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Feeling like I’m dying; no one understands

Posted , 14 users are following.

cindy17746
cindy17746

Hi! I came on here tonight because I just finished a third day in a row of being in bed, so sick I feel like I'm dying. I have terrible sleeps, terrible nausea, stomach troubles, anxiety, etc. The last three days, my muscles have been so weak, I can barely move. And at the same time, it feels like they're buzzing with electricity. This forum helps me cope. No one understands this experience like you ladies, and I feel judged by my female friends who are having an easier time and who think this is all in my head. I get really distressed when I have days like this, and my friends think I'm overreacting. It's a time in life when women need to support each other, which is why this forum is great. So thankful for it.

5 likes, 25 replies

25 Replies

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  • Guest
    Guest cindy17746

    Edited

    I understand! The same has happened to me, my mom, my friends and aunts all had an easy time going through menopause....im just in peri and i feel like a whole different person in a bad way. I feel SO sick to my stomach 24-7, ive lost so much weight, have insomnia but yet feel tired, unpredictable periods, headaches, hot flashes, horrible anxiety and now being this way for the past 6 years its caused depression cause i cant live a healthy good life! Everything i try to eat causes some type of stomach or gut upset. Ive been tested for food sensitivities, chrones disease, celiac disease, thyroid etc and everything comes back fine except very low progesterone levels and somewhat low estrogen. I tried taking hormones it made things worse, ive tried antidepressants amd they made things worse....i give up

    • cindy17746
      cindy17746 Guest

      Edited

      HI! I am the same. Have been tested for everything, have tried everything. Nothing changes. I'm feeling very alone right now.

    • kay42107
      kay42107 cindy17746

      Edited

      hi ...your definitely not alone I feel like the walking dead everything seems such an effort, headaches ,feeling nausea and anxious, head wants to roll off my shoulders, don't start me on the emotions....its comforting to know we not alone x

  • Gigi368
    Gigi368 cindy17746

    Edited

    Hang in there!

    I don't think I've felt good even for one day in the last several years. Even on my "good" days I don't feel right. I have other health issues and this mess just makes it all worse. All my friends seem to have it easy, or they just don't admit to feeling like their world is caving in. I lost my mom last year so I have no one to talk to about it. I completely understand how your feeling.. if I could just curl up in bed until the worst is over I would...

    Do some grounding exercises for the anxiety, focus on 5 things you can see, 5 things you can touch, 5 things you can hear, 5 things you can smell, and do deep breathing while doing this.. sounds silly but it does work. Take warm bubble baths, or what I like to do.. tear my house apart and clean lol. I do anything to keep my mind off of how crappy I feel.. although some days are harder than others. I've just decided not to let it beat me.

    Again, hang in there! You're not alone!

    • cindy17746
      cindy17746 Gigi368

      Edited

      Thank you. I have some strategies in place like those you've suggested. Right now, I can barely stand for more than 5 minutes before I need to lie down. I am on medication for shingles, and I think it's just making everything worse. Thank you for reaching out.

    • cindy17746
      cindy17746 Gigi368

      Posted

      I mostly try to have a positive attitude and not let it get me too down, but I'm now on day 5 of being in bed, and am feeling hopeless. But feel like im not allowed to tell anyone that, because i will get a lecture on how i need to handle it better. so not helpful. Thanks for reminding me im not alone. I have some amazing supports, including the world's best boyfriend, but i still feel alone on these days. And i hate not being reliable.

    • Gigi368
      Gigi368 cindy17746

      Edited

      There is no right or wrong way to handle this mess and for someone to tell you to do better is crappy! We all go thru this in different ways, some of us have it easy, some power thru, some its completely debilitating. You can only do what you can do. I would suggest you talk to your gynecologist though and see what options are out there to get you over the hump. A pill is not always the answer but maybe there's alternatives so you don't feel so down on yourself. You are important!! Never forget that! Sending you hugs and good vibes!

    • cindy17746
      cindy17746 Gigi368

      Posted

      You're so awesome, thank you! That made me cry. Feel like I have to suffer in silence; feel like I can't take much more of this. I have a phone appointment with my doctor today. And my doctor is amazing, but even she doesn't really get it, compared to you ladies. xoxo

    • Gigi368
      Gigi368 cindy17746

      Posted

      I totally understand.. I don't want to complain bc I know that no one in my circle gets it. I've actually isolated myself for the most part, I don't care to socialize any more, except my kids and grandkids and since Covid hit I don't even see them bc of my heart issues and being high risk. My hubby (ex actually but long story) is in a nursing home and I haven't been able to see him since March 3rd. He has massive brain damage from a motorcycle accident 16 yrs ago and can't communicate so I can't even talk to him on the phone, that by itself keeps my anxiety high.

      My gynecologist is awesome too but young enough to be my daughter and just don't get it. I told her to just wait, she'll have a change in attitude eventually and we're not text books, no two people are alike. I pretty much ticked her off LOL...

      Keep reminding yourself, you're not alone, you are important, your feelings matter, and most of all.. this too shall pass!!

      HUGS!!!

  • bev27429
    bev27429 cindy17746

    Edited

    Hi Cindy,

    It definitely isn't all in your head! These symptoms are real, and they can be debilitating. My best friend sailed through menopause. One day her periods just stopped, and that was it. She didn't even skip a period. My experience, though, has been the polar opposite. I have had such severe physical and mental symptoms, that it has taken every inner resource that I have to cope and get through the day. I, too, felt as though my friend just didn't get it, and she seemed uncomfortable with how much I struggled. She just didn't know what to do or what to say.

    Luckily, I have an amazing spouse, mother, and close friend who have supported me through this terrible time. Without them, I just don't know where I would be.

    I am so proud of how I have persevered through it all. Once this is all over, I don't think that there is anything that could bring me down!

    Sending you understanding and big hugs!

    Bev xo

    • cindy17746
      cindy17746 bev27429

      Edited

      I am trying to persevere. Some days are a real challenge. Today, I cried all day. It's sometimes the only thing that makes me feel better. So I just let it out. Thank you so much for your genuine empathy.

    • bev27429
      bev27429 cindy17746

      Edited

      Crying is a smart thing to do, for sure! You have to find a way to let out the pain and frustration. Sometimes I will just scream my heart out and sob. Afterwards, I usually feel at least a little bit better.

      Sending you strength and the deepest of understanding:)

      Bev xo

    • cynthia3219
      cynthia3219 bev27429

      Edited

      I know exactly what you are going through. I had went to the doctor after missing 2 periods and having every symptom in the book pointing to menopause. she did a hormone test and it showed post menopausal levels. She gave me hormone therapy but I did not take it because of the increase in risk of breast cancer. My grandmother died of breast cancer so i didn't want to increase my chances. i am right near my 3 month mark of not having my period and this morning my period started. Now they want to do a biopsy on my cervix and the lining of my uterus. I cry all the time. Like you I just feel alone in this, like no one understands. I stay depressed with very high anxiety, hot flashes, night sweats, joint pain, sleep problems, vaginal dryness, memory lapse, and crying all the time. I wish there was an end to this. Now i have to start over counting up 12 months until i can officially be through menopause. This is what really has me upset, the fact that i was almost 3 months in only to start over counting. My heart goes out to you and my prayers. This is not easy and you are not alone. I'm right here with you going through the same thing. Im so glad I found this community.

    • bev27429
      bev27429 cynthia3219

      Edited

      Thanks for your message. I could have written it myself. In the summer of 2019, I went 101 days without a period, and I was hoping that was the final countdown, but it wasn't. Since then, I haven't skipped a period, but they range from 25 days to 36 days. Every time that I get a period, I feel sad because I just want all of this to be over.

      No matter what, though, I keep hope alive, and I muster up the determination to persevere, even in the most debilitating times.

      Private message me at any time. I will always respond.

      Big hugs xo

    • cynthia3219
      cynthia3219 bev27429

      Edited

      Thank you! You are an angel. It's amazing how someone you just meet can show more compassion than your own family. ❤

    • Salesmanswidow
      Salesmanswidow cynthia3219

      Posted

      omg reading these messages is making me cry what lovely ladies, im really struggling again today (have been for 5 months now daily) anxious, tired, no motivation, weak muscles, no appetite, bloating, achy, had an awful night sweat last night so sitting in bed trying to muster up the energy to do the chores. how can hormones make us feel so ill, i dont even feel like me anymore i just struggle through each day, health anxiety is through the roof again sending hugs xx

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