Feel awful anxiety levels so high caught in spiral been like this for last 2 weeks.hy

I can't sleeep tonight Jim I am so close to taking a lorazepam tablet.

Are you awake jim

What is lorazepam

It's a type of Valium 

I know exactly how you feel. I've suffered with anxiety for years. Not constantly, but have episodes which take longer and longer to recover from. Am on trazadone for anxiety which I take at night as it's supposed to help with insomnia. Have had diazepam 2mg when my mum died, but only 14 and no more. I wake up in the morning and then wow, butterflies like waiting for exam, dentist, driving test etc. anxiety for those reasons is normal. What's not normal is feeling like that 24/7. I start to get worse from about 4pm because I start to panic about not sleeping. My dr says "people don't die from not sleeping, accept you're an anxious person and you know this episode will pass like it always does". Easier said than done.. I did do a short course in anxiety management. I've been on a waiting list for CBT for ages. I could pay privately and get seen tomorrow, but I don't agree with private medical care, but that's only my opinion.

i am currently going through a self help book on CBT, which has really helped, it's a bit like 'idiots guide to CBT' but it's in laymans language and easy to follow. I know some people will knock it as it's not the proper thing, but I don't care and as I've said it's helped me understand anxiety, and myself, and that I'm not alone and abnormal.

your medication can take up to about three weeks to kick in, so don't panic and think it's not working. Hope you feel better soon

I try to read CBT Books but find it so hard to concentrate on anything at the moment feel like I'm running round like a headless chicken for help & answers doing jobs around the home anything trying to distract this awful feeling then trying to do relaxation cd really feels like I'm going mad when will it stop? Are you working at the moment I'm on holiday at the moment until 7th Sept anxious I wont be well enough to go back &. Hold job down I want to go though cause that's normal.

Karen I should have said about CBT books when you're starting to feel better, when your meds start to work.

No I'm lucky that I don't have to work. My last job was assistant practice manager at a drs surgery!!! was fine for a couple of years until the anxiety started and I ended up being signed off work for 2 months. My manager kept pestering me about when I was coming back to work, which made me even worse. My gp said I needed another month before going back as I wasn't quite ready. Looking back, I returned too soon and reacted badly with a patient who was shouting, swearing and threatening me personally because the Dr wouldn't give him more methadone. Moment of madness, told my manager I shouldn't have to put up with that and it had upset me. I pointed out to her about zero tolerance to staff and she just said s**t happens, deal with it and forget it. I handed my notice in there and then and walked out.

i fully understand how you feel about returning to work, you'll feel more anxious. Only you know if you're well enough to work properly. I should have listened to my dr. I know several people who've gone back too early and ended up having more time off.

you have an illness and are taking medication to help you recover. Ask yourself "would I be asking for help and worrying about work if I'd broken my leg, or had an operation?" Ive learned over the years that people with mental health problems are discriminated  at work which just adds more anxiety (but that's another story, I'm a volunteer now helping others through the same thing)

take me care and sorry for the long reply

I enjoy listening to you you sound such a kind sensible person. Trying to be really positive today doing things I would normally do. Haven't got the car today so will have a walk up to my mum & dads & see how they are ( dad had chemo yesterday, then a friend is picking me up and taking me back to hers for lunch with another work colleague( it would be so easy to say no I'm not coming) but im trying to carry on.

That's excellent Karen it's good that ur trying ur best

It's a good feeling doing the thing you love.

Unfortunately at the moment it just feels like I'm going through the motions rather than enjoying.i must sound so miserable I'm sure I haven't  always been like this but it's hard to remember the last time I felt relaxed and really good about doing something.

You've got an excellent approach, doing things to keep you occupied . The fact that you're going for lunch with colleagues shows you've got a positive attitude. It is very easier to say "no thanks I've made other plans, got the drs, got stomach ache, waiting for a parcel". I've used them all. Some people are kind and at one time I thought I had loads and loads of friends. However the minute mental health issues are mentioned, depression/anxiety, it's amazing how some of them either didn't contact me, never returned texts and even one who crossed the road to avoid me. You soon realise who your true friends are and I'm lucky having them.

can you talk to your colleagues about how you feel, or are you just putting on a brave face? My only advice would be to only go back to work if you feel you can cope.

I am able to talk to them how I feel but some books say not to do that as you can fuel your anxiety by reminding yourself of your feelings. Just left my mum & dad can't believe how strong he is been he is the one with cancer but it's me who is falling to bits. My friend will be here to collect me soon wish I could feel calm and relaxed and be looking forward to it like I use to.

How old are you by the way? I am 49. Don't know why I need to know that, guess I'm just nosey,