1. Community
  2. Women's health
  3. Menopause

Feel like I've had a breakdown. Need encouragement!

Posted , 16 users are following.

brimbo67
brimbo67

Hi all, 

I'm just  47, was regular til last August, with no obvious peri signs, just lighter, shorter periods (4-5 days) for the past 7 years, when I missed a period for the first time. I had developed terrible constipation & felt very ill with it.  After that, by September, I literally don't know what happened. It was like my body literally went into shock & I ended up in hospital with a suspected heart attack. Uncontrollable body tremors, anxiety, panic attack, racing heart, dizzy, diahorea, pressure on my chest & throat, acid reflux. It wasnt a heart attack, but i continued to have these attacks almost daily for the next 3 months, with feeling woozy, nervous, spasms, jerking awake from sleep as soon as I'd nodded off, exhaustion, developed a dairy allergy, agonising reflux, sore tongue, 'lump in throat' tinnitus, vertigo, nausea, loss of balance, confusion, memory loss, stomach pain, chest tightness, breathlessness, joint pain, etc etc. I was so scared all the time!

Some of those symptoms eventually subsided, but then the dark suicidal depression, blurred, darkened vision, utter exhaustion, despair, doom, rock-bottom emotions, racing heart literally just walking to another room. I almost black out sometimes. I feel like I've 'lost' myelf, and have that 'out of body' feeling. I can feel some kind of 'cycle' still happening, & have had erratic bleeding, flooding, light, and missed periods. When I could manage to get to my doctor, I had blood tests and was told I was 'post-menopausal' which is ridiculous, and that 'it looks like you've come through it.' 

They chucked some HRT at me & anti-depressants, & anti-reflux & beta-blokas!!! I never take any meds normally. I tried the beta-blokas & had a horrific night, never again. I tried the anti-reflux but they made my head very very weird. Eventually I cut out dairy which stopped the reflux. I havn't used any thing else because of the side-effects, there's no way I could have felt more ill! I'd have had to have found a cliff to jump off!!

I've been in hospital 3 times. I havn't been able to work the whole time, we have a great coffee bar, which my husband & sons are now running. 

I can barely go out now because of the vertigo, disorientation and the feeling that nothing's real. 

I had a couple of strange thyroid tests back, but the endocrine Dr isn't worried about them. I've lost so much weight, I'm now 7st 13lbs (50kg), although I am making myself eat great food in spite of the nausea!! Test for Addisons disease came back fine. I'm eating good, taking cod liver oil, evening primrose & starflower oil, just started Menopace again (it was too hard on my stomach). 

Has anyone else felt this bad?? Is there anything I can do to ease the symptoms??

Got to say my family need the real me back. I'm the funny one that cheers everyone up, optimistic, creative. Now I feel like a crazy miserable shadow sad

5 likes, 51 replies

51 Replies

Prev Next
  • JoycieJane
    JoycieJane brimbo67

    Posted

    Not that it changes anything but you are NOT alone! The one thing that has given me the will to fight is these forums and knowing that there are so many women out there going through the same. I can relate to all your symptoms. HRT works brilliantly for me apart from the fact it makes me lactose intolerant - within 20 mins of having milk on my cereal I'd have violent cramps, pass out and then have diarrhoea & vomiting.  I'm trying to cut out dairy before trying it again. At present I'm trying the lady care magnet and to be fair I'm nowhere near as hot all the time, which is helping with sleep and energy levels. Because I'm sleeping better and have more energy I am able to exercise which makes me feel better about my general health and wellbeing. It's nowhere near as good as HRT but until I sort my lactose problem out I'm accepting the benefits. Anti depressants did absolutely nothing for me and was glad when my doc said to stop them. I have the same problem with beta blockers - feel out of body if that makes sense. I found Omeprazole for reflux worked. Hang in there, your family sound really supportive which is good. It's not for ever, though it might just feel like it! Take care x
    • brimbo67
      brimbo67 JoycieJane

      Posted

      Hi JoycieJane

      It's so nice that so many of you have replied to my little cry for help. 

      I don't know what the lady care magnet is. But it sounds like it helps?

      I'm not keen on hrt, although the boxes have been out of the cupboard on several occasions, because of having to come off them when I'm older, and having to do this all again when perhaps I'm not as strong. I don't know, it;s a complicated decision. Also two of my sisters got blood clots on hrt & had to come off. 

      Yes sleep is a biggy. I already hadn't slept properly for 18 years before all this. I'm finding is I'm really disciplined, turn off computer at 8pm, dim tne lights, have a herbal sleep drink or two, get to bed by 10pm, I think I do sleep better, But it's the discipline & routine lol!

      Thanks again xxx

  • 2blessed2bstressed
    2blessed2bstressed brimbo67

    Posted

    Haven't been on for a while, but I have to say that things are finally getting better for me. Started using essential oils. Made a huge difference for me. I won't take prescription drugs as for myself I feel like those pills are just a simple band aide with a bunch of crappy side effects that in the end make things worse. I have been where you are and felt like you are feeling, had every test known to man and every thing comes back normal, which is good, but that's what makes you feel like your crazy! Then there's this great forum that I only wish all women in our situations could find as it is so very helpful to us all to know that we are all in the same boat and that we are not crazy! So much good advice on here! Homeopathy is a very good way to go for this issue as well. Western medicine is a joke when it comes to women's health, especially peri/menopause. Anyways, hope this forum gives you some comfort and I wish you the best, it truly does get better. Not everyday is great, but at least now the good days out number the bad days.
    • brimbo67
      brimbo67 2blessed2bstressed

      Posted

      Hi love the name smile

      What essential oils were good for you? I would much rather go the homeopathic way xxx

  • shaznay96184
    shaznay96184 brimbo67

    Posted

    Heh Kiddo, you sound like you're right up against it!  Well you'll definintely get some sound advice on this forum, so chin up kid, we're all in this together!

    Sorry to hear that you've had such a cr*p time of it, especially don't like to hear how low you've been.  Depression is a terrible thing for anyone to endure. I don't know personally, but believe me when I say that I and my sister have  had a very hands-on experience of our eldest sister's on-going mental health issues for the  past 13yrs.  Very draining.

    Anyone who's ever read my posts will gleen that I'm not a fan of SSRIs or prescriibed meds at all.  That's just me, and probably aided and abetted by our sister's state.  However, and this is a very big 'however', without her (very strong, great cocktail) of anti-psychotic meds, I don't even like to think where our sister would be now. 

    For me, I believe that these meds have helped our sister lead a much better quality of life.( She's 71 now, took HRT which  she loved, but she's always been our 'fragile' sister).  We've seen her when she stopped taking them because she felt that good, that she thought she could 'cope' without: she was Sectioned.  She couldn't understand that she was coping just because of them.

    But she's never, ever felt suicidal, and that's very sad to read that you say you have. 

    I think you need to go back to your Doc and tell them exactly what you've told us.  There must be something they can give you, a right combination of SSRIs and maybe some HRT (if that's your bag?), but you shouldn't have to feel like this. 

    You sound like you have a loving family.  Sometimes they can direct you to the right help but can't give it to you themselves (that's how me and my sister see it:  we watch the signs and then get the help of the professionals for our sister) - we're just eyes and ears and her sister, that's all.

    I don't know what the future of my Peri holds for me, but I ain't gonna be a Martyr to it. 

    I hope you go see someone who can help you, as we 'Sisters' on here hate to read posts that are very upsetting.  Hope you find a way out of your black cloud. Let us know how things are going for you.

    Sx 

    • brimbo67
      brimbo67 shaznay96184

      Posted

      Thank you shaznay. thanks for your concern. The suicidal thing won't actually happen. I'm pretty strong & have an amazing family. It's not there all the time, the different symptoms seem to be on some kind of hormonal cycle. I can almost tell what's coming next. Like I said I'm the family optimist as life's too short to be pessimistic. So this is definitely not me! But yeh so overwhelming when it comes. I'm just starting B vitamins & Menopace again, now I can stomach them. Hoping for some positive results. Want to have my  blood checked for deficiencies too, when I can manage to get to the docs. This blooming vertigo. 
    • shaznay96184
      shaznay96184 brimbo67

      Posted

      I think we have that bloody Eve to thank for all this cr*p!!smile

      Glad you're feeling on the up. I'm swearing by my Menopace:  hope they cheer you up too!

      Sx

  • margaret04348
    margaret04348 brimbo67

    Posted

    Hi there just read your post and apart from your terrible anxiety I can relate. I do get anxious but not as bad as yourself.  Other symptoms I get too...terrible upset tummy, dizzyness and sickness.  Shivers, shaking, tingling in hands headaches and bladder probs.  I have thoought I was dying at times.  I have had bloods done and I am in meno but the Docs refuse to accept my symptoms are related to this; so frustrating.  I have also had UTI's!!  It is such a difficult time but I get lots of support from here and feel I am not alone.  Espcially inportant for me as I am single.  I too am the one usually looking after others and always happy and well but not just now; although I do try and be positive.  Keep in touch with this forum; it will help you get through this. Take care.XXXX
    • brimbo67
      brimbo67 margaret04348

      Posted

      Hello Margaret

      Thank you for your reply. This last 6 months have been the worst of my life. Almost given up a few times. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm deficient in something, so I've started B complex. Going to order some calcium, magnesium, zinc too as lots of women recommend it. Hoping it will all make a difference. Thank you for your support xxxxxx

    • margaret04348
      margaret04348 brimbo67

      Posted

      Hi, I take vit B complex too alongside a multi vit, vit c, ginseng Rainforest Macca and cranberry tablets.  Vit D is also meant to be good but each one of us just has to try things out and see what happens.  I feelmy supplements don't rid me of the symptoms but do reduce them. You have a plan so good for you.  Taking control a bit helps too on an emotional level.  Good luck with it.XXX
  • caroleUJ62
    caroleUJ62 brimbo67

    Posted

    Hi Brimbo,  

    I have had most of the problems you are having.  I have to say the completely uncontrollable panic attacks are the worst thing. Probably the next worst thing is the almost continuous sometimes not so heavy, sometimes very heavy period. Have got one now, had it for about a month, and its got steadily heavier. Giving me alot of general back ache.

    I an not on HRT. I was a bit hypothyroid, and was put on levothyroxine, but then I had the most awful palpitations, even worse than the worse I've got now if thats at all possible, so I told my doctor I thought I should stop, which I did. So far my thyroid function blood tests are OK.  

    I am pretty anemic. I hadnt had a period for about three months, and towards the end of last year, because I was still so anemic my doctor sent me for a colonoscopy and endoscopy to rule out cancer.  I ws so freaked by all of this that for about 4 weeks - unfortunately over Christmas and New Year, I was convinced I was dying so I spent most of this time avoiding people, and obsessing about all the different types of gastrointestinal cancer it might be.

    The tests came back negative - so thats one scare out of the way.

    I was put on iron tablets for the anemia, but they made my stomach and gut hurt so much - I get IBS anyway, that I had to come off them.  I take tranexamic acide twhich helps a bit.

    Am going for an endometrial ablation - I was booked in for one about six months ago, but cancelled. I have some of morbid fear of general anaestheia, but I really think now that I have no choice.

    My sister in law who is nearly five years older than me - I'm 52, sympathises, says yes, its an absolutely awful thing to go through and shes just so glad shes on the other side of it, and that, yes, life does much better afterwards.

    I too have landed up in A and E - hospital 3 times in the last three months my panic was so bad, - thought I was having a heart attack, had loads of tests, - always came back Ok.  My local A and E dept must be sick of the sight of me!

    So glad to have found this forum.  Just having access to this and hearing other ladies stories is really helping!

  • mel64317
    mel64317 brimbo67

    Posted

    O you poor soul, I experienced just a quarter of what you're going through, a few years ago now......and found myself at the doctors surgery BEGGING for HRT ! I'm not a pill taker normally, but was 52, had a very demanding job and life....and just could not fit " the change" in !! No time, and even less inclination......

    it's finding the right combination of drug or vitamin complex.....and a doctor sympathetic to the cause, but it really was my salvation...I could not function without

    it. I know of it's obvious risks.......and have "weaned" myself off it now and I'm pretty good ! It gave my body the support it needed in crisis, and allowed it to get used to the idea....but my advice to you is keep a diary of your feelings and illness and keep on at the doctors until they help you.....Change your doctor if you need to...sometimes they can become too familiar with you... women DO NOT need to feel like this anymore.......

    my very best wishes to you, hope you get the result you need and deserve.

    • caroleUJ62
      caroleUJ62 mel64317

      Posted

      Thanks ever so much Mel.  I have a Drs appt this Friday so will mention HRT then.  I actually dont work currently.  I had plans to start a Masters course with the OU this year and try to get some part time teaching again - I have done lecturing before. However, with all this going on I just feel too ill to do anything but the necessary chores and watch a bit of TV.  My son aged 17 is getting more and more impatient with me. I think he thinks its all psychological, and when I want to rest because of the anemia he just gets annoyed.

      My ironic thing is, my mother in law used to be a specialist in gyneaocology, and an advocate for HRT for most women going through the menopause. She wrote books about it, and was interviewed on radio four. She was a 'big noise' in the gyneaocology world. I did ask my GP about it once but she said its just not advised for women over the age of 45 because of 'the risks', but I'll press her more about this.

      Keeping a diary sounds like a good idea too. You are right, women shouldnt have to feel like this if there is help available.

      Best wishes

  • mel64317
    mel64317 brimbo67

    Posted

    ....and there IS help out there...Ok HRT carries its risks...but so does asprin ! and it's not for everyone given different medical issues....but it's not the ONLY solution and with the right information and sympathy you make an informed choice...

    For me...Hey...if I'd had to choose 10 years of life ON HRT feeling like "me" or 20 years feeling like hell as I did without it...guess which one I'd choose..??

    and that whole, feeling low, no zest for life, what to stay under the duvet thing is all part of what I call " God's little joke on us girls" !!! The change...! Now I'm through....and my body has gotten used to idea...I'm fine, truly....no more joint aches,  " monthlies" no more faffing about with contraception...O the freedom...!!!

    make them sit up and listen to you hun, all the very best.

  • jo92050
    jo92050 brimbo67

    Posted

    Hi brimbo67,

    Yes yes and yes, you have written my story exactly even to how it started back in October 2013, I am 53.  My last proper period was September 2013 and it was exaclty 1 month after that when the next one was due that all this started.  I lost 25 kilos in about 6 months, was told I am intolerant to everything but once my tummy settled down, nearly 1 year after it started, I started experimenting, it seems it is only all dairy (but I can eat bread which has milk solids), some fruit and herbs and spices, tomoatoes that affect me and coffee.  I got down to 50 kilos, over the last 5 months I have gone back up to 55 kilos and seem to be stable now.  Through this I have not been able to take anything as my stomach didnt like anything, would get shocking refux and gas, I couldnt even take a pain killer.  

    I had 2 kind of weird periods in 2014 and I have just passed 7 months without anything.  Around September last year I sarted to come good, still had heaps of symptoms but not as severe and not as many but unfortunately, the last month it seems they all seem to be coming back and all of them and I notice that the anxiety which had really calmed down, can if I let it creep back and hit me.

    It is all a waiting game for those that cant take anything to help the symptoms and just take one day at a time and if you feel you cant do things, dont do them, if you need to lie down just do it without feeling bad.  I like you I was always the one to cheer every one up, always optimistic and the idiot but I lost myself for a long time, slowly though I have come back and determined that in spite of everything I will not let myself be in the dark place I was in.

    I hope all goes well for you and your transition will not be too much harder on you...

    hugs Jo xx

     

    • brimbo67
      brimbo67 jo92050

      Posted

      Thanks jo92050

      It's the not knowing how long the worst of it will last. My life has been on hold for 6 months, & I still feel very ill. The weight loss is shocking, I wasn't big to start with & I'm around 48 kilos now. I've aged so quickly, I'm having to get used to the sudden change! I know it will improve & I will come out the other side...... but for goodness sake I never thought it could be like this! Thanks for the encouragement xxx

Back to top
Prev Next

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.