      I dont have the same strength to do this.

      I am going to make sure this will not ever happen to me .

      PJ

      I will be out of sight for around 12-18 hrs in a few minutes

      PJ

  • amanda1827h
    amanda1827h ozzie1961

    Posted

    Hi Ozzie! You need help! You are not worthless! Helping others is gift! Please seek help. There is more to life than being dead! Do you have family? If you do please think of them! Someone has to pick up the pieces! You need to think things through Amanda
    • ozzie1961
      ozzie1961 amanda1827h

      Posted

      your absolutely right

      i have written to my elest sister this morning.

      i have thought things through for 3 years.

      there is no help available in this entire country that can offer me an alternative to living on the street.

      and with mental health living on the street meand being beaten up by the police and seen as nuisance to society,

      i have approached up to 50 or more organizations and it has led me back to nothing and hoplessness.

      its now up to me and all about taking control back .

      I am tired of advice

      It donest give me my basic needs.

      I have no hope but to depend on me to do the right thing.

      I only need to find the courage to do what i essentially should of done properly.

      PJ

      I am now with the meds and will be out of it soon.

       

  • stephx
    stephx ozzie1961

    Posted

    What a awful situation Im in debt myself and felt exactly like this hunnie .

    They is more as life has more meaning then money and bills ect .

    coming on here and saying this is a big step and although it may not feel like .

    They is of course /should be places to go and talk to about your situation that may be able to help you out with your emotional problems and other problems of course I hope you find the strength to talk to somebody in person because you are definitely strong another as you have written this post take care and please remember you can get through bad situations xxx

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