Fear for fears sake??

Hi. I found this group today as a search engine result and I'm really chuffed that I did.

I'm a 30 year old woman, in fact I had my 30th in hospital the day after my op, and had a left total hip replacement on Friday 13th March so almost 2 weeks ago. Following a few bladder issues I was discharged from hospital on Tuesday 17th.

I came home and and have being making steady progress. I am down to using just crutch around the house unless it's only 10 steps in which case I'm crutchless. I'm taking Naproxen in the mornings and at night, with just paracetamol during the day and a codeine for bed time. My dressings have been taken off and my left leg is swollen knee upwards like an elephant leg. It was all the way down to the ankle but sitting with my leg up reduced that. The stitches wound seems to be healing nicely although the skin has no feeling whatsoever. Night times are .....  Well they're really long and restless. I am sleeping on my back ok with the help of a v shaped maternity pillow and last night put a rolled up pair of trousers under my left knee as it staying straight was starting to ache, this seemed to help. The surgical stockings are driving me insane and I can't wait to be rid of them! They make my skin feel like it's burning! Showers no issues. Stairs no issues. A weird wobbly sensation in my groin if I forget to bend my knee. So where's the fear???

I am absolutely petrified of leaving the house. It's almost like a safety blanket. I begrudgingly left the house today as my other half was trying to organise something for our up coming nuptials and he wasn't getting anywhere. My face went white, and when we returned I had what I can only describe as a breakdown in tears that I didn't want to leave the house. My other half has been saying for about a week about going out for breakfast or for coffee or basically anything to get me out the house but I am sooo scared to go out. I've got all these what ifs running through my head.

what if whilst we're out I need the toilet? It will break the 90 deg rule.

what if the chairs aren't suitable for me to sit in whilst out so that I can lean back. It will break the 90 deg rule. 

What if I feel a twinge and am not in a position that I can sit until it relaxes?

i don't think I have ever done anything this mentally taxing in a long time. I've just spent 2.5 years in agony, had keyhole surgery which didn't work and now this thr and Im scared about messing it up! 

Has anyone else had anxiety like this about going out or any other aspect of their post op recovery?

what did people do about going out?

ive tried discussing is with my other half but he just says if it was him he would want to be out and about and not stuck in doors so doesn't really understand.

thanks in advance

Emma

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