Feeling really unattractive 😥
Posted , 13 users are following.
So I know all of us on here suffer the physical and emotional symptoms of perimenopause and it is just awful! Iāve had so many from the health anxiety, headaches, stomach/gastric troubles, achy joints, back ache, nausea, itchy skin..you name it weāve probably all had it. But just the last 2 weeks or so one thing has really been bothering me that I hate to bring up because it seems so shallow..but I feel very unattractive and SO unsexy..Itās hard to explain but even if I feel like I look okay in the mirror to go to work or whatever, I just feel old and not the least bit attractive to any man at all. Iāve even tried (not too hard to the point of being weird or pushy) to flirt a little, pay compliments to a guy within a reasonable age and just ..nothing..Worse yet (which probably sealed the depression deal for me) was that I was out with what Iād call a āmixedābunch of ladies..some older, some younger (Iām 46), short, tall, blondes, brunettes, pretty and average, and just about all of them got drinks bought for them or a little flirty conversation and I got ZERO!! Do they smell my eggs drying up as I speak!!? Iām relatively (lol) normal, attractive, funny, good conversationalist so what is the deal?? I would absolutely say it was just an off night or whatever but the last few weeks have me feel like I have some disease lol..Anyway, not the biggest deal but Iāve never been this bummed about it..anyone else or am I just a shallow Sally?😧
6 likes, 21 replies
vicky77852 amy341731
Posted
Hi! I guess that our insecurities reflects to others.
I had a psychological breakdown 6 months ago when I diagnosed with early menopause at 42. Iām on hrt.
I was thinking that everybody could notice my body changes and could understand my meno. I was in despair and isolated. When I asked some of my friends if they have noticed a change on me they all said that my face was too sad, nothing different.
I was obsessed with my appearance and I spent hours at mirror comparing myself with my old pictures. Finally I gave up.
I try to go on my life and not to think so much. I m sure that our confidence make us happy and sexy! 😊
brandon amy341731
Edited
Hi Amy, my wife had a hysterectomy 6 years ago and immediately went into a surgical menopause. It has been hell for us both but obviously it's been worse for her because my wife is the one experiencing many of the recognised symptoms, including the suicidal thoughts and the feeling that she is worthless and no longer a real woman. I have supported her throughout, been patient,undetstanding , showered her with love and given her the space when she needed it. However, I got many things wrong but I kept on trying. After getting the correct bespoke HRT and with regular H.I.I.T exercises my wife is so much better and a lot happier. My wife looks fabulous and you would never believe she is 50 years of age. However, she sometimes still feels unattractive no matter how many compliments I and others give her. We all feel unattractive from time to time. So, don't be so hard on yourself and just think about all the good things you have done/ accomplished and smile more. You will eventually notice all the compliments that you previously ignored. When you feel unattractive you reject and hurt the ones who love you the most. They then feel unattractive and it becomes a vicious circle. My wife loves me dearly but has rejected me both physically and emotionally for so long that I protect myself by not exposing myself to the opportunity of being rejected. It is heart breaking but I love her. So be kind to yourself, you are more beautiful and attractive than you realise.
amy341731 brandon
Posted
Not only is this a wonderful response Brandon but itās nice to have a husbands perspective. I think doing something very physical on a regular basis that really works and builds muscle will help in so many ways. It is hard to find the motivation to get out there and do it, but I know it would help. And you are right about a vicious cycle of feeling bad and then rejecting those close to you, causing a lot of hurt all around. Itās like I canāt accept it is just a bad day or even week, it must be something wrong with me. I am grateful for my amazing, healthy children and they keep me going when I want to give in. Thank you so very much for responding, I really do appreciate it!😊
Yutasgrl amy341731
Posted
your post was explaining exactly how i feel. it was like i wrote it. sad thing is i got to this thread too late. I cut my hair short when i was feeling especially low. i am not regretting it,
I don't want to take hormones but I saw estrovyn. i can handle my night sweats but feeling very low about myself and like i need plastic surgery to look better. I really need something for my self esteem and self help books don't help. I am not sure if it is my estrogen or progesterone that is low and insurance will not cover tests. any help will be greatly appreciated.
MS