GIVE ME THE SUPPORT TO KEEP GOING

Thanks for your support Mooma.  I have tried many supplements and still take a variety.  I do tend to get out but I pick and choose where I go and where I will feel comfortable.  I tend to keep away from things that are to social but I'm okay with a cuppa/wine and walks along the beach with my husband.  I'm okay to go into supermarkets and shops as long as I don't run into people I know and have to talk to them.  I hate people seeing me look unwell.  The strange thing is it can go as quick as it comes and I'm free as a butterfly to go anywhere with  anyone. I feel so blessed when I'm well and get to go to something without any feelings of dread.  I have missed so many celebrations in the past month that have upset me immensely.  My husband is wonderful and says it's okay things will get better for us. Doctors have told me it's just a reoccurring anxiety/depression and haven't mentioned anything about hormones. They believe it's to do with my parrents passing away 2 years before the roller coaster ride started.( I was 37 at the time) I know it's my hormones fluctuating.  I have to be happy for the good times and I have to believe this will lift again.  I just hate not knowing when it's going to hit or how long it's going to stay.  I have three children girl 21, boys 19 & 16.  I have tried my hardest to give them all the love I can and all the wonderful experiences of growing up.  It's been very hard at times trying to hide it from them and make out everything is okay. (caught out a few times)  It's amazing how we can push ourselves for our children.  I just pray that once I'm through this I can be there for them and their children with an abundance of health and happiness.  Hugs back to you.  xxxx

Hi Raelene , it all sounds so familiar to me. I am also just turned 50 and have a daughter 20 and son 17. I lost my mother in law 12 yrs ago and at the same time my mum had breast cancer, my Dad was taken to hospital with a suspected heart attack and my grandfather passed away. It was an awful time and looking back im not sure how I coped but I did. Following that I began to lose patches of hair, suffer dizzy spells, the headaches increased and I got the dread and night sweats. I was so scared that something awful would happen to me or my family. That has eased a bit, but my issues began in earnest abot 3 yrs ago with vertigo, dizziness, head and facial pain, and these things have led to anxiety and not wanting to go out much. I have got better at going out but still won't on days when the pain is really bad. I have tried to hide it from the kids and family but they know me too well now, so now I just admit when I have a bad day. I live in hope that things will settle once I get through menopause. Not had a proper period since last June, just a little spotting. They do say that a traumatic time can bring on meno pause and I guess that's what happened. Either that or a very unfortunate coincidence. I know how you feel and hope you begin to get lots more really good days very soon. Xxx

Hi Mooma.  I to went through a rough patch 12 years ago with both my parents passing away within two years of each other.  They were both horrific deaths.  I pretty sure the stress of that and having 3 children under 10 was enough to rock the boat. It was after all this that I started to have dips of anxiety/depression.  As you said an unfortunate coincidence or it may have been going to happen anyway.  I also went down with blood poisoning about 3 years ago and I just havent been the same since.  The last 3 years have been the worse and I wonder if the blood poisoning caused it or if it was just another coincidence and periemnopause really rocked in.  The dips of anxiety are coming more frequent and staying longer. It's just so hard to live when the dips come. I'm just praying when I reach menopause and these hormones have leveled out it will be all gone.

I will be praying for you as well.

Take care

Big hugs

xxxxxxxx

Oh my goodness, there are so many similarities in our stories. My worst period of time was the last 3 yrs and kicked off with a bout of labyrinthitis. It's too much of a coincidence. I'm guessing the stress has probably kickstarted the chain of events including messing up the hormones and that combined with perimenopause was the final straw. Live in hope of some improvement soon. Xxx

Yes I agree the blood poisoning was enough to throw my body into complete shock and it wasn't strong enought to battle the fluctuations. I get so sick of trying to explain what is going on to people.  They just don't understand because their not going through it.  If i was in their boat I would probably be the same.  I have given up going to doctors when I have a dip because all they will offer me is more medication.  I have made an appointment with a ladies clinic that specializes in this sought of thing at the end of the month. I'm hoping I get a lady doctor who is understanding and can explain a little more to me about what is going on. They run thorough blood test all aimed at perimenopause/menopause. I have to travel 4 hours but I just need a doctor who can reassure me that everything is going to be okay. They deal with women's issues daily.   Do you have periods of feeling okay and then it hits you again?  Have you considered HRT or do you want to get to the other side naturally.  I don't want HRT and am trying my hardest just to handle this from day to day. 

 My last period was 3 months ago and before that they have been at 2 to 3 month intervals.  Maybe our symptoms are worse at the moment because we could be in the home run.  It's going to be a long year if I have to stay like this the whole time.  I'm scared i'm not going to get the lifts I usually have, because they are what give me my strength to keep going.   

 I pray our days are over soon. 

Sending you daily hugs.

xxxx

Hi, it all sounds so familiar. I have periods of feeling ok, never completely right but manageable and then I'll be back to awful again. It's so frustrTing. I hate it when people ask me how I am because I'm sick of it and feel that they must be too. I really can't be bothered to explain it all again. HRT has always been my last resort. I have considered it but I'm trying to lose some weight first and kind of hoping that I'll feel better for that so won't need the HRT. If only I had a crystal ball! I really want to get on with life without the daily battle. I really hope you find the answers from the new Dr, let me know how you get on. Good luck. Xx

I'm trying to get the natural progesterone that does not cause as much side effects as the sythetic ones. I heard that the synthetic ones cause side effects and the natural ones are calming ones the ones with yam or soybeans. Doctors always give people the synthetic ones why can't they give us the natural ones that go with the body. 

Because there are very few doctors who are into holistic remedies. All they know is how to treat us pharmaceutical or chemically. It's sad how far we have come from what medicine really was long ago. Doctors used to heal now they treat. Hypocratis is probably somewhere rolling over in his grave. I knew of a time when you had an ailment, the doctor would tell you what herb to take and that would cure it. There are herbs out there for every sickness but the government won't allow the medical world to treat people this way because they won't make money.

Thanks gillmm and Sharon.  I have kept diaries of this horrific journey and when I read back over them I have to sometimes ask myself "OMG how am I still here"  There have been many of times where i've had dark thoughts but it's only been because of the disgusting physical symptoms that make you feel so sick.  I'm so glad I have been stong enough to hang on.  My main symptoms have been depression/anxiety and the night sweats.   I have never had any troubles with the periods themselves.  I suppose this just goes to show how different we all are during this transition.  I've read of woman having such dreadful bleeding but that has never happened to me. I don't know of any other women going through what I'm going through unless their good at trying to hide it like me. It really is like "secret womens business at times."   I'm so glad I found this site because it gives me so much comfort in knowing that I'm not alone.  To understand all this you have had to experience it.  I know some people mean well when they try to help and offer suggestions but they have no idea what the turmoil is like.  How lucky are we to have all found each other.  Take care girls.  xxxx

agreed totally Raelene, i have also had dark thoughts, maybe because as you say we try keep a strong upper lip n put on this *i am normal* face to the outside world, when really inside we are screaming. i went from a bubbly social butterfly, to a virtual housebound shadow of my former self. planning a trip is a minefield, am i gonna be ill that day? what if the heart racing thing starts while im around people? sometimes its just easier to stay indoors. i do agree that we all vary so much in our symptoms, my mum sailed through the change, but my nan only when i started told us that she had been taken into mental health care back in the 50's cos they thought she had mental issues. thank goodness we have come on some from that era. we are very lucky to have found others here that are just like us. stay strong and well... sharon xx

 

Hi Sharon.  I know what you mean about a holiday.  It really saddens me that at this stage of our life that we can't be off holidaying like everyone else.  I've had people say to me you might be fine once you get away and enjoy some sunshine.  (if only they new)  As we know nothing takes it away - it goes when its ready.  My sister was in a psych hospital when it first started for her, that was 25 years ago.  I remember making a trip to visit her with my mother and two other sisters and it was so upsetting. Little did we know at that stage it was her hormones.  I would rather stay at home on my really bad days and have my little break downs in private. I know at first I used to run to the doctors all the time in a heap. (thank god they didnt admit me then)  I think to myself there has to be a massive big reward for all of us when we get through.  I have been tested again the last couple of days as my lower back has gone as well. I said to my husband this morning the man up above is really giving it to me at the moment. I will show him whose boss!!!!!  At least I can use my back as an excuse now!!!!   A beautiful holiday is waiting for you Sharon when all this is over.  During my good times I have got a couple of holidays in. (just lucky really)  When I look back through my diaries I think to myself OMG how did I get that one in.  I'm a primary school teacher but taking up contracts is way to hard.  The school I'm at I just do the relieving when I can and they are really good to me.  I love teaching with a passion and I love it when I have well times and can enjoy it.  I also tutor which is a lot easier than being in a classroom all day especially when I'm feeling unwell.  This dip has probably come at a good time and I just pray by the time the holidays are over things will have lifted for me and no one will know any different. 

Thanks for your friendship Sharon I really appreciate it.  Take care and stay strong yourself.  xxxx  Words of wisdom from my sister -  Accept, Float and it will Pass 

Hi Sharon,

I to am scared of going out at times because I never know when I'm going to have an anxiety attack or a panic attack. I feel calm in the comfort of my own home because of these anxieties. 

I also feel that we need a break and just distress ourselves from all the stress we have. 

Hope you are feeling better 

Take care.