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GIVE ME THE SUPPORT TO KEEP GOING

Posted , 9 users are following.

raelene_44389
raelene_44389

Hi Everyone. I'm new to this forum and thank goodness I found it.  The last four weeks have been very challenging and reading the posts on this site has given me hope and security.  I have just turned 50 and have been on the roller coaster for about 12 years.  My main symptoms are depression and horrific anxiety that comes and goes as it pleases.  I have tried so many things to correct things but nothing has really helped. Just when I think I have found the answer it hits me again.  Thank goodness I haven't taken all the meds doctors have thrown at me because I could start up my own chemist.  lol    I am doing it really hard again at the moment after 6 pretty good months.  My periods have started to space out to about every three months so I just pray my days of ups and downs are close to being over.  Being hit with this at anytime of the year is horrific but so much worse over Christmas and New Year. I'm so lucky to have a very supportive husband who has been my rock.  It hasnt all been doom and gloom but when it hits you again and again you lose all your confidence and just go into yourself.  I have found it hard over the past 10 years to make really strong friendships as I can't trust what this body is going to do. (i know you can all relate to that)   I rather keep to myself when I'm like this as I don't have to explain myself.  After 10-12 long years I have given up on trying new things and have decided to just tough it out to the end.  Please give me the extra strength I need to get through this. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.  Love, health and happiness to everyone and I pray that all your troubled days are over soon.   My sister went through the same thing and when her periods finished she didn't have any more dips.  She is my inspiration!!!!  There is hope for us all!!!  xxxxxxxxxxxx

0 likes, 28 replies

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  • susan47122
    susan47122 raelene_44389

    Posted

    Hi Raelene, I'm in the same boat you are with the anxieties hitting at anytime. With having panic attacks and anxieties to It makes it hard for me to really go out and do things because I never know when my anxieties are going to hit. I'm afrsid to go out with family because of my anxieties. I don't want to go out and with my brother and his kids because I'm afraid that I might have an anxiety or a panic attack in front of them and they are young and I don't want to frighten them It is disabling at times 

    Just do some relaxation and if you need to take time for yourself

    • raelene_44389
      raelene_44389 susan47122

      Posted

      Hi Susan.  Yes the anxiety is absolutely horrific.  I have had a few panic attacks on planes which have been so scary.  I try to keep away from anywhere that could enclose me.  I'd rather take stairs than go in a lift.  That feeling of dread is just so awful.  I have got valium 2mg to take on bad days but I try not to take them as they can become addictive.(they don't do much anyway)   I had a really bad experience with benzos when a doctor put me on them years ago when this all started.  He prescibed me xanax which is 10 times stronger than what i have now.  I started on 0.5mg and they sure did take all the horrible anxiety away, it was such a relief.  I became extremely well after 4 months and everyone thought my troubles were over.  The doc decided to take me off the xanax.  Little did we know that all the time I had been on xanax I was actually taking 2.5mg instead of 0.5. (5 times the amount) The chemist had accidentally grabbed the wrong bottle.  The label actually covered the dosage and I had no idea.  For some reason I happened to peal the label back one day and discovered the (excuse my language) BIG F....  UP!!!!!  I had no idea how serious this was but I soon found out.  It took me a year to be weaned off them and than another year of hell in detox on top of hormonal ups and downs.  I sometimes wonder how I am still here!!!!  Anyway I'm still here and I'm not going to let this nightmare stop me from dreaming of better days ahead.  I/we  have to (keep positive that they will come. I know what you mean about hiding from the kids.  There have been times over the past years where I've had to put that smile on my face around my kids and make out everything is okay.  (very hard)   All I can say is thank god or someone for the better days we have.

      Thanks for your encouraging words and support.

      Take care yourself and stay strong.  xxxxx

       

    • susan47122
      susan47122 raelene_44389

      Posted

      Hi Raelene 

      I wish some one could detox me off Attivan there are times I feel like it does not help and then there are times it does. I'm so sensitive to medications I don't know what to take for anxieties Have you ever been in that same situation

    • raelene_44389
      raelene_44389 susan47122

      Posted

      Hi Susan.  On my really bad days the low dose of valium I have doesnt even touch the sides.  I'm strong enough not to take anymore because they can become addictive.  As I said I've had a bad experience with a much stronger benzo due to a chemist stuffing up the prescription and I'm very cautious of them now.   `When I'm hit with the anxiety dips I just try to ride them out by staying close to home and being kind to myself. I try to accept it, float with it and let it pass.  I haven't found anything yet to ease the anxiety except for the really strong benzos which I won't touch again. It's a shame they cause such distress to the body because they really do work magic.  The more you take, the more you need and it becomes a viscious cycle. Then to come off them is another horrific journey.  Are you taking Ativan daily and how much?

      I wish I could be more helpful with an answer to the anxiety as I know it's so cruel.

      Lets be positive though and believe that it won't be around for ever!!

      Take care.

      xxxxxx

    • susan47122
      susan47122 raelene_44389

      Posted

      Hi Raelene 

      How can I become strong enough so I can get off my ativan. Scared to stop it due to anxieties and it can cause seizures if you stop it suddenly. 

      I need your advise on how I can ween myself off the ativan

    • raelene_44389
      raelene_44389 susan47122

      Posted

      Hi Susan. 

      It's a really slow process and can take some time.  You really need to get guideance off a doctor who can keep an eye on you.  Whatever you do don't just stop it suddenly.  How much are you taking daily? 

      Sending you hugs and strength.

      xxxxxx

       

    • susan47122
      susan47122 raelene_44389

      Posted

      I take 1mg of ativan in the morning 1mg at dinner and 1/2 a mg at bedtime with my trazodone. I would never stop it suddenly because that can cause seizurs in people. Do you ever have nights were you are so worked up and anxious that you can't sleep. What do you do about that because for a couple of night this week I have been restless in and out of the bathroom and having problems falling asleep and I do not want to raise my trazodone then I will be to tired to get up in the morning. Right now I take 50mg of trazodone at bedtime
    • raelene_44389
      raelene_44389 susan47122

      Posted

      Hi Susan.  My troubles are that I can go along okay and then I'm hit with the horrible anxiety.  The dips are what I find the hardest to handle.  With this scenario I don't require to take diazepam all the time.  When the horrible anxiety hits I try to just tough it out.  Diazepam is there if it gets really really bad, I only take a very low dose and it hardly does anything.  I'm in a dip at the moment and I'm up to day 32.  I just pray it goes over soon. I wouldn't say I get anxious or worked up about anything it just appears and stays with me constantly.  I have noticed the dips are staying longer the deeper I go into perimenopause.  This is the one thing I want to go when I reach menopause.  It is the most horrific feeling.  I read up that ativan is a bit stronger than diazapam.  If you want to start coming off it I strongly recommend you get the guideance off a professional.  It would be wrong of me to suggest a way to withdrawl off it.  I hope you understand that darl.  If I can't sleep I sometimes get up and have a cup of tea and read for a while.  My sleep is very ordinary as well.  So at the moment I'm riding it out and hoping this dip is close to being over.

      Take care and be kind to yourself.

      It's a journney we will get through. (I've been on it 12 years)  

  • sharcerv52408
    sharcerv52408 raelene_44389

    Posted

    Hi Raelene and welcome!

    I joined this forum about six months ago and let me tell you it is tremendous the amount of support I have received here.  When I stumbled upon this forum, I was beside myself with fear because of all these symptoms that I was having. I didn't know what was wrong with me and I began to fear the worst--that I was dying!

    What a relief it was to learn that I was in the company of all of these wonderful women. No one prior to finding this forum, had told me that menopause came with all of these crazy symptoms. You always hear about heat flushes and weight gain but very little was said about a whole host of other symptoms that are so frightening and debilitating. So you have come to the right place. We're glad to have you with us. We're here to help.

    Hugs,

    Sharlene

    • raelene_44389
      raelene_44389 sharcerv52408

      Posted

      Hi Sharcerv.  Thanks for your kind welcome.

      I agree with you this forum is such a relief and comfort.  It's nice to know that we're not alone on this struggling journey. Have you actually reached menopause or are you still in the pre stage?  I have tried so many things over the years and I would hate to calculate how much money I have spent. (double thousands for sure)  Just when I think something is working I'm hit with it again and back to the drawing board.  I've got to the stage after 12 years to stop trying new things and just tough it out to the end.  I would rather keep natural and not have any HRT.  The amount of things I have been offered by doctors is scary especially if i would have taken them all.  I would be a walking zombie in a psyc ward I reckon.  It gets to a stage where its to hard to work it all out and you just have to let nature take its course. It really is a day by day journey and when you wake with a better feel in your body it's such freedom.  I have beat myself up over the years asking myself what have I done to my body to cause it to be doing what its doing now.  Still haven't found the answer!!!!!  The only thing I can put it down to is that some woman have more sensitive bodies than others and the changes are to overwhelming for them.  Looks like we are the sensitive ones and also the strong ones with beautiful hearts. 

      Take care and bless the good days.

      Hugs back to you. xxxx

  • Crazydaisy72
    Crazydaisy72 raelene_44389

    Posted

    Hi Raelene, have a huge hug for getting this far, still having your sanity and getting through Christmas is a huge triumph! x
    • raelene_44389
      raelene_44389 Crazydaisy72

      Posted

      Hi Craizydaisy.  Thanks for your support, it means so much.  Yes having a dip at Christmas and school holidays is a hard one for sure.  It has been very low key for me for sure.  I have missed so many social gatherings which makes me so upset becuase if I was well I would be the first one there.  I have ran out of excuses!!!!  I have hurt my lower back in the past couple of days so at least I have something obvious now to use for an excuse.  Huge hugs do help!!  I often say to my hushand I just need a big cuddle. 

      Huge hugs back to you.

      Thanks once again.  xxxxx

       

  • Geegemiai
    Geegemiai raelene_44389

    Posted

    I am new to this page!

    First of all how are you feeling? It's been a year since your last post! I feel your pain at 51 I have dealing with these symptoms for 3 years but recently it's become unbearable ! Some days I feel I can't go on each day it's a different symptom I don't even go to the doctor anymore because I feel it's ridiculous to say all the symptoms I have. Woozy and pressure in my head, sharp pains in my head all over the place pains on my sides of the abdomen hot flashes lack of sleep or only able to sleep 4-5 hours, the rushing feeling from my feet upwards. dizziness electrical sensations on my head, sadness , dry skin, anxiousnesss, ZERO motivation, loss of libido weight gain hair loss ! I don't know if I am forgetting anything but I am exhausted tired of feeling ill wish I was who I use to be. Looking for naturals alternatives! Does anyone have any suggestions of Hingis that may have worked . s.o.s

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