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F*** it!

Posted , 6 users are following.

mami5
mami5

I've had enough.  There is no light at the end of the tunnel, that's all bu****t.  Time to call it a day. Thank you for all your support in the past. xx

2 likes, 47 replies

47 Replies

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  • mari34228
    mari34228 mami5

    Posted

    Hi, hope you got on ok at the docs today. xx
  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 mami5

    Posted

    Hi Mami, I am so glad that you have a doctor's appt....the way that you have been treated by the services is nothing short of deplorable !!! ...report each and every single one of them, their attitudes could so easily push people over the edge....if you can put it in writing and photocopy it....also inform your GP the same way.....these people are a disgrace, they are paid to help people in time of great need........I do so hope that you get the decent help and support that you need and are entitled to....make sure your GP realizes just how low you feel........I do so,so hope that you begin to feel better soon.....( I overdosed three times, the treatment is not the nicest....thick charcoal as a drink...or a stomach pump. )...do not let the push you to that, please take care....in my thoughts LOVEY....DEIRDRE xxx
  • mami5
    mami5

    Posted

    Hi, sorry for not coming back sooner, been so exhausted lately!

    Spoke to CPN on Tuesday, and told her about Monday's phone call.  Explained I wasn't happy about how he had treated me and asked her to have a word with him.  Told her if he treats me like this again, then I will be making a formal complaint against him.  Just spoken to her now, and she hasn't seen him yet.  She's off now until after half term.

    Saw GP yesterday and she's requested full blood tests to see why I'm so exhausted all the time.  They will be done next Thursday morning and I'll see her again the followin Wednesday.

    Saw psychologist this morning.  Told him I wanted to die, he told me not to as my kids would be devastated.  Left him, went to Tesco's and bought some pills.  Was very tempted to take them.  Phoned CMHT instead.  My CPN was out so talked to duty officer, a different one to Monday.  He was better, and got my CPN to call me back.  When she did, I'd already taken some pills, which she wasn't pleased to hear.  She tried to get psychologist to phone me, but he was not available.  She's called me about 3 - 4 times in last 21/2 hours.  She's very good to me.

    Unfortunately now both CPN and psychologist are away all next week and I still feel so suicidal. xx

    • mari34228
      mari34228 mami5

      Posted

      Hi mami, good to hear from you. Keep posting. Hopefully someone will keep replying. I may not as I'm having a little trouble myself at the moment (mostly due to side effects from a new pill) but I have doc tomorrow morning (if I can get up in time!).

      Sorry to hear that help is so 'intermittant' if that's the right word. Perhaps if you have trouble getting hold of someone you could phone a helpline. Just to have someone to listen. Did you tell your doc you were feeling this way?

      Your psych was right though. Your kids would of course be devasted. And your grandkids too. But I'm sure you know that yourself. Hold on to the fact that people love you and would miss you. It's hard when you are feeling so low but remember that your thinking will be screwed up just now. Just keep taking each moment at a time. 

      I don't know if any of this helps. i hope so.

      Look after yourself. xxx

       

    • mami5
      mami5 mari34228

      Posted

      Thank you so much.   Does help.  Honest.  Sorry you're not well yourself, hope you do make it to the docs tomorrow.

      Please take care of yourself

      Mami xxxx

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 mami5

    Posted

    Hi mami, I am so glad to hear that you are being treated with the courtesy and kindness that you deserve....please try to hang on a little longer LOVEY, I know that you FEEL like he'll at the moment, but I promise you...it does pass....they are right, your children would be devastated if you harmed yourself honestly...

    I have wished so, so many times that I could turn the clock back and erase the terrible fear and worry that I put all of my family through, especially my beloved children....

    There is a good future for you lovey, but you must hang on just a little longer, the right treatment can and will change your life...

    You will be in my thoughts and prayers, please don't ever give up...you can be happy again....hugs to you always ...DEIRDRE xxx

    • mami5
      mami5 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Hi Deirdre, thank you so much for your reply.  Have to say my CPN and psychologist are very good and care a lot about me, unfortunately both will be off next week though.

      Still feel I don't want to live anymore, and very tempted to take more pills.  Sorry. xxxx

  • mami5
    mami5

    Posted

    Taken more pills again today, losing control now.  At this rate, will die soon, for sure.
  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 mami5

    Posted

    Hi mami....I am so sorry that you are struggling again....if you have taken more than ten or twelve paracetamol...or co codamol..or any other medications at all then please call 111 for advice....

    I am sure that it must be terribly hard for you...but hang on in there at all costs...you are worth it and your family love you...big hugs to you lovely ...Deirdre xx

    • mami5
      mami5 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Hi Deirdre, thank you for your concern, only took 6 today, so ok, but took some on Thursday too!  Just don't care anymore.  xx
    • hypercat
      hypercat mami5

      Posted

      Hi mami please stop taking so many pills as they are harming you.   They are not enought to kill you but they are to harm you. 

      How would you feel becoming disabled through them?   Suffering for ever because of them?    Dying is easy - but suffering through the rest of your life is a very different matter isn't it?    You may have already given yourself liver damage through overdosing so stop and think before taking any more please.   If you were to become disabled then you would be a burdon to your family and you would feel 10 times worse than you do now.  

      You might not care but your lovely family do and so do we on here.   Stop please and seek help.   Bev x

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 mami5

    Posted

    Hi mami.....I do so hope that you are feeling a little better today...please try not to take any more pills today lovey, it really isn't goog for you...have you no family or close friends that you can turn to when you are feeling so low....I feel certain that you should be getting more help than you are at the moment. from your GP.and others....you are in my THOUGHTS...hugs to you..Deirdre xxx
  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 mami5

    Posted

    Hi mami,

    Please try to keep your chin up..xx never forget that your family loves you. No matter what...you are worth as much as ANYONE else, and you DESERVE to be happy...please see your GP again for more help, you need to lift your mood and your GP may be able to help you ....in my thoughts LOVEY...big hugs to you....Deirdre xxl

  • mami5
    mami5

    Posted

    Thank you for you replies, means so much. xx

    Been vomitting today, is that normal?

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