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feeling invisible

Posted , 7 users are following.

aur448
aur448

Hi all

I'm not good at this but thought maybe I should try get some advise before I really fall of I've been crying for days now I was once a person who loved her job who worked her butt of who tried her hardest to keep her family happy my independence of driving and working meant everything to me until I fell at work got hurt real bad and nw 6months later still stuck at home wait for surgery which my company has been taking for granted.i have had my name put on judgement I got kicked out of my flat due to affordability and nw I'm left broke month to month.thid whole change has impacted me so negatively that even if I talk to fam an friends it doesn't change hw I feel I hardly smile these days the once bubbly laughing girl I wince was and now I so desperately want that back but I feel stuck and I cry.I have been taking alot of meds for pain and take zolnox to slp jus to take my mind of everything happening.I cannot cope anymore I have had visions of hanging myself jus to take away my pain and heartache but I'm scared.i was once so involved with life and the feeling of being wanted felt good but nowdays I dnt get taken seriously all they say is I complain yet I'm asking for help my head hurts right nw an my eyes are burning frm crying I don't knw wat else to do anymore I have given up my joy my life my job my independence wer all snatched away frm me how can I do this

2 likes, 17 replies

17 Replies

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  • xarjia
    xarjia aur448

    Posted

    Hi. It must be really difficult for you with everything you have been through . You have housing , financial, employment and physical worries which are probably causing your depression.

    Have you got any family or close friends that you can talk to? You need to see your doctor and tell him or her how you are feeling and that the medications are not working anymore .

    You are not moaning or complaining.

    You are just expressing how you feel and it's really unfortunate that other people are unable to understand your emotions.

    Please remember you are not alone in the way you feel. Please go back to your doctor.

  • lorraine52317
    lorraine52317 aur448

    Posted

    Hi aur

    I am saddened to hear about your circumstances. Although you have suffered this injury, lost your accommodation. You will come back from this. Your injury will not rob you of your skills and abilities. They are all still there, once you are better you will still be able to put those abilities to use and continue a career path. It is so hard to have things and then lose them. But your new career path after your surgery could excel and surpass what you once had. The thing to keep intact is your confidence and aspirations for what you want to achieve in life.

    your injury and being unable to work has paved the way for possible depression. Please let your doctor know how low you are feeling. Depression makes our minds believe we will never experience health or happiness ever again. We also tend to believe that we are an exception to the rule, and it won't be this way for us.

    don't lose track and tell your mind 'this is a hurdle in life' followed by 'I will get through this' followed by putting together a plan of action to follow after your surgery.

    Please wipe those tears, keep positive, you cannot see just yet, what wonderful things lay ahead for you. They will come your way when the time is right.

    Lastly don't forget that appointment with your doc.

    God bless ♥♥♥

  • jenny99721
    jenny99721 aur448

    Posted

    Hi there - will just mention one thing here. I am not sure whether you suffer from depression or the circumstances you are now in have caused you to feel depressed.I would look at the pain meds that you are on - if they contain codeine then they can with longer term use cause a very low mood and impusive thinking. They do what they are meant to do but also affect mood .Hope am not adding to the problem here but there are better alternatives. Ok you take care - this is all temporary . J
    • aur448
      aur448 jenny99721

      Posted

      Hi Jenny

      Maybe you are right I have been taking tramadol along with trepeline and lyrica and zolnox only recently have I felt such low feelings like I'm useless and invisible I can't even smile it's not me at all.

    • jenny99721
      jenny99721 aur448

      Posted

       Hi there - maybe have a chat with GP re this mix and look at leaflets that came with them. I asked about injury as in 1987 i was working temporarily in an assesment centre for young people who have LD. Unfortunately I was dragged into the bath and because I resisted I obtained serious back injury. I had a lamenectomy but as i left it so long it all became infected and I got very sick indeed. I was waiting to start the very first project 2000 which basicaolly was to make sure there were so many graduate nurses in Uk by this year. Unfortunately could not do it as my ' desire to carry on as normal and not have back seen to made it impossible for me. However i did follow a different path and all was okay. I had the debt and the kids and the painkillers so know a bit about that feeling of 'loss of control'. Your boyfriend is not correct - you are not weak - you are just fed up and want to return to what you had. You will need to accept that the next few months need to happen. Maybe return to work with this job whist looking around for another one? who knows all kinds of good things can come up.

      Tramadol is not a nice drug - but it does work, hold on there- surgery coming up and things will change - so be brave - but as all posts say - see GP about how you are feeling and about t the meds ok J

  • aur448
    aur448

    Posted

    Thank you both for your caring words bless you both it's nice to know there are still ppl out their with kind souls.

    I have been put on hold medically due to issues with iod I tore my disc on L4 l5 so I need spine surgery I can't see doctors for nw lucky for me my pharmacist helps abit. Now I await major spine surgery and then 8 weeks recovery my company has just pushed me aside with no compassion they just don't care and continue as normal after 6yrs of service all I am was a nunber.

    I will try to seek help frm someone I pray.

    Is it normal to feel like this my partner tells me I'm weak I mus be strong which I tried but still come back to square one.

    I hate waking up these days wishing I could just sleep forever.

    I pray I get out of this.

    Much Love

  • AbbyJ
    AbbyJ aur448

    Posted

    Oh hang in there.

    I know those ugly feelings feel so heavy.

    This is a good place for support.

  • BCBA
    BCBA aur448

    Posted

    Hi aur448,

    I happened on your post and have not read other replies, but felt compelled to reply.  You have certainly been knocked down by 'LIFE"...or possibly your higher power (aka God...depends on your beliefs......no judging at all on my part). First question from me so that I can answer from a spiritual perspective...what are your beliefs? Christian, Atheist, Agnostic?  I am not a Bible Thumper, but I too have experienced a complete knock down and was thrown a handful of drugs that helped the symptoms, but not the root cause...

    • BCBA
      BCBA

      Posted

      ...it was your title..."Feeling Invisible" that caught my attention.  I TOTALLY get that...
    • AbbyJ
      AbbyJ BCBA

      Posted

      I'm not sure of my beliefs right now. I believe in a higher power, a God. Other than that I don't know specifics about my beliefs. Why do you ask?

      Sometimes I wonder if this is karma. I always think I'm a bad person, which i think is part of my depression. I think I believe in karma.

    • BCBA
      BCBA AbbyJ

      Posted

      I ask because, I have been where you are and I have found a better way.  I am a recovering alcoholic.  I am also a preacher's kid. I believed in God, but he was a punishing/ judging God.  I always thought I could never measure up to his expectatations and that I was "not good enough"...a bad person as you put it.  There is a better way....I am no longer suicidal, no longer self medicate with alcohol, and life is getting better....Again, I am not a "religious" person...just have found a god that works for me and loves me to pieces...even when I mess up...
    • AbbyJ
      AbbyJ

      Posted

      Just realized you weren't talking to me. Sorry sad
    • AbbyJ
      AbbyJ

      Posted

      It's nice to think of being loved to pieces.
    • BCBA
      BCBA AbbyJ

      Posted

      Perhaps it was karma that our replies got connected.
    • AbbyJ
      AbbyJ BCBA

      Posted

      Perhaps.

      I have been thinking a lot about the universal forces that affect well-being and human functioning.

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