1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Depression

Extremely desperate and don't know what to do

Posted , 10 users are following.

Noodledoodle
Noodledoodle

I first attempted suicide in feb this year and saw a crisis team, there was a 7 month wait for a psychiatrist. I've been told repeatedly I have severe depression and anxiety but I hear voices and do not feel like I am part of the world so sometimes I feel like I have something else. I've had depression and anxiety for a long time but never felt this suicidal, it's my every waking thought. I attempted suicide again this month and was sent to a crisis house for a 2 week stay. They talked about grounding techniques and mindfulness but I can't grasp it because all I want to do is die. I was discharged from the crisis house today and I practically begged to be admitted into hospital because I cannot cope with daily life and all I think of is ending my life. All that has been suggested is seeing the crisis team at home, but I'm terrified of being at home. I can't go anywhere alone and I feel I've lost touch with reality. How desperate do I have to be for them to admit me? I need to be safe and I'm not I'm just petrified of who I am and of my thoughts.

4 likes, 45 replies

45 Replies

Next
  • rachel62244
    rachel62244 Noodledoodle

    Posted

    The fact you want help shows your life is worth living. I see home treatment. Is there anything in ur life that makes u feel this way or is it the illness only? I was scared of been alone too and I also feel iv lost reality it all Seems very dream like and foggy . Are u on medication? I'm sorry your going through this.
    • Noodledoodle
      Noodledoodle rachel62244

      Posted

      I'm on 300mg venlafaxine, 4mg lorazepam a day and 50mg quetiapine. I really feel that this is like a play and if I end my life it will stop. I don't know what's up and what's down it's bizarre.
  • phillip_96025
    phillip_96025 Noodledoodle

    Posted

    Go to the nearest A/E and tell the Dr about your suicidal thoughts. This should result in an admission with a psychiatric referral. Good luck.
    • rachel62244
      rachel62244 Noodledoodle

      Posted

      Crisis team are pants. U need to see access team home treatment I was referred there by my consultant for my pregnancy. My gp referred me to the crisis team first and they came to see me and did nothing. I'd go to a and e !
    • rachel62244
      rachel62244 Noodledoodle

      Posted

      Iv seen two p doctors and still no where they just up my meds which is sertraline but I'm not suicidal just very poorly and fed up of depression and anxiety. It's a long road there is no quick fix I'm afraid. U need to go to a and e if u feel unsafe. Please.
  • Square_Chin
    Square_Chin Noodledoodle

    Posted

    NoodleDoodle, wih a monicker like that you sem to ave a sense of humour. Can I say at the beginning that I totally, totally sympathise and partially understand what you are saying and how you ar feeling. Having wait 7 monhs for a psychiatric appointment is ludicrous and totally unacceptable, and recently turns on its head the comment made by the present Scottish Health Secretary, that the NHS is NOT crisis. Who are they trying to kid, if that is the waiting time for IMMEDIATE specialist help. However, what that length of waiting time emphasises is that you are NOT lone, even though you might feel like it all the time. Unfortunately the NHS is over-stretched sometimes to what feels like breaking point, but as co-sufferers of a very, very debilitating illness that is not what we want to hear, that we have to wait months for help that we need NOW. I'm in Glasgow, and must say that I've been fortunate that although my GP is not a mental health expert, he has seen my real need of help and I have been referred pretty quickly for specialist help. I have been to two different lots of psychology sessions both to cover CBT in all it's facets, but the second round of sessions were stopped because it was felt that I WASN'T WELL ENOUGH TO BENEFIT FROM THE HELP THAT CBT CAN.......What???? Don't discharge me when 'm I'll ad need your help NOW. However, that's what they did, and I was told to contact them again when I was better. Unbelievable!! However, ave you thought of changing your GP as a first move. Doing that.sometimes help, as a new eye on an ssue can sometimes move move things on quicker as they have a different view of things. Next, having confronted your need for help, you have contacted ths forum, where like-minded people understand what you are going through. However, long distance (not face to face) discussions don't get to the heart of the issues. I don't know the answer to that, but if we were allowed I would love to meet folk from this forum (maybe in our own face to face group) that we could start and at least we can talk out our distresses with those in the know. Do you think that would be a good idea? Distance would not be a problem for me personally but I can't speak for any others, but I put that thought out there as a possible suggestion that MAY be a life line for so many people. What do you think? Let me know and we can take it from there. Regards Square Chin
    • Noodledoodle
      Noodledoodle Square_Chin

      Posted

      Thanks for your reply. I have recently changed gp's as I had to move cities. Now I'm under the care of the crisis team. I'm not really sure what is better. Psychiatric help here seems to be a long way off. I was sent to a 'community work' psychiatrist when apparently I needed acute psychiatric treatment. To be honest, im lost with it all. But I'm glad I've opened up here on the forum. I have major anxiety about speaking to people so there forum is a 'safe space' for me.
  • peter2824
    peter2824 Noodledoodle

    Posted

    Hi there Noodledoodle, by the look of it you have been here for a while. Depression comes in many forms. Positive and negative symptoms and of course what you have said that you feel that you are not in touch with reality. Could be that you have a psychotic depression hence you hear voices and are in a negative spiral. Do you hear one or more than one voice? Does the vioce or voices good or bad? Do they always say nasty things to you or get you to try to do things that you don't want to? or do they vary good verses bad. Iknow it is very difficult to motivate yourself when you have a really bad depression however you are I'm glad to see that you are motivated to visit Patients forum. I have worked for many years with people who hear voices, very, very bad ones and others that could get people in to trouble. Think of what you could do to help you slow down the voices or if they are very annoying ask them or it to come back when you have more time to have a conversation with them. You might think I am talking a little strangely but there is a group which started in Manchester, its called Talking Voices. They have a forum just like this but giving advice on how to deal with all kinds of personal voices. You can also go online to Living Life to the Full website if you are feeling suicidal. There is an emergency button to press if you need help. It is a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy site and they help you by teaching you how to change parts of your behaviour so that you stay in control of your feelings and emotions using the 5 step method. Give it a try. Theres lots more I have learned to help others on this great site. Good luck and take care. 
    • peter2824
      peter2824

      Posted

      Hi noodle doodle sorry the link for the voices forum is (hearing voices network) on the Manchester site there is a forum too.  Manchester Hearing Voices Group
  • hypercat
    hypercat Noodledoodle

    Posted

    I had a look at the link and it only seems to be available in Northern Ireland?
    • peter2824
      peter2824 hypercat

      Posted

      Hi hypercat, the hearing voices network was set up in Manchester, there is a link to the network on the manchester website under forums. You have to sign up first which is free.regards Peter. 
Back to top
Next

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.