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I'm in my mid-twenties and am female. I have suffered with anxiety and depression since I was a teenager, tried CBT and Fluoextine and Citalopram. Came off Citalopram at the beginning of the year, and have been anti-d free since.
Everything has been going great, I started a new job, have been exercising lots and eating healthily, and my mental attitude has been much better and I have been feeling positive about myself and life.
At my last job, where I'd been for many years, there was often a weird musty smell around a space about 12 foot square, and my colleagues always joked it was an elderly coworker. People sitting immediately around me were forever sneezing, sniffing and complaining of a bad smell. No one ever told me it was me or hinted or anything, and I am a clean person so thought it couldn't be me. An outspoken girl said it smelt "unpleasant" and like "sweaty salmon" on a few occasions. One time she sprayed deodorant into the air. She sat about 8 foot from me.
I started my new job and over the past few weeks I have noticed a weird smell near where I sit but only when I walk away and come back a few minutes later. To me it smells like an onion-y smell. People walking past my desk constantly sniff literally as they walk past my desk.
Yesterday a colleague said it smelt like gone off food, and today she looked at me, called another colleague over and whispered but I heard the words "smells"and "pi55" and she asked the other girl if she could smell it too and she agreed.
About a week ago, the other girl was talking about someone using the communal toilets and leaving urine all over the seat and she said how "that person must be getting lots of it on themselves too". Again, I didn't twig as I never leave urine on the seat and always make sure I clean myself thoroughly.
I use public transport to commute in to work and people on the train around me constantly sniff. Last week an elderly man sat behind me and sniffed literally every five seconds for the whole journey. I thought it must be because I smell and I was getting so paranoid and hurt, I wanted to turn around and punch him (I would never do anything like that).
Last week my manager asked me how I found the "hygiene" in the office which I thought was strange and then elaborated that he meant my commute. That made no sense but at the time it didn't click.
I shower every morning, wash my hair daily and use antipersperant and deodorant. I apply Perspirex nightly and use body spray and perfume. I clean sweaty areas regularly and carry change of underwear and wipes etc with me, I am so paranoid about my personal hygiene. I also started taking Chlorophyll supplements and reducing caffeine.
I do have greasy sebhorreic dermatitis but I'm treating it.
I think I do tend to be quite a sweaty person and my crotch does get sweaty but only usually when I work out, in which case everywhere else gets sweaty too.
Am I being paranoid?! No one has outright said that I smell, ever. This is making me so depressed, I feel humiliated, but I am a clean person. I feel suicidal. Please help me, I am really at the end of my tether, I am so unhappy. I don't feel like my family want to help, and I don't really have any close friends to talk to. This post is 100% serious.
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