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God and depression

Posted , 11 users are following.

MsMcbeth
MsMcbeth

Today I experienced a very strange feeling. I could literally feel the physical pain of my heart breaking but (because of the Fluoxetine) I didn't feel the sadness that goes along with that. I feel so detached from life and people. I'm so caught up in my own thoughts and I don't know if I'll ever escape the confines of my own mind. At the moment I can barely think straight. My thoughts are all jumbled up ( they don't even make sense half of the time) and it's like I'm living a parallel existence outside of the life that everyone else is living.

Anyway, I'm supposed to be a christian. In any event, I've always had moral inclination and musing about God. But today I thought, "Is it even possible to have a relationship with God in the midst of a depression?" I mean, my mind is my own worst enemy right now. I cannot focus long enough on the things I need to do to have a successful life. There are all these rules and laws and decrees and modes of being that one must follow in order yo be a disciple of Christ (in name and deed). I really can't right now. I feel a million miles away from God and people. I'm still trying to get out of my own head space. Where is God in the midst of my depression? Does He understand what's going on better than I do? Most days I can't even pray so how do we have a relationship? These thoughts literally broke my heart this morning.

4 likes, 25 replies

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  • cycad
    cycad MsMcbeth

    Posted

    Hello MsMcbeth.

    I'm not a Christian and I respect peoples religious beliefs and so I don't claim to know the Christian way of viewing things. But I'm positive that God, all loving God, all embracing God, non judging God, will accept even the craziest most deranged psychopath, as a child of his own creation - with love, unconditional. So whatever level of relationship you form will be comprehended and understood. I'm sure of it.

    • MsMcbeth
      MsMcbeth cycad

      Posted

      Thanks Seanettle,

      Sometimes it's hard. Because of the stigma that surrounds mental illness I often have to remind myself that I'm not malingering or lazy or anything like that, I truly am incapacitated because I have an illness. I sometimes feel anxious because I feel like God expects more from me but I'm stuck because I can't give anymore than I'm giving at present. I know it's not a lot, but it truly is all I can give at the moment and I really am trying.

    • cycad
      cycad MsMcbeth

      Posted

      Totally hear you. You're welcome.

      I know. I feel the same way, always questioning myself about whether or not I'm measuring up to myself and in the eyes of the Higher Power. But here's one of my favourite movie quotes. It's said in a different context to what we're talking about but it's still relevant, gives me a perspective. "...God will understand, my lord. And if he doesn't, then he is not God and we need not worry."

    • borderriever
      borderriever MsMcbeth

      Posted

      Sometimes the Lord will offer chances, we need to identify and run with them. Sometimes it is fear when we choose to fear these changes then blame ourselves when we begin to see what has been offered to us.

      In life I am now a firm believer that we need to live our lives and not live others chances and changes.When we become adults we all leave the nest or set. Generally life is full of risks and we are no different than anyone or thing, sometimes life can be a calulated risk, we decide to run or not towards these chances, and if we fail, we learn and move on, I suppose our Lord expects these curved balls in all our lives. Life would be very boring if we did not pick up chances and run with them

      BOB 

  • Guest
    Guest MsMcbeth

    Posted

    Depression is a real thing, a human thing. We are beings that are part biological, part spiritual. Depression is biological and may also be a spiritual attack from the enemy. Make sure you rebuke the devil, and take care of both your body and your spiritual health.

    I am also a Christian who suffers from depression. Never allow it to affect your relationship with God. God is not punishing you. God has all the plans, I'm trusting Him that there is something to all of this we will realize later. I've heard a pastor once say that faith is not a feeling. It was heartening to know, because I don't feel so happy I'm floating, I'm severely down by a lot of things that have happened to me. Though im suffering I still choose to have faith in our Lord. Have faith, even if it is as small as a mustard seed. Sometimes, it's all that I feel I can muster up during my darkest times.

    Though it seems sad that God would allow us to suffer this way, our real happiness is in heaven. Keep your sight on the light that is Jesus throughout this life. I'm in it with you.

    • MsMcbeth
      MsMcbeth Guest

      Posted

      Thanks for the encouragement, guitrrst. The wording of your message tells me that you know exactly how I feel. I'm also just going through the motions right now, hoping that God is silently steering me in the right direction now when I feel so lost and unable to help myself. For a while now I've wondered why I even waste mu time getting up and going to church when I feel so disconnected from God and people and the whole church experience. A few days ago, thankfully, I found my reason to continue going - it's the best way that I know how to hold onto God and actively remind myself that I'm still a christian. I have to actively choose to be a christian.

      Thanks, also, for your comment on faith. It's helpful (and hopeful) to think of it as a choice and action rather than a feeling. I don't know how but we're going to get through this.

    • borderriever
      borderriever Guest

      Posted

      Our Lord has a great sense of humour I feel. Why does He throw curved balls could it be He wants us to know that life is not only a trail it is also a learning and we should be able to laugh at ourselves, as we crawl from one problem to another. We are all like children to him

      BOB

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