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Feels like my soul is dying

Posted , 10 users are following.

deb87510
deb87510

I need to talk to someone who cares, someone who talks about more than work or the weather. I feel like I need to tell someone how much I hurt, how sad I am. I don’t want to hear “you always feel this way” or “shape up” or have them walk away in disgust. I just want them to hold me let me cry and quote Lenard Cohen to me. I know this isn’t possible in my life I have no one like that. Just needed to express myself. 

3 likes, 19 replies

19 Replies

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  • Hylandgal
    Hylandgal deb87510

    Posted

    Hi there deb87510,

    Well you have come to the right place. This forum is great to explain our experiences and give advice on our journeys. Could you get a bit more in-depth of why you are sad. Explain your thoughts and feelings so then it is easier for us to help you and guide you. So if you can be a little more specific about your situation that may make it a bit easier for us to understand your situation etc

    • deb87510
      deb87510 Hylandgal

      Posted

      So many things are wrong. I haven’t seen my son for 4 years. I reached out to him again at Christmas but no response. I miss him and his children so much.  I have a grandson I have been trying to help get back on track but I am failing him. He just hides in his bedroom on the computer. He is my daughters son and she is mad that he lives with me. My husband is a good man but doesn’t really love me we just live in the same space. I have withdrawn so much over the years I have no close friends and have gotten good at putting on a brave face. But some days it is so hard I can’t take it. 
    • deb87510
      deb87510

      Posted

      Thank you everyone for listening. I feel a bit better today. 
  • Adldiane
    Adldiane deb87510

    Posted

    Hello Deb. 

    I think one of the most painful things that has been done to me is to be minimized or invalided when I express my feelings to someone. This may fit what you are experiencing or not but I found it extremely painful. 

    Sorry that you are hurting at such a deep level. On this site we care very much about each other having hurt ourselves so please feel free to write to us as much as you like. You didn't mention therapy..depression or meds so I don't know if any of these things would even be appropriate for you. Please keep writing and we will keep listening. Diane

  • carmela45627
    carmela45627 deb87510

    Posted

    You can always come here and express your feelings. We care. We want you to be healthy. Please keep coming back here venting will help you. We will listen and not pass judgement. We will try to help you.
  • hypercat
    hypercat deb87510

    Posted

    Leonard Cohen is wonderful isn't he?  I remember discovering him back in the early 70's and someone said it's music to commit suicide to!  Not sure about that but he certainly helped me through some very difficult times in my life.

    I think counselling is the way to go for you to find out and deal with how you feel.  Have you been to a doctor yet?  Meds might also help.  x

    • deb87510
      deb87510 hypercat

      Posted

      His music certainly makes me cry. It also makes me long for a person who has such deep feelings about life. I am surrounded by superficial people. 

      I have tried therapy without much success. I was on pristiq for 5 years for depression I went off it this past summer because it wasn’t helping. I have a cocktail of meds that are suppose to help me sleep. None of which help me consistently. I did get a few hours last night. Thank god. 

    • hypercat
      hypercat deb87510

      Posted

      Hi Deb therapy isn't usually a short term thing as don't forget it took many years for you to feel like this and it will take time for it to start helping you.

      There are many different types of therapy so if one isn't helping don't be afraid to try others.  x

  • carmela45627
    carmela45627 deb87510

    Posted

    You are always welcome to come here and talk or express yourself especially if it makes you feel better. Do you suffer from crying jags often? Did something happen something traumatic that would make you feel so low? You may want to speak to a professional.
  • deb87510
    deb87510

    Posted

    I have such a feeling of dread deep inside me. I told my husband how bad I am feeling he did listen he wants me to appreciate all the positives I have. I do have a warm home,food to eat, a job to go to. Why can’t I focus on that and not all the negatives I have? I go back to work tomorrow I don’t know how I will cope. Pray for me please. 
    • carmela45627
      carmela45627 deb87510

      Posted

      You poor thing. I’m sorry that you are feeling so low. How long has this been going on? Is there something going on st work that is bothering you? You can always come here to talk and vent. We care and understand how you feel. Do you think that you might need professional help? Maybe a dr and or therapist ? Please come back
    • deb87510
      deb87510 carmela45627

      Posted

      My first day back at work was not too bad. I use to love my job and felt it was the one part of my life I was successful at. Now my position has changed and I don’t feel appreciated or that people have my back. I am grateful that I have work and I am going to try and hold on to the good moments. 

      2017 was in my mind the last chance for things to improve in my life when this hasn’t happened 2018 is hard to face. 

    • greg10651
      greg10651 deb87510

      Posted

      Hi Deb, i feel for you and always know that you are not alone.  There are many of us out there and always be assured that you have done nothing wrong to get to this "lonely" place that you are in.  This forum is fantastic, if only for being reassured that there are others that are going through the same thing, only for different reasons.  We are  ONE.  I will surely pray for you, because in the end, it's God who will walk us through this.  Take care.

  • deb87510
    deb87510

    Posted

    I have a question. I am about 20 pounds overweight our grandson is about 50-60 pounds overweight. I was watching the TV show “My 600 pound life” my husband says he watches it because it “hits close to home”. I was very upset over this comment. Do other husbands/men make comments like that when they are at home? Am I being over sensitive? I would appreciate feedback. 
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