Fear for fears sake??

Dear Emma,

Appreciate your full and detailedletter here

Your'e clearly making progress, cruchless for a few steps was me a week ago too, and have today been out for first time crutchless.Not far, but a first....

As a Counsellor, I'm very aware from your writing your fear is real for you, and all I can say further is to remind you that you are an OK person, and you'll get thru this OK. Be gentle with yourself, and things will fall into place. The physio and OT can be a bit too much saying 'don't' and yet your body might be saying do! The balance is somewhere in the middle....

All may seem scary, yet in the end all will be well. trust yourself and the Universe.

Mic

x

Hello Emma, congrats on getting this far I had my right THR last july and my only concern getting out was that I didn't do something stupid and fall over. As for needing the loo, use the disabled one if available as they have grab rails so better to get on and off the loo. For sitting at a table on seats that have no arms use ur crutches / or sticks as leverage and try to find a spot where you can stretch your op leg out you also carry a small firm cushion if you think the seat is a bit lower than you would like. You need to take a deep breath and get out it will be fine just take it slowly no dashing into the nearest dress shop ! – the stockings are ‘wonderful’ NOT  - just think I’m a guy and they looked very fetching on me for 28 days!!!

Very best wishes

Arthur (65+)

Hi Emma. You are doing so well with your recovery, well done you!

Totally get what your fear is. I have to go out tonight as we have a business meeting I need to be at (4 weeks post op). Really don't want to go and getting knots in my stomach when I think about. However having said that I had to go somewhere similar a week ago and after all it was ok. Could cope with the chairs and just sat at the back and moved around if I got uncomfortable. The loo was fine for one trip. Most of all people were lovely and made me comfortable. I think the anxiety over tonight is more about the meeting and getting back into being sociable  having spent so much time on my own after the last few weeks (family out at work all day).  Yes the rules are there to guide us but most chairs will be fine especially if you ask for a help up off them if they are a bit low. Most loos are fine too - unless your visiting an infants school . I'm waffling now. DEEP breath and gently go for it. It will all be fine ... honestly x

You are completely normal, my friend says the same to me but they have not just had a major op where you may do worse damage if you don't for instance obey the 90°rule and they have not been housebound for ages.

I started work this week just every other day for 4 hrs a day and first day on Monday I was panicking, ( I knew I had no reason to) but I was all het up inside, everything went well, I had a hygienist appointment yesterday and same again, i was panicking, all went well and even went shoe and kettle shopping yesterday, as my son getting married in two weeks and my kettle had been leaking for best part of a year which was great ( the shopping not the kettle lol), but I knocked myself up and suddenly hit a wall of tiredness, nothing a bit of rest won't cure. Today back at work and similar again, though everything went well.

At home we have everything set up for us and know we can manage there and feel safe but in the big outside world, they don't have low toilets, not even in disabled. They don't all have suitably high chairs for us etc etc.

So don't worry just keep going out for little jaunts and you get over your anxiety and feel "normal again"

By the way I'm 8 1/2 weeks post op, you are only 2 weeks. Don't worry, you'll also most likely get the sudden emotional crying etc for reasons you wouldn't normally.

Hi Emma,

So happy to hear that your healing process is going so well! Your fear? I do not think it is fear at all. It is your gut instinct guiding you through the last steps after a very brutal major surgery.

Fear not Emma, trust your gut instincts and you are right to seriously realize that you have only once to heal right. You are right to be on guard mode.

I am 4 weeks post op and I refuse to go out until my 6 week checkup. I choose to stay in my comfort zone because that is where I can stay in control. My surgery was a revision THR, because the first surgeon did not do it well. I never want to suffer through that pain again! I can already tell that my second surgeon has done excellent work and there is no way that I will be pressured into doing anything that could ruin this.

So, as you can see, I get a bit long winded also! Haha! No worries, and welcome aboard, stay in touch so we can support and cheer you on! If I had not found this site and the marvelous people on it, I could not have made it this far.

Hugs

💛 Dawn, USA

Hi Emma , sorry to hear you have to go thro this at your age . 

Pits understandable to be nervous but couldn't you start bupy going to family or friends , or a drive to apark where you could sit on a bench or a cafe you are familiar with ?

I bought a cushion from a mobility shop which is large and firm .

you should take a cushion with you the first few times to build up your confidence. 

Go to toilet before you leave home and stay out for a short time so you won't need to go till you get back home .

i am 9 weeks post op tomortoepw and used a normal toilet outside for the first time today .

 Don't know how soon your weeding is but keep focused on that .

as long as you don't do too much you will be fine .

 My dr told me when I went for 6 weeks check up that it is quite difficult to dislocate and he showed me how I could do it . He bent straight down from the waist . 

Now I bend down by putting my bad leg straight out behind me whilst bending my good knee and all is fine so far .

sorty to go on so long but don't like to think of you being afraid to go out .

set yourself a goal each day and your confidence will grow .

i tried some jeans on in a changing room last week , what a clever girl !!

good luck

Mary

South Wales 

Hi Emma

try not to worry too much as you sound like you are doing great!

I was scared at first leaving the house but my physio told my husband that he had to go with me for short walks to build my confidence up. After a few days I plucked up the courage to do it on my own & now it's not a problem. 

I'm 7 weeks post op tomorrow & go for my follow up appointment. Assuming he may say I can start driving again & that's something else I will have to face.

just do things at your own speed. It's only you that will know when you're ready to do it. Take it easy, it's early days yet.x

Wow. Thank you so much for all your kind words. I really didn't expect to receive this sort of response.

It's really insightful to see that all the things I am feeling and going through are not new and are normal. I don't personally know anyone that has had a hip replacement. None of my friends or colleagues have had one so its hard to guage whats normal. All I seemed to get off the nursing staff was 'you're young so have got plenty of strength so should be fine.' It doesn't really help me to know if things are normal or not. As you have all taken the time to respond to me I think its only right to respond to each of you.

Arthur - Thank you for the advice on how to sit if not in an appropriate chair. I will most definitely take a cushion out and about with me when I do go.

Mary - I'm glad I'm not the only anxious one. Good luck with your meeting. 4 weeks and back at work...I'm really impressed by that.

Christine - you're every other day back at work is a brilliant idea and one I will be stealing when I'm back at work. I hadn't even thought about that. You're right in that people that haven't been through it don't get it...especially the age group I usually associate myself with. And yes my emotions are like PMT on acid!

Dawn - Wow I couldn't imagine going through all this again, which I think is part of the fear. It's no wonder you are being very cautious and staying within your comfort zone if its second time round. I'm so glad that it is going better this time round for you.

Mary - Setting mini goals has been the way ahead so far. Little things like.. getting dressed by myself (bar the socks), lifting my legs into bed without the tubey aid thing, reducing down to one crutch. All goals which to the average Joe Public are really easy to achieve but post op are big deals. My wedding not until next year but the caterers are driving me insane. I can't wait to wear jeans again. I have enough trouble pulling up the tracksuit bottoms so well done on the jeans front. I will definitely be investing in a cushion.

Val - I think short walks to start with might be a good idea. Walking around is something I'm very comfortable with its just the whole sitting down I'm not so keen on. There is a little corner shop just down the road. I think I might start going to get my other half a newspaper each day. He can come with me at first and then because I will get used to that I could go on my own. Build up my outings that way. My physio hasn't really given me any tips like that. I had the 'these are the exercises' talk and these are the don'ts talk. I have a 'hip class.' in 2 weeks time with the physios so pretty much winging until then.

Thank you all so much. I will definitely be keeping an eye on this forum. Its nice to speak to others who are going through the same issues.

 

Totally get where you are coming from. I am now 6 weeks post op.  when I came home from hospital I walked up and down road every day but didn't venture 'out' until about 2 weeks. With regard to coffee shops, cares etc, there is normally higher chairs somewhere and just use the table to help ease you up and down. Re toilets, if you can't use disabled then just remember to keep operated leg out in front. You do lose confidence but it does come back quickly once you give it a go.  My surgeon was quite relaxed about things and said that its very difficult to actually dislocate hip as long as you listen to your body. Go for it Emma, you will be fine. If you feel uncomfortable in a position, stand up and find more comfortable one.  Make sure you have your crutch/stick too. Please try not to worry.  I even feel bit vulnerable now going out without stick, but getting more confident. Xx

From all accounts, early days... we are in for the long haul...4 months have been mentioned...

hi emma, you are doing really well - I had my first ever panic attack in 63 years the day after coming home when i tried to go downstairs! I just couldnt do it , I knew i was going to fall and die so for one whole day I was Rapunzel and hubby got more exercise running up and down stairs than he has had before or since! the next day i realised that the upstairs bannister was not ceiling height and that i could hold on perfectly well - now i can do the hippie hop up and down with no crutches! dont go out until you feel strong enough it is still early days for you - and tell the other half that his job is to look after you and do the housework - that should keep him quiet!!!! onwards and upwards x