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Fear for fears sake??

Posted , 14 users are following.

emma54673
emma54673

Hi. I found this group today as a search engine result and I'm really chuffed that I did.

I'm a 30 year old woman, in fact I had my 30th in hospital the day after my op, and had a left total hip replacement on Friday 13th March so almost 2 weeks ago. Following a few bladder issues I was discharged from hospital on Tuesday 17th.

I came home and and have being making steady progress. I am down to using just crutch around the house unless it's only 10 steps in which case I'm crutchless. I'm taking Naproxen in the mornings and at night, with just paracetamol during the day and a codeine for bed time. My dressings have been taken off and my left leg is swollen knee upwards like an elephant leg. It was all the way down to the ankle but sitting with my leg up reduced that. The stitches wound seems to be healing nicely although the skin has no feeling whatsoever. Night times are .....  Well they're really long and restless. I am sleeping on my back ok with the help of a v shaped maternity pillow and last night put a rolled up pair of trousers under my left knee as it staying straight was starting to ache, this seemed to help. The surgical stockings are driving me insane and I can't wait to be rid of them! They make my skin feel like it's burning! Showers no issues. Stairs no issues. A weird wobbly sensation in my groin if I forget to bend my knee. So where's the fear???

I am absolutely petrified of leaving the house. It's almost like a safety blanket. I begrudgingly left the house today as my other half was trying to organise something for our up coming nuptials and he wasn't getting anywhere. My face went white, and when we returned I had what I can only describe as a breakdown in tears that I didn't want to leave the house. My other half has been saying for about a week about going out for breakfast or for coffee or basically anything to get me out the house but I am sooo scared to go out. I've got all these what ifs running through my head.

what if whilst we're out I need the toilet? It will break the 90 deg rule.

what if the chairs aren't suitable for me to sit in whilst out so that I can lean back. It will break the 90 deg rule. 

What if I feel a twinge and am not in a position that I can sit until it relaxes?

i don't think I have ever done anything this mentally taxing in a long time. I've just spent 2.5 years in agony, had keyhole surgery which didn't work and now this thr and Im scared about messing it up! 

Has anyone else had anxiety like this about going out or any other aspect of their post op recovery?

what did people do about going out?

ive tried discussing is with my other half but he just says if it was him he would want to be out and about and not stuck in doors so doesn't really understand.

thanks in advance

Emma

 

2 likes, 42 replies

42 Replies

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  • Jackie_k
    Jackie_k emma54673

    Posted

    First of all give yourself a huge pat on the back for getting this far! I'm nearly a year out from THR, it's not been without its fair share of problems (back pain mostly) but oh do I remember them early days so well, the cushion is a great idea, have you had children yet? I ask because it reminds me a little of being pregnant, your at a time where you can afford to be a tinsy bit demanding! Lol, ask for the disabled loo, ask for a comfier seat, etc etc, make yourself do one tiny thing outside of your comfort zone (safely of course) every single day, before you know it you will be walking free of those crutches and saying a big fat goodbye to that wretched pain, your body will tell you if you have overdone it and then you listen, and rest a bit, and then you face the next day, before you know it the whole thing will become a distant memory, very best of luck to you, xxx
    • emma54673
      emma54673 Jackie_k

      Posted

      Yes I have an 8 year old daughter who I have to say has been an absolute God send! She's been moisturising my feet for me and drying between my toes bless her.  She's been off school today with the lurgy, I think she feels a bit rougher than she normally would as she thinks she's missing out as both mummy and daddy are home without her, however she's been tucked up in bed most of the day. So when it comes to the pregnancy analogy I hear what you're saying and I think you might be right. I'm not sure how it stands for more kids in the future my surgeon said it would be automatic c section. But that's a long way off. I'm definitely taking each da as it comes and noticing changes day by day. It's like watching a nature programme where they speed up the growing flower. Each day I notice an improvement. Today I got out of bed and forgot to use my leg aid for lowering leg out before I knew it I was stood up with no problems. I actually laughed out loud as I realised my leg aid was on the bedside table. I can't wait for it to be a distant memory. Xx
  • Jackie_k
    Jackie_k emma54673

    Posted

    Oh by the way I'm a 47 year old female who is normally a very together sort of girl, I cried non stop for 3 days when I came home from hospital!! It will pass xxxxx
  • daveoffshore
    daveoffshore emma54673

    Posted

    Hi Emma

    My heart goes out to you, you seem to be doing well keep going and take the advice of the people who have replied so far, I am yet to have the op so I understand what you are saying as I am worried already.

    take you time and keep strong inside you will succed.

    Good Luck Dave

    • emma54673
      emma54673 daveoffshore

      Posted

      Dave, 24 hours on this forum has provided me with the biggest emotional support I think I have ever had. Never been part of a forum before so didn't really know what to expect and stumbled across this one accidentally. The fact you're preparing yourself in advance is quite brilliant. I wish I had thought of it! 
  • shirley20506
    shirley20506 emma54673

    Posted

    Hi Emma.

    Think it's. Important to just go at a pace that suits you. I didn't go out for two weeks post op - until I had to go to doctors to have the staples out - just didn't feel ready. Week three I went for a walk around the garden every day, now week 4 hubbie is taking me out and we are having a 30 min walk each day (we live on a steep hill so he drives me to somewhere foster to walk). Haven't been for a coffee or anything yet. At the end of week 2 I was thinking I should be doing more - but now I think I was right to listen to my instincts. Still using two sticks most of the time - although I can walk without any a short distance. Again trusting my instincts - I had a long time of very little physical activity are op and feel I need to build up the muscles in my unooerated side as well as operated - using two sticks is keeping my posture good and avoiding limping. Again I' m going to trust my instincts as to when it's right to stop using both. We only get one chance to heal well - take your time. X

    • emma54673
      emma54673 shirley20506

      Posted

      I didn't have staples. I have dissolvable stitches so haven't had to go to the docs. The nurses have been twice to check blood pressure and measure leg swelling but no need to leave house for medical. I'm very aware of getting it right the first time. I think I will have another little bimble later, after my one last night my leg swelled like an elephant again. So will do another one after dinner again so I can just have my leg in the air. I'm mainly using one stick but using it on the opposite side to my operated one which seems to be keeping me up right. Keep up your walks. X
  • emma54673
    emma54673

    Posted

    Well I am really chuffed with myself. I went for another walk this evening down to the post box (I had a letter to post tonight!) after dinner. I waited until this time as last night I had a dose of elephantitus in my leg post walk and it absolutely wiped me out so slept much better. So I'm back now from what should be 3 minute walk, but is a 10-15 minute walk and I'm ready for a nap. I won't have one but I am looking forward to bed time. Thank you to all those who commented and gave me the courage and confidence to leave the front door. I'm not ready for a costa coffee yet and the dinner out my other half was trying to entice me with but the little walks are making me feel better, human and part of society. I'm holding him to his dinner invite though, and I'll make sure I get my monies worth!! Lol x
    • Mary8610
      Mary8610 emma54673

      Posted

      Keep up the good work .

      i went to physio today and he said my aches and pains are normal and to keep on exercising .

      mary

    • lindabowles
      lindabowles emma54673

      Posted

      Well done Emma.  Just do what you are doing and what you feel comfortable with. You will get there. Keep going x
    • emma54673
      emma54673 Mary8610

      Posted

      That's good news. I have to admit I'm not too good at remembering to do the exercises so I've now set alarms on my phone to remind me at intervals during the day. It's reassuring to know that the aches and pains are normal.
  • ginny35168
    ginny35168 emma54673

    Posted

    Hi emma!  You seem like you ar doing great in recovery.  Your anxieties sound like my old anxieties.  I am 43 post op almost 12 weeks TRHR.  I too thought of the exact same things.  Going out to eat know, i make sure i go with my foam pillow just in case.  the booths seem to low and sometimes tables arent available.  Also, the toliets are an issue.  I admit that I have peed standing up over the toliet because i was afraid it was too low for me and i wold be unable to get up.  When i started driving i was worried about someone parking too close to me so i parked way down where noone would park.  Trust me emma, your fears will go away.  I do think about all of these things still, but now, i have to laugh at some of them.  especially the toliets.  nothing like walking out of the bathroom with a wet pant leg.....  you just have to shrug it off.  confidence is valuable.  you will achieve this i promise!!  Ginny USA NJ
    • emma54673
      emma54673 ginny35168

      Posted

      Hi Ginny, it's very reassuring that I'm not the only one with these fears which before coming on this forum I thought I was. I have to admit I have just had a chuckle to myself thinking about walking around with pee sodden trousers. Oh well these things are sent to try us. I'm feeling much better about it. Not so apprehensive but my partner has taken the pressure off about leaving the house. Bless him, he genuinely didn't realise and think of all the potential issues. I've had him reading the comments and he was quite taken aback I think. We went for another walk tonight, this time twice as far. Oh my goodness when I got home I felt like I had been blasted in a full personal training session like I used to be! Every muscle down my left hand side was tight. Learning to walk again is exhausting.... Yet enjoyable. I had a first today too. I went up the stairs crutch free. I couldn't get back down. But I got up. cheesygrin
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