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Extremely desperate and don't know what to do

Posted , 10 users are following.

Noodledoodle
Noodledoodle

I first attempted suicide in feb this year and saw a crisis team, there was a 7 month wait for a psychiatrist. I've been told repeatedly I have severe depression and anxiety but I hear voices and do not feel like I am part of the world so sometimes I feel like I have something else. I've had depression and anxiety for a long time but never felt this suicidal, it's my every waking thought. I attempted suicide again this month and was sent to a crisis house for a 2 week stay. They talked about grounding techniques and mindfulness but I can't grasp it because all I want to do is die. I was discharged from the crisis house today and I practically begged to be admitted into hospital because I cannot cope with daily life and all I think of is ending my life. All that has been suggested is seeing the crisis team at home, but I'm terrified of being at home. I can't go anywhere alone and I feel I've lost touch with reality. How desperate do I have to be for them to admit me? I need to be safe and I'm not I'm just petrified of who I am and of my thoughts.

4 likes, 45 replies

45 Replies

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  • grandmaw
    grandmaw Noodledoodle

    Posted

    hi Noodledoodle, Im sorry that you went to a unit this morning and there is no beds, its crazy how bad to you have to be to get help out there, I so hope that tomorrow they will ring you to say there is a bed and you will be able to go and get the help you deserve. thinking of you and take care, try letting us know tomorrow if you go in so we dont worry about where and how you are.
  • hypercat
    hypercat Noodledoodle

    Posted

    Sorry but I think A and E are rubbish.  A few years ago I took an overdose and ended up in hospital.  There were no free cubicles for around 4 hours so I was left in a chair in the waiting area able to viewed by everyone in there. 

    I eventually got a cubicle and then a bed for the night.  In the morning after a 3 minute chat with a psychiatrist was discharged and told someone from the out of hours crisis team would call over the weekend to make sure I was ok.  They did their duty call and that was it.   Nothing else,  no follow up and no care.  

    A and E is the last place I would ever want to be again.   Bev x

    • hypercat
      hypercat

      Posted

      meant to say the crisis team telephoned me only.
    • Noodledoodle
      Noodledoodle hypercat

      Posted

      Hi Bev, I had a very similar experience before hence my trust in the system has been very jaded. I am trying to be hopeful that this time I will finally get the care I've been desperately asking for.
    • hypercat
      hypercat Noodledoodle

      Posted

      Hi sorry I shouldn't really have posted my quite bitter post as it is not helping you at all.   I am sure not all A and E is the same,  though I note this has happened to you too. 

      I sincerely hope you get the help you so desperately need,  Take care.  bev x

  • grandmaw
    grandmaw Noodledoodle

    Posted

    Hi Noodledoodle, how are you? you havent put a post on are you ok, or just sleepy from your meds, please let us know you are ok
    • Noodledoodle
      Noodledoodle grandmaw

      Posted

      Hello, thank you for caring. They have found a bed for me tonight so I will be going this evening. I had a bad self harm episode yesterday, I don't even know what triggered it, it just happened. So today I am very dopey on my medication. I can't actually believe they've got me a bed. I'm relieved that tonight I will hopefully be safe from myself.
    • Noodledoodle
      Noodledoodle phillip_96025

      Posted

      I just got a call saying the bed is now not free so I'm back to waiting. Distracting myself from myself is very hard.
    • phillip_96025
      phillip_96025 Noodledoodle

      Posted

      That is so bad. Do take great care of yourself. You have a lot of support from people who care on this site. See what tomorrow brings.
  • grandmaw
    grandmaw Noodledoodle

    Posted

    Sorry to hear you had a bad time last night, but I am glad to hear they have found you a bed, make the most of it all, descripe everything you are feeling and tell them the truth, dont think they wont like it, they have probably heard it all before, so say all the nasty things like yesterday.

    I wish you well and hope next time we hear from you you will be a new person, I do know it dont work that quick, but hopefully they will get you more help when you are back home etc..... Good Luck and Take Care Thinking of you

  • grandmaw
    grandmaw Noodledoodle

    Posted

    Hi Noodledoodle, just read your message, I am really sorry to hear that they have cancelled you going in tonight, that really stinks, I just dont know what to say other than hold in tight and stay strong your time will come for you to go in and hopefully then everything will be sorted but in the mean time, try watching tv or sudok or just anything, have you got someone who can come round to be with you this evening? I really hope you get a good night sleep and you dont have a repeat of last night, wishing you all the luck, just stay strong
  • grandmaw
    grandmaw Noodledoodle

    Posted

    Hi noodledoodle, how was last night? have you heard anything from the hospital about a bed today? thinking of you and hope you get the support and everything you need when you get that bed.  Take care
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