Feeling sorry for myself

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I usually don't let my fibromyalgia get me down, however I have other medical problems with this and since a week before Christmas I have been virtually bed down, yet another festive period ruined by this illness. I hate being like this, I'm so fragile at the moment, my depression has got worse, I've been sleeping a lot during the day and awake most of the night, no matter how many times I've tried to get into a regular sleep pattern. Every bone and muscle in my body seems to ache even when I move slightly. I fear my family are not able to rely on me and that's what is making me so much more down, I'm just having a rant so I do apologise. I just wish that when I was in my 20's I had made more of my health and done more, however I had my kids early. I just wait for that one good day when I can actually do something. Sorry for prattling on. I know we are all suffering.

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  • Posted

    Don't apologise Trisha. We have all been there many times! I think the holidays are particularly stressful for people in general because the expectations are so high. It is an expensive time of year and undo pressure is on people to buy and prepare and this can add to all other expenses of everyday living. This is particularly stressful for us who have this condition that thrives on stress! Then...here come the consequences! You are more than likely in a chronic fatigue period my dear. Along with this lack of energy comes the feelings of depression. But take heart Trisha. It won't last forever. Try to control your negative thoughts sweetie. Read some self help books on more positive thinking. It helps to remind us to have a bit more perspective on things. And don't worry about the family. If this were one of them, would you hesitate in caring for them and accepting their limitations? Of course not. So give yourself the same respect. You cannot cure this condition, So We learn to cope day by day. This can at the same time teach your family members to show empathy and appreciation for your struggles. Warm hugs sweetie! Maggie xx

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    • Posted

      You speak so much sense, and honestly deep down I am a positive person, it's just I have other illnesses that flare my fibromyalgia up as well and it was just one problem after another last year, my stupid sister in law well ex!!!!!! Said that I was a hyperchondriac, sorry about the spelling, she was put in her place, then it makes you think it's only all of us who know what this illness does and affects us, what are other people thinking, then again I had to give myself a good talking to and who cares, they can say what they like. I think it was just all that added nonsense that knocked me down a bit. Thanks for being there my little magpie ?

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    • Posted

      Oh sweetie, people can be so unkind. I hope she never developes this condition because she will get a very rude awakening. It can really hurt though when family members lack empathy. Safeguard your emotional health Trisha. Sometimes we have to distance ourselves from the critics until they get a dose of sensitivity. I am sure she has her own issues. Stick closely with those who are kind and have some real understanding. And I'm sure you have some of these ones in your life. Acceptance of your Fibromyalgia is crucial as well.. We Sometimes go into denial. It happens to all of us. But realising and reminding ourselves that this is a chronic condition and that we need to manage our symptoms on any given day. Acceptance helps us to respect ourselves and our unique situation. Then this goes a long way in not letting the petty thoughtless remarks of others affect us in a detrimental way. We can then dismiss their ignorance. Gentle hugs sweetie. Chin up. You will be better soon! xx

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  • Posted

    Hi Trish;  don't feel sorry as you've given me an excuse to have a rant, as well.  I too, am having trouble getting over xmas.  I didn't do half as much as previous xmas days, but "just can't seem to get back my energy", either.  I get upset as well, with the feelings of "this  is  supposed to be OUR time" in life, when after raising family etc, we were going to be free and do what we wanted.:  days trips even are out of the question,now, too, as it talkes so much out of me, that it's not always worth the trip.  I do feel as if I am letting husband, and this time, my son, too, as he had come home for 2 weeks hoping to have a nice break from his work. (he took employment away from home-town and is now working 1800 klms away, so don't see him nearly as often as we did).    Alas not so. 

    ?Others say "why don;t you go to the Shops and buy yourself what you want, now?"  Haha....that even is too much of an effort.

    ?One thing that I feel I should ask, though, of all; is do you find you have More energy in the evenings than during the Day?   It takes me most of the day to "get going", and then when I find some energy, I need to keep quiet, as Hubby has gone to bed, as he starts early each morning.   Talk about "being ALL over the place"

    Well that is my rant for this time around.  Thankyou Trisha for giving me the opportunity.                                           biggrinBron

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    • Posted

      You go ahead bronwyn, I think this is the best place to have a rant, we all understand each other, I only get energy on certain days, it's either or for me. I would just like there to be more information out there for other people to understand what this illness does to us, then it would make people less judgemental. I give myself a kick up the bum every now and again, but speaking with all of my fellow sufferers on here really helps, hope you feel better soon too, big hugs and thanks for taking the time to reply, it's much appreciated x big 🤗 xxx

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  • Posted

    Bless you Hun don't be sorry that's what we are hear for I know how you feel all you can do is take one day at a time I hope you feel a bit more able to cope soon thinking of you xxxx

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  • Posted

    Hi Trisha, Sorry you are having such a hard time. Maggie gave you some wonder advice and I ditto all comments. I can relate to your entire situation. For Thanksgiving I couldn't even cut the breast on the turkey I was so weak. I felt so weak I thought I was going fall and I was using a cane. I had a horrible migraine on top of the widespread pain. My husband prepare the meal because I wasnt in good condition. I was invited by faimly to join them for Thanksgiving meals and I couldnt even attend. You know all to well the feeling that came with that, you got it, helplessness and depression . 2 days later I ended with bronchitis added to the list and I had not even been outside go figure. I just felt horrible and for rest of November I felt this way. I was so weak I started using a walker on Dec. 1 per doctor orders. I was still having a hard time during Christmas minus the bronchitis and was determined to help because I didn't want to feel the same way for this holiday. I helped prepare some of the meal so that my mother-in-law didn't have to prepare all of the meal herself. I didnt want to feel the same as the last holiday. I cut the potatoes for the au gratin potatoes which hurt to even use my hands with a potato peeler. I also put the corn beef in the slow cooker. I was determine to do something but even that came with a price. Yes more pain. I had to lay down because my body hurt so bad. After we ate our meal I sat up for 2 hours after and back to bed I went. My mother came to visit but I had to lay back in bed. I was so proud I accomplishes my goal but I paid for it physically. My mother understood but I felt crappy about leaving her with the rest of the family. She told me she still enjoyed the stay. I said all of this to say I understand, even family not understanding your limits and your pain. It can be very frustrating. My husband is very helpful but he don't understand my limits and capabilities. For the sleep issue I use to be up all night sometimes until 4-5 am in pain. I started taking Melantonin 3 mg and it helped me get a good night rest without the groggy feeling in the morning. I have recently started taking amitriptyline because it helped with migraines, fibromyalgia and depression. It help me sleep deep enough that my husband said you was snoring last night. It also helped reduce to number of migraines I was having but didnt help with fibro pain. It also made me feel tired.The neurologist than put me on Nortryplline instead because it wouldn't make me feel tired but it 's worse I have a hard time getting out of bed. There is still the same benefits for the migraines and sleep. My Rheumatologist just wrote me a script for low dose naltrexone for pain. I just started it last night. Look it up it has great reviews. It helps will other conditions as well. It works by releasing endorphins. The high dose medication is used for totally different reason so make sure to type in the low dose during your search. I am during better. I feel stronger but still using a walker for lower body weaknessband I'm still experiencing alot of pain, but thankful my progress. I have been off work since June it has been a rough year. I am praying for more relief of pain. Sorry to be long winded. I hope you find this helpful. God bless.

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    • Posted

      I relate to your life so much, I had all the same experiences during the festive period, I just felt so weak, it's just lately you start to wonder what quality of life we all have and it doesn't rate very high, I actually envy people whom take their health for granted. I feel as if I'm constantly miserable, I do get the odd good day, even then in some pain, those days I make sure I spend time with my grandson who is only 4 and doesn't understand, but thanks for sharing, it does make me feel that I'm not alone, hugs to you xxxxx

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    • Posted

      Poor sweetie! I am glad that you are a bit stronger Kiki. We have no real control over this condition but we are all learning how to cope. Never despair! There will be better days. Value yourself Kiki and all the years you coped with stress and taking care of your family. It's time they take care of you too sweetie. Concentrate on One day at a time. Warmest affection. Maggie xx

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  • Posted

    Hi Trisha, it was only a little while ago that I talked about not being able to cope with life, wanting to end things, so don't apologise for ranting. I have to admit that since finding this forum and seeing and talking to so many familiar people now I actually do feel like I have purpose. Whilst the pains and struggles continue,and I still have some dark days, being able to vent are a way of seeking support, whether it's to try a different med, exercise or just talking. Being able to talk is important so rant, scream and shout, you are not alone, we all want to be able to support each other whichever way we can 😊

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    • Posted

      Thanks oompa, it's so nice that we all can comfort each other when we need it, I understand what your saying,I have had those feelings as well about our standard of life, not very good is it? But hugs to you and thanks for your support xxxx

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  • Posted

    Hi Trisha. I too was sick with other illnesses that made me have a flare. I had to skip the holidays. Other family members were sick and couldn't be around them cause I couldn't risk getting sick again. My immune system sucks! Two had sinus infections, onew had pink eye and another had walking pneumonia. No way could I attend.

    I'm lucky cause my family understands. Not exactly what I'm going through but can see the difference when I'm having a bad day. They can see that I struggle with pain. They actually told me to stay home and we would reschedule. It's just hard cause my niece is still very young. I hate missing out on the look on her face on Christmas morning. And she doesn't understand why I wasn't there. But it's better to wait wait a few weeks then for me to be in the hospital. We have to do what's best for us even if it means sitting out sometimes.

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    • Posted

      I totally agree kiki, it sucks doesn't it, some days even just going to have a shower can be a chore, it's not the type of illness you seem to get a break from isn't it? Sometimes you just feel so low because it feels the whole world is going around you, but, your not participating xxxx I'm sorry you felt that way too, sending hugs xxxxxx

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    • Posted

      It seems like the holidays takes a toll on everyone, even your family members Kiki. Stress puts a real load on everyone's immune system. And the holidays mean a great deal of stress to so many. High Expectations can sometimes burden us and weigh us down. Good that you took care of yourself! xx

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    • Posted

      Thanks magpie. Missed thanksgiving, Christmas and new years. Hoping I can join in on the next family gathering. Just went to the ears nose and throat doc and got scoped. They didn't find and nodules or blockages. So it's time for a mri. Hoping not to do the surgery on my sinuses but it may be time. Just miss my family.

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