Feel so depressed and paranoid - I think people think that I smell

everything u have written is the same with my problem..i cant even get a job. im making the whole floor smell. i researh a lot about this and i found out that theres no cure. i tried this green tea soap it helps sometimes..just get enough sleep ok.right now im 27 jobless and my partner want if out of the house.if only i can die today.

Hi sweetie!! I too am experiencing the same boat you're in. My showers are so thorough that I can't understand how can I smell. Im so tired of hearing the sniffles and little comments. If someone was to see my shower routine you would swear you could eat off of me. I've spent so much money on shower gels lotions and deodorants. I even went so far as to throwing all of my clothes away and start fresh. Seems like every deodorant would make me smell musty so I started using unscented and washing mid day at work just to make sure. I would even bring panties and bra and even a new shirt just to be on the safe side. Its a real self esteem destroyer especially when you know how clean you are. But how do you convince someone else when all they know, is that you smell!!! I began to pray and asked God to help me. I thought for a moment that I was cursed. I remember quitting a job because of the bullying, only to go to another job with the same problem. I couldnt understand how people could smell me and I just got to work. I'm praying for you because I don't want you to give up.

If you think about it, you're very clean, you wear perfume and deodorant, you wash yourself and your hair daily.

You probably leave a nice scent around, and people want to keep smelling it? When I find a good scent somewhere, I would keep sniffing until I'm satisfied haha 

You had no problem with your colleagues joking about an elderly worker whom you thought smelled...you all joked about it One colleague actually sprayed deodorant into the air! Did you worry about person's feelings?  

Hi Everyone, (I have to apologize for my English, it is certainly not the best, but you will get all I am trying to share)

I feel you all my sisters and brothers, I really feel you;

In fact this body odor stuff is serious issue that has poisoned my existence for a good while now.

But I have decided to keep my head up and not to give up. I am full convinced sharing in platforms like these can be a first step toward a definitive solution to this problem.

Let me tell you my story my dear sisters and brothers.

I grew up and spent the first 25 years of my life in my native France with a mother whose sense of hygiene was exceptional and sometime annoying. Taking a shower least twice a day, brushing your teeth after every meal including any type of snacks, using cool mints antiseptics in addition to toothpaste, using deodorant and spray when knowing you have to meet other people, never repeating clothes, changing underwear at every showers and washing used underwear with chlorine and etc.… So from this very strict education on body and self-care, hygiene became almost an obsession for me and is still. Thinking of any related to body odor was not even possible since I knew how caring I was with my body and my personal items. Also, no one in my milieu, I mean no one ever mentioned anything related to a possible body odor, nor family, nor friends, nor classmates, nor teachers, nor girlfriend, nor mates in the gym, nor people in the bus, nor fellows in the subway, train or plane, nor people in the dance club, nor people in the shopping center, nor people in the restaurants, nor people in the Church, nor anyone ever. Instead what I was receiving hourly were compliments for the beautiful scent of my cosmetics, particularly my cologne (fairly expensive and one of the most popular in France).

BUT, when I came to live in Boston MA, for studies and work, there my nightmare began. From my very first days interacting with people I noticed most of them were sniffing, scratching their nose or making some insulting and scorning grimace when I was around. At first, I tried to convince myself of the fact that this was just a coincidence, but as time came to pass, I came to the conclusion that something was wrong with me. It was surprising though because in my whole life I never really witness such an attitude from people toward me. Awesomely (then), a young lady with whom I was starting a research project was courageous enough to tell in her opinion, I was using very strong and maybe offensive cosmetics and that such could lead people to cough, sneeze and all the rest… I was very touched by her sincerity but worried though because in my whole 25 years of life this was coming as news. I have used nearly the same products in my whole life and they never posed a problem to anyone and suddenly they are posing a problem to nearly everyone (92%)???

At that point I was still calm since she never mentioned that my body was the problem but my cosmetics. It nonetheless became a challenge for me since I was faced with living without using all my cosmetics which were always part of my hygiene principles. So I decided to use only an unscented armpits antiperspirant and deodorant. I knew I would not feel comfortable with that but I had no option since I saw such a measure as the only solution for people to offer a sincere smile when they see me. But believe me, nothing really changed and people were still performing the same gestures when I was present. So I was quite confused and could tell where the problem was now coming from. So I went back to the sole use of scented deodorant and antiperspirant but the scenario was the same and even worst sometime. I then went back to my normal spray without cologne, but to no avail. I left the spray to use the cologne alone and in a very minimal quantity, no change. I looked for antiseptic bathing soap but nothing change. I took bath with baking soda, essential oil and had no result, people were still scratching their nose at my coming. I washed my armpits with medical alcohol but nothing happened. I decided to leave everything and to have only a clean shower morning, afternoon and evening but people were still performing the same grimace. I became so sad that I was falling into depression because I was having a feeling of guilt. I also decided to exclude myself from any social and interactive milieu where I was not obliged to be present. The was scenario in all this was when I just came out from a fresh shower one day after used all the nice bathing good smelling items just for me to go open the door to some technicians who were coming for some reparations and seeing all of them performing the same grimace. Deep within me I was like, common Bros, I am just from taking a fresh shower and you still find me smelling. From this time I took the decision to go and see a Dermatologist. But before that, I called a good number of family members and friends back home and courageously asked them if they ever noticed an offensive body odor from me in the past. To my surprise, they all told me the amount of time I spent taking care of myself could only make one to feel as being near me all the time. I shared with them the agony I was going through and all of them told me I was kidding. So at that point I decided to traveled back to my native country and spend two weeks to see what the problem was. During the first days, I went back to my very old habits of using spray, deodorant, cologne and etc…  All I received were compliments and my family thought I had nothing to discuss when I called them. During the rest of the time I changed ways alternating the used of various cosmetics just the way I did in Boston when looking for a solution, yet I had no negative remark or grimace, nor from family nor from society. I hugged people, I stayed with people in the car, the elevators, the office, the room keeping and maintaining my old habits of hygiene and nobody ever complained, instead I received compliments when one or two could perceived the scent of my cologne or spray. So I said thanks be to God the problem is resolved, so I decided to return to Boston and to my great surprise grimaces, sneezing, coughing, sniffing were back and this despite the variation in my use of cosmetics.

For a time I thought the cosmetics were the one posing the problem, but I meet people who use even stronger cosmetics (lotion, perfumes, cologne, spray) but no one twist their face at their presence. What then is the problem with me and my cosmetics? But even when I decide not to use any cosmetics people still behave the same; they still perform the same grimace.  

In fact Sisters and Brothers, my story is a long and puzzling one, I live just as if I am twisted in a social because I don’t want to meet people again. I can also say they (the people) are the problem, for not only one person performs this grimace but nearly everyone, so the problem must be with me, but why is it that I can see it?

Kindly forgive me for the length of this comment; you cannot imagine how relieved I feel just by sharing with you guys. This issue has poisoned my life but I refuse to give up, yes I feel sometime depressed and I exclude myself from others, but the time has not yet come to give up and leave.

I have just thrown everything about me and this issue, maybe someone will see in between my lines where the problem comes from. Writing is a therapy too and someone can always decode what the problem is from what we say, because as for me I still would not see what the problem is really.

Please if you happen to feel me just let me know and courage to all Sisters and Brothers who are sharing my condition. 

I really hope you still alive please hold on you are not alone. please...

Change your deodrant, I've noticed some do after while smell a little like pee. Also check you are not leaking, Its very common that the Urethral sphincter relaxes a little to much and will leak a small amount without you really noticing. Also how is your sense of smell?

I have the same problem. I remember it starting like this, I remember having urinary incotinence(bed wetting) problems as a kid probably 8/9yrs. old. I remember I would attend school not showering, and would just change my clothes sometimes. ( I know so bad) So one day I just remember my teacher sending me home to shower up, because I smelled. I just remember crying so bad and my mom scolded me for not showering.

From that day on, best believe I became very aware of my hygiene, applied perfume and became pretty obssesive at a young age. Fast forward in Middle school at around 8th grade was when I hit rock bottom. My so called "crush" called me out in front of his friends that I was "ugly fat, and smelled bad" I was roughly around 14 (last year of middle school, 8th grade) so as a young teen already feeling a bit insecure it was just debilitating. And worst thing is I believed him. I constantly told myself I was ugly, fat and I smelled.

I was transitioning into High School, oh great! My friends ditching me on the first day of high school, I recall having a full set of panic attacks around age 15, because I had no one. I developed this fear of being put in social situations. My parents realized I was super depressed because I would just cry to them, because everyone seemed to have friends, and I was that kid who isolated themselves in class.

Anyways, I remember eating in the bathroom stalls in a secluded bathroom in our high school my first year during lunch, next to an art room building. NEVER DO THAT. PLEASE. I remember one day, roughly halfway through the school year, as I was on my way to my "secret lunch spot" running into an old middle school pal. She said join me and my sister for lunch! I told her all my problems, and she supported and assured me I did not smell. She helped me to a certain degree. But my parents told me I had to go see a doctor. I started seeing a Physciatrist who prescribed me on anti-meds to calm my "social phobia". It worked for the time being but not entirely. I noticed an extreme reduction in panic attacks. I survived feeling so much better the next 3 years, Sophomore, Junior and Senior year. I had a blast and I wish I couldve gotten help sooner. I graduated high school around 18yrs old with a small group of friends. I still have that one friend who knew I had an obsession with not smelling bad. I stopped taking my antidepressants and got a job as a cashier. It was god awful at times because of my anxiety, but communicating with people became easier! I stayed at that job probably until age 19 1/2. I lost my job, and went back to college. Its hard. I have to say that ever since being off the meds its been getting a bit worse, but my reoccuring thoughts are coming back from when I was little.

Now that I am a bit older, 21 I am realizing this is all a mind thing. I am currently working on changing my thoughts because that can truly be our own worst enemy. I would recommend for anyone going through this to just stop reading too much into peoples reactions, and seek professional help into changing your thoughts. After doing a lot of studying I realized what my problem was. I dont smell. The reason why we might smell a bit off sometimes is because of our anxiety. Anxiety stinks, literally, but we can manage that! I am following up with a doctor and letting her know the truth of what Ive been thinking all these years. I really do think its not us who smell, but the anxiety we are putting onto ourselves. Our thoughts is what is causing that anxiety. If anyone is interested I literally ran into a video of a lady on Youtube called "Anxiety Stinks, Literally". That explained my past! It explains so much. As long as we practice on reducing our negative talk/breathing/and obsessive thoughts. We can overcome this. Good luck to anyone reading this and feel free to contact me if you have any concers, or need support from a friend who actually knows what youre going through. ) Bless you all guys.