Eye floaters

Well I never knew that!

Thanks.....we all leanr from each other. Wonderful

Hey hunni, just to add a tiny bit of practical advice on top of all these lovely comments...

Try letting the water run into your ears when you're in the shower, a minute each side usually helps get rid of that pesky crackling, and is only what the dr would do if you had them syringed. Helps me!

Lotsa love xx

Odd you should say that !

Because AD does not have particular visible symptoms that other can relate to, it's hard not to feel embarrased, ashamed or, as you say, a burden

But I learned to dispense with such negative thoughts, Mopsy (Mopsy because it's cute and suits you )

I am quite open and unabashed by my AD/ Agoraphobia. Surprisingly the resonses of outsiders, ( LOL, my name for non AD sufferers ) has been positive

Being frank and honest about my illness dispensed much of the humiliation I once felt. Was I once ashamed? Indeed I was. But this was due to public perception of Mental Illness and the stigma attached

It's a sad state of affairs when Mental Ilness is regarded with such archaic viewpoints. If one is ill, one is ill, no matter what shape or form it manifests

However, I personally do not believe Anxiety Disorder and all it's offshoots falls into the Mental Illness catergory. I believe it is an Emotional illness, triggered by personal trauma

Mental Illness is easily diagnosed and there are many and varied treatments. Emotional Illness lags behind in that respect. More research into cause and effect, suitable treatments, needs to be put into place

The treatment for Emotional illness has, in my opinion, stagnated. Same old therapies, same old meds. Complaceny has set in with those who should, and could, research this ever growing problem which straddles the whole world

And that saddens me

Now I shall climb down from my soap box

Hugs to all fellow sufferers and strugglers

XXX

I think I've latched onto the floaters because I feel so woozy and off balance all the time. It's like navigating on board a boat and it activates my brain tumour fear...I think the floaters were the last straw

Oh, Sillymop!

It'll be okay! You just wait. You haven't got a brain tumour. You haven't got the symptoms of one.

Floaters being the last straw isn't something rational because they're so common.

About three months ago I woke up with a mass of floaters which had appeared overnight. They formed into a weird shape. After two days (and an optician's appointment) I started to see thousands of tiny dots. In fact, quite a lot of them are still there - so I called the optician and he explained that they would gradually go away - and they have. But not altogether. The weird shape resolved itself into a large blob which is still there. The thousands of dots became hundreds.

I am hoping they'll all go away soon, like an unwelcome crew at a party.

Thank you for your response. My anxiety was at a peak today and I was on the brink of going to the A&E because of how woozy and disorientated I felt. I felt a rise in panic minute by minute, my balance become worse - the woozyness increased and I began to feel queasy.

I am starting to calm down now and feel a little better

Oh no! So sorry for this. I'm actually dealing with the floaters big time this morning too. I was noticing them like 2 weeks ago and had bad anxiety, but then slowly forgot about it and moved on to worrying about other stuff. But this morning I'm running on 0 sleep and very stressed...and so they're back! I understand your frustration completely. Please trust me...there's nothing seriously wrong with either of us! It'll be okay. Feel better 

Hi my Mopsy

You're panicking honey. It's making the woozy/balance problem worse.

You've got your mind crying for the floaters to disappear and for the balance to adjust and the wooziness to fade

Now you feel sickly

Sweetie, it's all anxiety induced. No brain tumour believe me. You have no symptoms that relate to a brain tumour, none whatsoever. The problem is you're focusing on your symptoms, cringing from them, fighting for them to go away

Hand on heart I've had all those symptoms and they're vile. And I'm still here, years later, annoying the hell out of everyone

Honey, calm down. I swear nothing bad is going to happen to you! Nothing at all.

Big ole hugs

Helen

Thank you I am doing just as you say, I'm desperate for it to go away and I keep fighting it, despairing it etc etc etc.

I've booked myself in for an opticians appointment to ease my mind this Friday, as they said on the phone. I have so many good things at the moment that I want to stop doing this

I know it's been a bad few months...well, a year really a lot has happened but things seem to be on the up now - apart from this!

Thank you so much for coming back I hoped you would - your advice is so good X

Hey Mopsy,

It's not what happens to us, it's how we deal with it honey

I know you have had bad times. But no looking back, okay? WE cannot change things by mulling them over, feeling sad they ever happened. Wishing they never had happened. All we can do is make ourselves miserable raking over them time and time again

The past is just that. Past, gone, nothing we can do about it

Tomorrow? Who knows what that will bring. But whatever it is we deal with it, face it

It's today that counts. There here and now. People with AD, more than any other, have to live "in the moment" Remember I said baby steps? Take each hour in half hour chunks. Make the best of them because you'll never get that precious time back

Life is to be lived

Carpe Diem, honey, Sieze the Day..by the scruff of the neck lOL

Hugs Helen

 

Yes... Living in the moment is something I need to try harder at. I do often linger in the past and this is definitely one of my problems. I cause myself a lot of pain.

I react so terribly to this sensation and my legs begin to shake. I can feel pressure in my ears and sinuses as if they are filling up, and it comes back - which makes sense if it is what my Drs suspect - but other things bring it on too. Being at work (I worry people will notice something is wrong and I fight it constantly - when I come home I'm then exhausted.) shops can do it too, as can crowds. When I'm outside I can feel a lot better.

You just mentioned the pressure in you sinuses and ears. I too get this daily.

The pressure starts in my face, in my checks, must, eyes and lower forehead. Then my left ear and left nostril plug and I become all off balance.

Can you relate?

Yes - I get the feeling of pressure in my forehead around to my ears, it also affects my eyes and with it comes feeling of balance and woozy. It makes my head feel a bit thick and heavy, like I have a glue in my ears.

Do you get it daily? And what do your doctor's say. I have had this for several years daily. I kinda relate some of it to cloud movement

Mopsy

NO, no, no! Naughty Mospy. You must not try harder. That's fighting. It's about accepting, honey. Accepting the past and letting it go.

Holding yourself tense at work in case anyone notices anything amiss, is adding to your stress load. All that tension, the bunching muscles, struggling to hold it all together, are wearying. No wonder you are exhausted when you get home.

What do you fear they will see anyway?

I suspect you are embarrassed by your AD. Frightened if people suspect you suffer with it they won't understand, they will think you're not "Normal. "

It's a common fear. But your main priority is yourself, your recovery, and not the opinions of others.

There's a saying:

"Those who care, don't matter. Those who matter don't care "

Think about it

When we are exhausted with our "nerves " shops, crowds, all that noise, the bustle, the cacophany of voices and fluorescent lighting, are anxiety triggers

So you go about your day, wound tight as a spring. Tense. You return to the sanctuary of your home and...You literally let go of it. The result?

You're worn out.

And why?

Because all day long you have been in the vicious circle of anxiety/fear/fighting/desperation

Know your enemy, Mopsy. Learn all you can about how AD affects you, write it down and write down how you think you can help yourself

Hugs again

Helen

Thank you, Helen.

I fear them 'finding out', because I fear they will regard me as some psychotic crazy who they wonder why they hired every time I fail to learn or pick up tasks quickly at work I berate myself - and then I blame my woozyness/brain fog: "if only this went away I would be okay."

So I've come to fear it and in turn, fear being at work... It's a vicious circle. Every day feels like a vicious circle.

Like you say...I keep fighting it. I want the feeling to go away - I want to get back to normal so badly that I cry to myself, not knowing what to do. I feel like no one will help me

I'm frightened of what it could be, frightened of myself and everything in between. What makes it worse is I feel like such a failure...

I feel like I'm waiting for the dizziness and balance problems to go away, so I'm permanently waiting and permanently fighting. And yes as you very rightfully say I'm wound tight as a spring to the point where sometimes my body just aches - or I get so tired I feel like I have no energy left, like my sugar levels have plummeted.

I want to be free of my fear and to breath again, I want my life back

Oh Mopsy, you noodle!

You've dug yourself into a deep hole

There is a greater knowledge and acceptance of Anxiety Disorder these days. Would it be so hard to explain calmly to your work colleagues

that you suffer from AD?

No one would think you were psychotic! They know you so why would they instantly change their opinion

Trying to hide your AD is imprisoning you. And what is it you fear so much? You fear what it could be? What do you truly think it could be?

You won't be free, Mospy, until you accept your AD. If you cannot disclose it at work then I understand. But you yourself have to come to terms with it

That's the path to recovery

I have fought it all my life I started to have anxiety attacks very young around five or six years old. It caused a lot of upset in a household that already had a lot of upset... In my mind, it made things 'worse' - it was a bad, unhelpful reaction and I began to fear what I could do, and how it affected those around me.

As I've grown I've learnt to hide it. And I've done well for a long time...but this year has brought a few things to a head and then this dizzy/disorientation...it's too much. It scares me because it won't go away, and I usually do let go of my obsessions after a while.

In my mind because it won't go away it must mean something is wrong. I can't seem to accept its 'just my ears'

Yes I am in a hole... I hide away a lot and only feel comfortable with two special people to me. I often shy away from friends and make excuses not to see them (I don't know why,) sometimes going out can seem so hard.

Then I got this and I feel it's debilitating

Mopsy, dear

Tell me, tell me what you think it means?

And remember, you have had AD since you were 6 years old by your own admission. Yet here you still are

What is it you're afraid of, honey?

You were a little child. If you household was unstable then it's no wonder you started with AD. Kids need security, to feel safe. You were an innocent baby. How could you possibly have made things worse? Whatever was going on, and I'm not prying by the way, was not your fault

Maybe you do need to sort out your feelings/emotions from the past. Have you had therapy? One to one talking?

I'm having therapy at the moment, it's early days but I deliberately sourced it out after recent events.

Someone related to me was emotionally abusive. They were diagnosed with an issue they didn't want to have evaluated or monitored, so the behaviour grew worse. From anger, constant teasing and barating, accusing me and my other sibling of ruining their life to finally almost cold indifference.

I got away, physically. I thought I had got away entirely. This year that person died. I was told early this year they were sick... They didn't make any attempt at an apology. I say I didn't expect one but a part of me hoped.

Their new partner hounded me to see this person... When I said no and why I did not want to, I was called a liar.

That hurt most of all. I felt my identity had been ripped away.

A few days later this person who had been a huge shadow in my life died.

Gone without a trace.

People who should have told me of their passing didn't...I wasn't even told when and where the funeral was. I found out on Facebook the evening of the funeral. It was too late then.

I feel a bit like a husk, trying to find myself. I became so frightened that because this person was sick that I could get sick too - every day I feel dizzy and woozy I panick that this is it.

I don't want to die too.

Sorry for so much info.

Oh Mopsy!

It strikes me you feel guilty and that since you "escaped" so to speak, you have been hiding, from yourself, the past, all the bad memories and the relation who hurt you emotionally

Now that person has passed away you have to face your mixed feelings

People make choices, honey. You personally did not nor could not ruin their life. Some people become embittered and do that all by themselves then blame others because they cannot face the truth. That they are the one who got it wrong

I understand your desire for an apology. But I don't believe it would have wiped out all the burdens you carry from the past

I can also understand it was painful, insulting, not to be informed of their passing. I suspect your feelings for this person are confused? Anger but love also?

Funerals are a ritual. Laying to rest, not just the person, but our own feelings. Forgive her. I think it's a female. Let her go. Go somewhere quiet, light a candle, place a plant in the garden. Whatever. Have your own ceremony. More for your sake than hers

Forgive. Forgiveness lifts a huge burden from us. Hoarding bitterness never heals

You may well feel like a husk. The person is gone. No chance now of a resolution which I suspect you wanted, And the fact that she was sick in no way means that you too should get sick either. Get that notion out of your head.

You are not going to die

You are going to live

But how, Mopsy, are you going to live? Remember I said people make choices. You must choose now. Do you drag the past and it's hurts into your future? Or do you forgive, say your own personal godbye and let go

Then start living your life

It was a man..the only thing I knew to do was write a letter to that person. I turned it into a paper plane and flew it out to sea. I felt them with me as I did it - which is odd because in life that person dos very little with me. I have a few happy memories. A handful. That's all I have left of twenty years of my life.

There are a few people in my town (I live in a small town) who have listened to my relatives partner and someone else (I can't say more about who, I'm sorry ) and I feel like I am the one hiding. I was a victim of my relative and somehow, their death has turned the tables.

I didn't ask for any of it.

It made me realise my mortality. Every time I feel woozy that bites at me.

I'll be honest, I thought you were talking about your Mom

The letter flying out to sea? That's beautiful, Mopsy. That moment you felt them with you? He probably was Take that moment, take the few happy memories. Because something is always better than nothing

Gossip is almost always cruel and in some cases unfounded. Rise above it. You know the truth.

Above all else we cannot live life dwelling upon our mortality or fearing illnesses

Today counts. Make it count for you

And I am so, so sorry, Mopsy

No, not her. Im very lucky to have a loving mum. Without her I think thins would have been far, far worse.

Thank you so much for your guidance..I genuinely mean that. I feel quite blessed that you responded to my post yesterday, what you have said has not only helped me but soothed me and made me understand a few things.

I hope my health anxiety subsides soon and my mind is put to rest

I hope you feel better soon too, Mopsy

It's a terrible thing to feel anxiety/confused and scared

You can get in touch with me anytime. Sometimes "talking " helps, especially when it's with someone not "involved" Outsiders can look at things with an unjaundiced eye

Mind you,  I get things wrong as well, But I'm a tryer, God help me. Like a dog with a bone !

In my defense, most people with AD are control freaks. They hate not being able to solve anything, put things right, things beyond their control

Mind you, we're not psychos, honey. Perhaps more vunerable, more caring than your average person.

You will notice on this Form, we look after our own

Hugs

Helen xx

I am so glad I found this site. For the past few months it's been my life line.

I am a control freak in that sense! Constantly monitoring, solving and fixing! If I can't fix or rectify something I feel at a loss. I try not to be controlling over those I love... But I do need reassurance that they are safe when I am not with them. Constantly sometimes.

At the moment my nearest and dearest are at a loss with me as I keep going back to the drs or seeking reassurance...

My dr seemed to think that while I do have a problem with my ears, my anxiety has latched onto it and made it far worse. I think the only way I would truly let go of it is if I were to have a brain scan - but unless I pay privately, they feel there is no need to send me for those tests.

I've been given some ear treatment now to try and see if that helps but my anxiety stirs and it tells me that the dr is only doing this to eliminate probably causes and then she might think a scan is needed.

Oddly I am terrified of having a scan incase they find something so I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.

All in all I am very tired lol

There you go! It's all about control

The worst thing with AD, the reaon we freak out, is because we have no control over it....or so we think

But we do have control if we care to take it, as I mentioned in an earlier post

Believe you me, had your GP suspected a need for a brain scan he would have arranged for one. You don't need one Mopsy. None of your symptoms relate to diseases of that nature, Naturally your GP will try to eliminate the obvious but..he would not ignore signs had he suspected there was something serious.

They eliminate the serious then move on to the obvious

They know what to look for honey. We don't. They make a diagnosis based on their medical training. AD sufferers make a diagnosis based upon fear

Trust me on that

Helen

 

Wow... That hit home: "AD sufferers make a decision based on fear." How true you are...

I like how you call us AD sufferers. I didn't know it had a name to be honest. I've always referred to what I have as anxiety, but I didn't really know that it was as much of a thing as say, depression is. I didn't think it felt deserving of a name..when I have told people about it I only ever refer to it as 'bad anxiety' and this is usually said by me with a big element of guilt. A sort of 'how dare I have this stupid thing' - giving it a name makes it feel like it isn't quite my fault as I thought it was. That I'm genuinely not doing it deliberately.

I get very upset when people tell me to 'shake myself' or when they say 'you have nothing to be anxious about so stop it' - because when anxiety hits me, it's like a knock out punch and I am incapable of shrugging it off. I don't know about you, but guilt over my feelings is a big factor which can turn into a vicious circle.

You are also right... My dr would have sent me away. I was worried perhaps I hadn't been honest enough and blamed anxiety on it...but even so I think he would have still picked up on my symptoms of he felt they needed exploring. Even people with anxiety can get things and I think he would have checked this.

Ah yes, the "Pull yourself together " brigade!

Couldn't you just kick them up in the air?

Cruel buggers!

Anxiety Disorder is a true illness. It's not about having nothing to worry about. Whatever emotional/physical trauma ignites it, once it is entrenched you have an illness that affects, I believe the last statictics were, 1 in 3 people

To hell with feeling guilty. AD is enough to cope with without adding unnecessary guilt

I will keep you updated please keep an eye for me - I really appreciate your advice

Laters, Mopsy

xx