Getting upset

You won't see a hospital person without a referral, for good reason, the NHS has limited resources and just any bod would turn up if they did see people adhoc. That is why we have a referral system with GPs.

Either it is imporatant enough for your GP to refer you or it isn't, but you have been offered a call back over the phone.

Imagine if next time you really needed help, but the waiting list was so long (months) because they kept dealing with walk ins all the time and you got bumped down the list.

Speaking of walk ins, have you checked if you have a local walk in NHS centre, they may be able to help you.

If you are in desperate need of treatment and your doctor surgery(if your in uk) CANT help you then move to another practice.

I have never heard of anything like this before, in my surgery  you can get a doctors appointment in 2 days a nurses appointment in 4 days.

I think you missed this bit:

"I don't need a referral to a hospital,"

The OP seems to want a vist to the hospital nurse without a referral from their GP. At no point have they stated that they have been to their GP and been refused. They seem to be trying to get an appointment without a referral, which is a no go and won't accept a telephone call back from the nurse.

There seems to be no reference to a refusal, more an attempt to bypass the system.

I don't need this s..t from you or anyone thank you.   I don't want to see a hospital nurse and never said I did.  I want to see the nurse at my local surgery and don't need a referal from a doctor to do this.   I don't know how they do this where you are but I am in the UK and nurses are attached to doctors surgies to deal with issues doctors are too busy like copd.    

A nurse at my surgery did my copd review.   I need to ask her some questions which would be very difficult over the phone.   I am not trying to bypass any system but just trying to get the help I need.  If you can't be supportive or nice please don't reply to my post.

You have got me all upset again now.  Thanks.

 

You have to try and calm down, if you are having these problems at your surgery change to a different one.

If I called my surgery today I would get an appointment with  a nurse by Friday if I wanted to see a doctor I would get to see one Thursaday, If it was an emergency I would get an appoinment with either of them today.

People on this forum are just trying to help

Well, she is not the COPD nurse then, she is just the nurse at the GP's surgery or the practice nurse (mine has both).

If you had explained this earlier it would have been a lot easier, you would not have had myself and others trying to guess solutions. Give people the full details and they will be able to give you the best help.

I have asked for a lot of help in these forums in the past six months, in more than one forum (I have several problems). But I am always clear on the issue, so people know how to respond and I don't snap at them if they get it a bit wrong because I haven't explained myself.

Have you asked for an appointment and what date did they give you?

Hi RHGB

I have seen quite a few responses of yours to other people which i considered harsh/blunt or unnecessary. On these occasions I have been sorely tempted to say something to you, but refrained. I would suggest you re read the post you sent to hypercat! And ask yourself was that necessary! I understood exactly what hypercat was saying. In fact if you had read it properly, you would have too! when your feeling low and unwell, the last thing you need is a response like your one! 

1. If hypercat designated nurse wasn't trained in COPD/other breathing issues, hypercat wouldn't of been seeing her.

2.she wasn't asking you for a solution. She was venting her frustration around inhalers.

3. It's wonderful you manage clarity on every post you send, but this does not entitle you to blast people when you haven't grasped what's being said.

hypercat has helped many people here. Always displaying kindness and compassion. She rarely posts about herself...and look at the response she recieves!

If you don't understand something, there's absolutely no excuse for harshness/lack of sensitivity. If someone is saying they feel 'sh.t' why would you respond like that???? If you haven't got anything nice to say....say nothing at all!!!

We are all sufferers here and without the certainty of thoughtfulness/considerate responses....We wouldn't have this great outlet!

Thank you very much Lorraine.  I couldn't believe what I was reading!  To be attacked like this when I am clearly very upset isn't on. 

You are right - I rarely post,  but foolishly when I do I hope to get the same support that others do,  and it just makes me question why I bother trying to help and understand others.   Fortunately most folk on here like you are brilliant and do try and help.  We do all suffer from depression,  and the point I was making in my post was the difficulty of dealing with normal events when my depression is bad again like this.  

I am seriously considering my commitment to this site and am debating leaving completely.  If I did I would of course be there in pm's for the good people on here. 

Bless you Lorraine for understanding and being your usual lovely self.  Bev xx 

 

I really hope you don't ever leave. You have helped so many of us here. Such a pity I didn't see your communication before you got hammered.

god bless you always ♥♥

Firstly, Lorraine has said everything that I would have said to RHGB practically word for word! This is a site for people who are genuinely suffering, we face so much negativity from ourselves, we do not and should not expect it from those who are here to support us in our time of need. 

Bev, I have a few family members who suffer from COPD, it is a horrible disease and I am very sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with this. However, it is totally manageable! Which is great. But, you need all the support and information that you can get from your local surgery. I think it is absolutely awful that it has been so difficult to organise an appointment to talk through your inhalers with a nurse, that is what they are there for! It does sound like your GP practice is lagging!

It's really difficult and in fact, feels pretty impossible to push for help on these things when you are battling depression. I don't know what your conversations with the surgery have been like so far, but I would just flat out demand an appointment. My mother is a specialist nurse and so often she has to call up doctors and GP's on behalf of patients and shout at them to do X, Y and Z! 

Please don't give up on it though. I know it is so frustrating but it is so important that you have the right information to manage your COPD! 

I'm really sorry to see that you have been talked down to in such a way on your post, Bev. We come here seeking support, advice and positivity not grief! It is a sensitive time and everyone using this forum needs to be sensitive. 

You're genuinely such an important part of this forum, you are integral to its usefulness! Not only for me but, for everyone. It was only a few days ago you were offering me support when I was having a hard time. And that is just one of the countless times you have been there for me. I know that personally, I could not ever thank you enough for what you have given me. I have no support in my everyday life and it is people like you on this forum who keep me going! I hope that you do stay because I know there are a lot of other people who appreciate your kind words and loving nature. It seems strange, we are all strangers, this is an Internet site...but the effect that it has on our lives is massive! And for the most part, it is a wonderful crutch! 

My post the other day was about the difficulty of dealing with everyday life whilst suffering from depression, it is so hard. Too hard. And I cannot understand why medical professionals especially don't recognise this and treat the situation sensitively. They are stretched, I know but, we are the patients, we need and deserve the help. You deserve the help you need from your GP surgery but, you know you will always have love and support from us here Bev. 

I hope you are feeling okay xxxx

Awww fee!

Your response to Bev has made my day!

God bless and I too agree with your comments about Bev's value on this site.

god bless ♥♥

Helllo RHGB, I wanted to point out that you have upset Hypercat (Bev) on this post. Bev was asking for advice and feels that you have not being understanding of her situation. We all suffer depression here and different degrees at different times. I completely understood what she was saying. Bev as been a long standing user of this forum and as helped many people including myself. Bev and myself rarely ask for advice but instead answers many posts and are sympathetic to others. There is no need for anybody to talk down to others. I do hope that you will consider apoligising to her, she was having a bad day and we all know that we need a listening ear when we feel like this. I am sure that you have given good advice in the past and would ask that you reread her post as she was not trying to bypass the system as you suggested. I don't want to get into any slanging matches with anyone. Bev is thinking of leaving this forum because of the way you have spoken to her, and that would be a shame and a big loss to those that have being encouraged by her compassion. We are all sufferes and need compassion when the going gets tough.

Elizabeth  

Thank you very much for your support fee darling.  Knowing how you are feeling I very much appreciate your reply.   I was basically saying the same thing as you - that is is very hard trying to cope with the normal day to day life things with this b.....y depression.

I was very upset when I wrote the post and I needed support and understanding and emphathy.    Thank goodness I have got it from you fee,  Lorraine and most of the others who have replied. 

I too have very little support other than here and I am so grateful to this site and the wonderful people on it who all understand what depression is like to live with.   It is funny but we, because of our shared experiences,  can sometime be closer than real time friends who can't relate to us. 

I hope you are feeling a tad better than a few days ago fee.   Remember what we said won't you?   And remember too that no one can expect more from you than your best.  If they do it's their problem not yours.  OK.

Bless you for your kind words love.  Bev xxx

100% with you!

What a dreadful shame if hypercat elects to leave us over this. The comments by RHGB were harsh / inconsiderate and totally unnecessary.

God bless ♥♥

Thank you Elizabeth that is so kind of you to say all that.  What i was talking about in my post was not the NHS per se but using that as an example of how life is so difficult to deal with for those with depression and how upset it was making me.   You and the others understood that.  

I have been battling strong suicidal thoughts again for a while now and I keep thinking what's the point of trying to get help when all I get is knockbacks.   It sickens me how much we have to fight whilst suffering from our depression which makes it a lot worse.  

Thanks again love.  I hope you are ok,  well as ok as possible.  Bev xx

Bev you are a wonderful support to others despite your own depression. We are all here for others whenever we need it. I understand that when we are feeling suicidal especially, we may be more sensitive and that's when we need compassion not put downs. Unfortunately not everybody is compassionate, it is not learned its within us. You have a good heart like so many others here so don't ever change. If you leave this forum then those that put you down have won.

Best wishes. xxx     

Thank you my friend and you are so right.  Bev xx

Thanks Lorraine.  It's good to know I have helped others even just a bit.  Not as much as you though who are one of the most supportive and caring people I have ever met.   Bev xx

I meant right about the last bit   x

 

Stay on this site, do it for you. Don't leave for the ignorance of others. We all love and support you, that I know for sure! 

It is so interesting, that we share with each other what even those closest to us in every day life may not even know! It definitely creates a very supportive atmosphere. People with depression can struggle to fully understand. To be honest - I didn't really understand depression at all until I lived it! It's a unique illness but, everyone here understands and offers a shoulder to lean on  

Stay strong Bev! Life is so very difficult, but we are in this together! 

Fee 

xxxx

people *without depression sorry! Not people with it! Aha!

Read, re-read, and if you don't understand a post; don't criticise.

Understand that people who post here are seeking to vent, to rage, to get support...

I understood all posts and even if I didn't I wouldn't attack.

So pack it in.

We are here to support one another, not add to strife or question.

Just a thought.

Thanks fee you are so right.  It's virtually impossible for anyone who has never suffered from depression to ever fully understand how it feels and how the easiest tasks become so difficult.  I am often not in touch with my feelings so don't always recognise when I am going to get so upset with the negative thoughts coming in thick and fast,  and even suicidal ones. 

When my depression is bad anyway having to deal with everyday life leaves me feeling totally inadequate,  stupid and hopeless.  Unless I can take control of this I can end up feeling suicidal.   One of my coping strategies is to come in to a safe place like this and vent.  Getting back the positive vibes really helps stop the slide.

This is taking a chance though as if folk are not supportive I can overreact and slide further down into the black hole.  My moods plummet that quickly which is very frightening. 

Many thanks fee for being one of the lovely people who support and care for others,  and totally understand.   Love  Bev xxx

Yes I am the same Audrey.  If I don't understand a post I probably won't try and answer it,  or I feel I can't help etc.  If I do I would ask them very nicely to clarify it.   I certainly wouldn't accuse anyone of anything like 'byassing the system'  (unless it was clear they were).  But even then I would coach it in a lot more tactful way,  and try and be sensitive towards peoples feelings. 

I totally agree we are here to support and help each other.  If anyone won't do that then they have no place on here.   

Thanks  Bev xx