Posted , 11 users are following.
Today I experienced a very strange feeling. I could literally feel the physical pain of my heart breaking but (because of the Fluoxetine) I didn't feel the sadness that goes along with that. I feel so detached from life and people. I'm so caught up in my own thoughts and I don't know if I'll ever escape the confines of my own mind. At the moment I can barely think straight. My thoughts are all jumbled up ( they don't even make sense half of the time) and it's like I'm living a parallel existence outside of the life that everyone else is living.
Anyway, I'm supposed to be a christian. In any event, I've always had moral inclination and musing about God. But today I thought, "Is it even possible to have a relationship with God in the midst of a depression?" I mean, my mind is my own worst enemy right now. I cannot focus long enough on the things I need to do to have a successful life. There are all these rules and laws and decrees and modes of being that one must follow in order yo be a disciple of Christ (in name and deed). I really can't right now. I feel a million miles away from God and people. I'm still trying to get out of my own head space. Where is God in the midst of my depression? Does He understand what's going on better than I do? Most days I can't even pray so how do we have a relationship? These thoughts literally broke my heart this morning.
4 likes, 25 replies