Feeling trapped, anxious, depressed. Losing myself dont know what to do.

Hello there sweetie

I think it grossly unfair to expect your young man and his family to go through a grilling by gathered family members

Your father is gathering support to apply pressure upon you to browbeat you into submission so that you remain the compliant, subserviant doormat he has moulded you into

You have to ask yourself this

Is your man strong enough to withstand this pressure?

Are you strong enough?

This is crunch time. Now you face the decision and make a wise choice because your whole future depends upon it

If your father manages to make your man walk away from  you and your future together, then bear in mind, he will be able to get rid of anyone who comes along and wants to marry you with his bullying tactics

In my opinion if you throw away this chance then you have to be prepared to spend the rest of you life under your father's roof and under his thumb

No one can tell you what to do

This must be your decision

Were it me I would pack my bags and just go, get out and have a normal life. You are 26 not sixteen, a grown woman, and like most women doubtless you want love, children, a home of your own and some measure of independance

I hope you can find it in you to summon the courage. Already your health is suffering

Life lays ahead. What you fill the future with rest entirely with you

Many hugs Helen

 

Thank you for your fast replies lovely, means a lot. You hit the nail on the head, he knows his father will also disagree and so he is getting him involved as well as my mums parents in order to intimidate the guy.

That is true my dad told me today to let go of this man and to let him choose a husband for me, someone with lots of money and good looks. This is not what i want and i stood up to him saying ultimately it is up to me to decide. Shortly after more arguments he pressed his arms onto my shoulders and says 'you are only thinking of this' and pinched my private area, "and this" then pinched my breasts. Tears strolled down my face as i thought how can such a man possibly offer me advice on what a good man is when he is far from one himself.

The courage is slowly building to get away from this madness however im terrified, i hope if it ever comes to that my mother and sibling can forgive me.

This is going to be a long journey but you're right when you say this will only continue if i let him have his way. I deserve happiness not misery, and i will not settle for fake love.

Xox

The longer you procrastinate the swifter any courage you have will disappear.

That your father should refer to any physical desire you might feel towards your man, is totally outrageous, and doubtless  was humiliating for you at the time.

Never feel ashamed of natural feelings. Or allow anyone else, especially your father who has no right to speak of them, to make you feel ashamed either

It will only be a long journey if you make it so

It is entirely up to you

But  remember,"He who hesitates is lost "

Stay or go?

Now is the time to decide

Hugs Helen

It was definitely humiliating. I cant wait to get away. I can definitely see this ending with me moving out. I shall plan for it just in case the gathering ends in riot. Thats when i will go.

Thanks for the motivation and clarity on my situation. X

So you  both decided to go ahead with the gathering?

I wish you all the best then. I truly do

Keep in touch

Hugs

I called off the gathering, i told my parents i need more time, i needed to get them off my back they were putting too much pressure on us we began to feel too stressed and they almost pushed us apart. I need time to see my man more without the thought of my parents opinions distracting me. Im terrified of every decision i make now, i always feel like im doing something wrong. My anxiety has become irrational, im aware of it but i cant control it.