Feel so depressed and paranoid - I think people think that I smell
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I'm in my mid-twenties and am female. I have suffered with anxiety and depression since I was a teenager, tried CBT and Fluoextine and Citalopram. Came off Citalopram at the beginning of the year, and have been anti-d free since.
Everything has been going great, I started a new job, have been exercising lots and eating healthily, and my mental attitude has been much better and I have been feeling positive about myself and life.
At my last job, where I'd been for many years, there was often a weird musty smell around a space about 12 foot square, and my colleagues always joked it was an elderly coworker. People sitting immediately around me were forever sneezing, sniffing and complaining of a bad smell. No one ever told me it was me or hinted or anything, and I am a clean person so thought it couldn't be me. An outspoken girl said it smelt "unpleasant" and like "sweaty salmon" on a few occasions. One time she sprayed deodorant into the air. She sat about 8 foot from me.
I started my new job and over the past few weeks I have noticed a weird smell near where I sit but only when I walk away and come back a few minutes later. To me it smells like an onion-y smell. People walking past my desk constantly sniff literally as they walk past my desk.
Yesterday a colleague said it smelt like gone off food, and today she looked at me, called another colleague over and whispered but I heard the words "smells"and "pi55" and she asked the other girl if she could smell it too and she agreed.
About a week ago, the other girl was talking about someone using the communal toilets and leaving urine all over the seat and she said how "that person must be getting lots of it on themselves too". Again, I didn't twig as I never leave urine on the seat and always make sure I clean myself thoroughly.
I use public transport to commute in to work and people on the train around me constantly sniff. Last week an elderly man sat behind me and sniffed literally every five seconds for the whole journey. I thought it must be because I smell and I was getting so paranoid and hurt, I wanted to turn around and punch him (I would never do anything like that).
Last week my manager asked me how I found the "hygiene" in the office which I thought was strange and then elaborated that he meant my commute. That made no sense but at the time it didn't click.
I shower every morning, wash my hair daily and use antipersperant and deodorant. I apply Perspirex nightly and use body spray and perfume. I clean sweaty areas regularly and carry change of underwear and wipes etc with me, I am so paranoid about my personal hygiene. I also started taking Chlorophyll supplements and reducing caffeine.
I do have greasy sebhorreic dermatitis but I'm treating it.
I think I do tend to be quite a sweaty person and my crotch does get sweaty but only usually when I work out, in which case everywhere else gets sweaty too.
Am I being paranoid?! No one has outright said that I smell, ever. This is making me so depressed, I feel humiliated, but I am a clean person. I feel suicidal. Please help me, I am really at the end of my tether, I am so unhappy. I don't feel like my family want to help, and I don't really have any close friends to talk to. This post is 100% serious.
17 likes, 165 replies
jo44371 depressed21652
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solutions22167 depressed21652
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There is a disorder called Olfactory Reference Syndrome, and patients suffering from this disorder constantly believe that they are emitting a foul or offensive odor and other people are taking notice. They mistake others' actions as being a confirmation that they smell bad. These actions could include sniffing, touching their noses, opening a window, etc. These actions do not confirm a malodorous smell but patients with the disorder believe it is a confirmation and experience debilitating anxiety and paranoia because of it.
Perhaps you should just ask someone who works with you if you are emitting an odor. As uncomfortable as that is, it would give you much relief to know that the smell is not coming from you. If someone tells you that you are emitting an odor, then you can take the necessary steps to solving the odor (it could very well be a dietary issue or an imbalance of your intestinal flora).
I wish you all the best
Relieved162834 solutions22167
Edited
I have been plagued with this for over a year now, but am happy to say that I finally now the truth. I am 100% certain that I have ORS and no physical ailments that would cause me to smell bad. I've been through everything these fellow sufferers have been through. The worst part by far is not knowing what is wrong with yourself, and the constant wondering why it is happening. Because we've all experienced life without this malaise, we lead ourselves to believe that there is no way "it's just in our heads". We feel betrayed when we ask those closest to us about how we smell and they answer "fine". But the truth is that we do smell fine. I was never sure if I actually smelled bad or not. I had my doubts. But then I would tell myself, "then why are all of these things happening", or "why would they act this way around me if I didn't smell bad". I now understand beyond a reasonable doubt that it truly WAS all in my head. I'm in college now, and I've been trying to make myself outwardly confident and have been braving every sniffle or every nose wipe. Every giggle and every whisper amongst peers. Because although I still notice these things, I understand that I have ORS, and that I should simply remain calm and outwardly confident. For those of you LONG time sufferers(over a year), I know it may be hard to adjust to this, but I am adamant that it will eventually go away. I am not in any medication, and do not plan to need it. Simply by reasserting myself into the world, and being confident, I can feel myself getting better. I no longer have panic attacks or lose my breath or feel doomed. I keep myself calm, and when walking through busy areas, I remind myself that I am perfectly fine, and I ignore all of the people around me and I focus on what I'm doing and where I'm going. I can feel my depression lifting, and I'm trying my hardest to get some precious social interaction. I want you all to know that you CAN get through this.
angela_51008 Relieved162834
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Kindest regards
A
simon1975mar depressed21652
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It can be very hurtful, to think that other people think you smell. I have personal experience of this ...
From what you say, I think that it may well be a case of you over-thinking it! So, it may well be paranoia. Now that you think there's a problem, you're interpreting other people's comments in such a way as to reaffirm the problem! But it's probable there's no problem in the first place. As you say, no one has ever actually said you smell. If you did smell, it's likely that someone would have directly commented on it. The fact that some people sniff when sitting near you means nothing.
But, if you want to be sure, why not ask your GP? You mention that you're clean - but being hygienic doesn't mean that there might not be an underlying physical issue ... If there is, and it's causing you to smell, it's probably something that can be sorted out quickly.
However, I doubt that you actually smell.
kuntryboy217 depressed21652
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preti25001 kuntryboy217
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Relieved162834 kuntryboy217
Posted
I have the exact same condition... It is called Olfactory Reference Syndrome. Research it and I think you'll find that many of the things you are experiencing are the exact same as those plagued with ORS. I've been plagued with ORS for over a year now, and wasn't really sure what was wrong with me. I am finally 100% certain that I do NOT actually smell bad and that it truly IS all in my head. It's hard to accept that you have a mental disorder when you've lived all of your life without one. But you HAVE to accept it if you want it to get better. Trust me. I know how hard it gets. But you'll get through it. I am fighting it now, while in college. I wasn't sure I would go. I thought I might just throw away my full scholarship and live at home until it went away. And then I found out that I was suffering from ORS, not some condition that magically made me smell bad. Be brave, and be confident. Put yourself back into society. Weep not for the time you've lost, but be grateful that you can finally put this all behind you. I haven't had to use medication for my ORS, but you should see a professional if possible if you feel you need it to cope at first. Good Luck and God bless.
fahema88583 depressed21652
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Strawberry100 fahema88583
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preti25001 Strawberry100
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kuzza03987 preti25001
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Are you guys from the UK?
molly1900 depressed21652
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I had the same problem and I did a few things that made things better.
First off, I took probiotics in the morning (50billion, 4 strains) and yeast probiotic in the evening. I suspected I had a candida and yeast overgrowth that had taken over my body due to unhealthy eating habit for a long time and various antibacterial treatments for my acne ( I took accutane for a long time). Both situations depleted the good yeast and bacteria in my body and the bad virulent ones took over and invaded my system. The result was that each time I sweat, or ate food (especially sweet food) for that matter, I fed the parasites and the by-product of their metabolisms would make my body stink.
those remedy helped a lot. I also started using an anti-perspirant at night and after a week, I no longer was sweating in my armpit.
You should also go see a doctor if you can and explain that you sweat profusely, you have a foul body odor and you suspect there is some underlying condition causing all of your symptoms. Ask to be checked for diabetes, hypothryroidism, etc.
Hope you get better. It sucks to be singled out like this and to hear nasty comments all day long everyday. Hang in there, it WILL get better!
xoxo
marketing061392 molly1900
Posted
I also suffer from it. No one really tell me it's me except one lady who said every time I pass by you you smell like poop. I also clean my self, I bring wet wives when I go to bathroom etc.
I have taken a consider amount of antibiotics before. I wonder if that's the cause of my smell (I can't smell it but they can). I have found the 50 billion probiotic you take in my local GNC store. Could you please let me know what is the Yeast Probiotics you take every night . Please share so I can also get better! Thank you!!!!
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Thank you again
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liz57574 molly1900
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Is there anyways you can name all the products you took and how often. Im desperate and depressed as well and it suck to hear its in your head when the stigma is overwhelming.
adriennes6654 marketing061392
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