Feeling depressed

Posted , 12 users are following.

Hi all, I haven't posted on here for a while, but today I'm feeling very depressed. I've been on Pregabalin for a few years, and until recently was aware of the slight euphoric effect it had. I've also been on double dose of Prozac for a number of years. (I have had clinical depression for longer than I've had fibro). But lately I've been thinking about death and dying, and close family members dying, and my own death. I don't know where this preoccupation has come from, except that my brother in law died in August. My pain level is quite low at the moment but the fatigue is awful. I don't feel like doing anything or going anywhere. Can anyone out there make me feel better? x

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30 Replies

  • Posted

    I lost my mother in January to cancer and it still not sunk in has there is arguing in the family about her estate and that. I know how you feel about thoughts of dying and family members to dying. I have a rough few years my depression started when I had my children but I hit rock bottom when my grandson died at 22 days old. We have to take it one day at a time if you feel you need to see your docter go has you need a little more help with this maybe talk it through with someone but look after yourself hugs to you ☺
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    • Posted

      Hi Mandy, thanks for your reply. So sorry to hear about your mothers death, and the arguing over her estate. And also your grandson dying. That must have been awful. I'm sure I will feel better again; from past experience, it's just that I haven't felt so low in a long time. Hugs to you too. x

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  • Posted

    Hi jeanne81532,

    Hey sounds like your having a Bruno Mars day !

    Get the ice cream out or make yourself a hot chocolate put on your favourite movie and put your feet up. Sometimes a little break from the norm can help divert your thoughts.

    We've all been so we know and understand your situation.

    Take care KS

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  • Posted

    Hi Jeanne, I understand how you're feeling because I'm in the same dark place. My fibromyalgia is bad and earlier in the year I was hospitalised with pneumonia which was very scarey. I now have restless leg syndrome which is driving me to distraction.

    We need to stay strong and know that there are people thinking of us and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Take care xx

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  • Posted

    Hi! I don't think that what you're thinking about is entirely uncommon. I know I spent a good few months after the loss of each of my grandparents with my mind also preoccupied about death and dying whether it was about myself or other people. Eventually I came out of it. I guess the worry would be if it goes on for too long and at the moment your brother in laws death in august is still quite fresh. See how you go over the next month.

    Sometimes when our minds are preoccupied with things it's good to focus on things that can help bring you back into the present and what is going on around you at that moment. Even simple things like listening to the birds singing can just get your brain out of a preoccupied moment. That's what I've used when I've dealt with anxiety or my 'morbid thoughts'.

    Have you tried walking? Perhaps go for a gentle walk, walk around the block, just get walking, maybe get a walking buddysmile It's good for depression and gentle enough for fibromyalgia sufferers.

    My daughter is 14 and has been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and I've suffered with bouts of M.E.

    We walk together, it helps a lotsmile

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    • Posted

      Hi Melanie, thanks for your post. You say a lot of sensible things! Unfortunately I'm unable to walk more than a few metres without pain, but I do miss being outside. I have thought about getting a mobility scooter. Hearing birds singing is one of my small pleasures. Thank you for your kind and caring words. x

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    • Posted

      Oh wow, your pain is "quite low" but currently stopping you from walking more than a few meters? I would hate to see it when it's moderate, or high. sad

      Without exercise, Fibro usually just gets worse and worse. It sure hurts to exercise, and we often don't have enough energy, but many patients find over time their energy level improving, as well as pain levels, and mood. It's just hard to start. Even walking around the block or even down the front path and back is better than nothing.

      When my grandmother died earlier this year, after 40+ years of being very close, I had terrible thoughts about death. Not necessarily wanting to die, just preoccupation with "the big questions", like what life is all about, what's the point, what actually matters and what doesn't, etc. I'm definitely not out of the woods yet, but one thing I found worked was forcing myself to experience the "now", and stay out of that headspace. When I'm healthier and happier, perhaps I'll go look at those dark thoughts and questions again, but for now I'm making myself focus on the little things, getting healthy, eating properly, and learning as much as I can.

      Since you can't get outside lately, are you at least taking your vitamin D supplements? This is so important. All the best.

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    • Posted

      Hi drutter, when I said my pain level was quite low, I meant at rest. I also have osteoarthritis which limits my mobility as much as the fibro. But actually in the days since I first posted, my pain has increased, but strangely my mood has lightened a lot, and I feel much better in myself. I do take a Vit D supplement as I was tested about 18 months ago, and my level was very low. 

         Your words make a lot of sense, and I think I've been trying to do as you say you are doing anyway. Thank you x

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    • Posted

      Sorry to hear about all that pain. A lot of my Fibro / neurological pain has been relieved since I went off gluten. That wasn't an easy lifestyle change to make but you couldn't get me to undo it now. My energy is coming back, too, and my guts are happier.

      Most people can take 5000 units of Vitamin D3 per day, or even quite a bit more. If you know your level is low, hopefully you're taking a decent amount, because vitamin D is extremely important with our conditions. smile

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  • Posted

    Hi Jeanne - I can totally relate to how vulnerable you feel after losing a loved one. 

    I lost my son in 2005 and I really never recovered. I never thought in a million years it could happen to me and certainly never thought I would be pre-deceased by one of my kids. It didn't seem fair. 

    I think the recent loss of your brother in law has flared up some anxiety as well as depression and you need to work through it. Easier said than done of course, but you have to think about the many good things in this life you have and how they build your zest for life. I think it's important to keep busy and find things that keep the mind not only busy but stimulated. The mind is a very powerful tool as we both know. It can play many tricks on you, some not so nice. 

    For me, I try to live as much of my life around music. Music entertains all modds and you can program it to the mood you're in. Relaxing music aids my fibromyalgia and tinnitus much more effectively than anything upbeat or just a lot of noise. God only knows, I have enough going in both ears. lol. Try some good music and don't be afraid to unwind with some good headphones and just chill. Music has a way of lifting you up and putting you in a place in your life when things may have been a little easier, or a whole lot easier. I often reflect back in my life and term that period, "when life was much easier.." referring to the days when I wasn't stressed and I wasn't suffering a loss that was so difficult to get over.

    Often times when I'm having a real bad day, I'll think of just how many people are far worst off than I am and give myself a reality check. It puts things in perspective. 

    Certainily not a doctor but it appears you haven't found the right med to help you, at least on a consistent basis. You might want to relay to your doctor what you're feeling today and maybe find something that works more effectively. 

    Hang in there and realize how precious your life is. I think we often think of our own mortality but we shouldn't get pre-occupied with it. The fact of the matter is, when we do pass through this life, we will never know it's over. We can't control when we go but we can certainly control how we go. In the event that you really feel out of control, take a long walk and unwind. Exercise really helps homogenize the brain process. Call a friend or a call a 24 support help line and get things off your chest. There are many people that listen. People even on this board are standing up and helping you with their kind words and expressions. 

    Three cheers to life, Jeanne.. Honestly, it's better than the alternative and there's so much out there to appreciate and explore. Feel better and make today the first day of the rest of  your life.


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    • Posted

      Aah Glenn, your post has lifted me up already. I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your son. As you say, we don't expect our children to predecease us. Thank you so much for your kind and caring words. x

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  • Posted

    Oh dear Jeanne

    I have been like this since I was 16 on going battle

    But I will tell you now privacy are awful they made me feel anxious with a foreboding since of doom

    I came off them a long while ago but was still very depressed

    I was put on citalapram and after 2 weeks all the crying had stopped I went back to docs and said I could of hugged him

    I didn't have side effects they don't make you drowsy just the first week of taking them had this urge to yawn all the time but not tired

    I now take 40 mg don't get too depressed just sometimes like waiting for pip decision

    Honestly they are really good I know others who are on them and they say the same

    You just notice one day that the depression is not bad

    You still can get down like anyone else but you want feeling like killing yourself thoughts

    Also I can't take pregablin gabapentin or amatryptalin because they make me go very low in mood

    Last week my doc tried me back on amatryptalin for mot sleeping but I had too stop them because changed my mood

    Saw doc yesterday he said he could not understand why Because there also am antidepressant but if you read up on these tablets a lot of people feel the same way xxx

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss

    I lost my dad at end of Feb then a best friend from school who I had know since infants she left 2 young children

    Its made me think of death and mortality

    But please listen too me

    If you feel like this today another can be so much nicer

    Please please go see doc urgent ask them to try switching tablets about

    I don't really go anywhere been feeling like everything is a chore

    To even speak to people face to face

    But I know I have to try and help myself

    Let me know what doc says but ask for an emergency appointment

    You can also go to talking sessions

    They help by looking at what you can achieve in a day to learn to try not put too much pressure on yourself and to accept that you can't always do everything

    Its like taking baby steps but trying to put 1 thing extra in your day

    And when you achieve that it puts you in a better mood because you have managed to do maybe one extra thing in a day

    I know what your going through and if you want private message me any time day or night xxxx

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    • Posted

      Thank you Sharon. I won't go to my GP just yet. As I say, I've been on Prozac for many years, and have been unable to come off them, even weaning off slowly. They seem to suit me. Also the Pregabalin as I say, had a euphoric effect for a long time and despite the pain and having to stop working as a nurse, I actually felt really good! Maybe it's because I had to give up working altogether a couple of years ago, and I'm only now  feeling the effect of that. I don't know, but I'll see how I go over the next few weeks. Thank you so much for saying I can PM you any time. That's so kind and caring. x

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