Good Days/Bad Days

I absolutely had those thoughts (and I do right now while I am increasing my dose).   Each time I eventually got better,  although I can’t remember exactly when I had that ah ha moment.  I think when I first started Zoloft that I started to feel better after 2-3 weeks.  After I had my son,  I went through severe postpartum anxiety and depression.  I thought I was totally losing my mind.  That time around I didn’t feel better until about 4 mos in,  but I went from 50mg to 150mg during that time.  I would write out on my porch with chalk things like “This too shall pass”,  “It only FEELS like forever”,  “You can and WILL get through this”.  I didn’t believe these things when I wrote them,  but every time I felt like running away,  I would see that. Eventually as the weeks went on,  I started believing that things would get better. And they eventually did.  Being on the same dose for 7 weeks does seem like it should be doing something for you.  That is a long time to be suffering (trust me, I know!).  I am currently only 2 1/2 weeks in to this increased dose,  so living in fear of living is my life right now.  Hoping it will ease up soon.  Things could get better for you in a weeks time,  but I would certainly speak to my doctor about it at that point.  Sorry you are suffering too It’s strange to think about other people going through the same thing we are.  Looking around outside,  you see other people and think they have everything together,  but in reality they might be in the same boat as us.

Thank you so much for your reply - it feels so much better knowing someone else is going threw it and knows it’ll pass. I was previously on zoloft for 2 years and went off for a couple months and went on and off again within a couple weeks so I think  really messed up my system. I’m hoping that’s why it’s taking so long. Yesterday I had a good day and I didn’t feel like I was obsessing over the thoughts so bad - but today hasn’t been good . I just feel like crying all the time that I’ll never view life in the same way again. It’s so ironic that I took these to help with depression, but the anxiety thoughts have made everything worse than before. I’m afraid I’ll never feel normal again

 Started at 50mg for 6 weeks,then on to 100mg for 6 weeks now on first week at 150mg. Up and down like a yoyo is the only way I could describe the last few months. There is a good day coming I am sure of that......so you are right I am in the boat too!

How are you feeling today, Lisa?

Hey Ashley - still the same I can’t get through a day without crying. I’m going to my GP on Monday to see what he says. I’m coming up on 8 weeks at 75mg, so I’m sure there’s supposed to be a difference by now. I’m not sure if it’s taking longer since this is the second time around or not. All I know is this is really draining me and I feel like the increased anxiety from this is never going to go away . I’m wondering if this has just stopped working for me and I’m just getting the side effects and no benefits. I’m so worried that these thoughts will never go away and I’ll be stuck in this mind frame forever. This is unlike anything I’ve experienced before - even before ever going on zoloft!  How are you feeling? 

Hey Lisa,

I feel different...  like the anxiety is less,  but I am more depressed than before.  I think mainly from being impatient and tired of feeling like I am living in the Ground Hog's day movie.  I am glad you are going in to see your GP on Monday.  Hopefully you will just need a dose increase and something to help with the side effects of the increase.  It is very brave of you to keep at it for so long,  and you should be proud of that.  Try and remember that you are not your illness and that it is curable.  We just have to keep sticking to it until we find what works.  You can get through this.  I am here if you need someone to talk to.

Hey Ashley.. I’m happy the anxiety is gone for you! That’s a good step. I hear you about the depression, I couldn’t agree more. It’s like we’re just waiting for the day to wake up and feel like ourselves and anytime it doesn’t happen it’s like a punch in the stomach. It sounds like your side effects aren’t taking too long to subside which is good! I’m hoping after Monday I’ll be on the right track - I’m just scared I’ll have to go through the really bad stuff again. Thank you so much for your replies, it really helps especially since our side effects are so similar. Have your thoughts gone away? I’m here any time to talk to as well! 

The anxiety isn’t gone yet.  It’s still there,  but I also started with extreme anxiety,  so being able to sit on my couch for an hour without having to pace the house all day is an improvement.  I don’t see my doctor for another week or so,  so I am hoping things will be much better by then.  Had a rough night,  but got about 5-6 hours total of sleep, I only think I woke up once or twice which is an improvement.  I am glad that I am keeping a journal since increasing my dose.  It helps me to see the small improvements that I might not have seen otherwise.  Let me know how things go at your appointment on Monday. <3

How are things going for you,  dn37223?

Hi. Middle aged man here for a change! Since moving up to 150 mg 10 days ago I have been feeling pretty grim but will keep going . 50mg ,100mg did very little to help so waiting to see if after a few weeks the 150 does its best . Failing that then further increase . Failing that will have to start over again with something else .I have a very good doctor so happy to go with his advice . Patience is the name of the game for us all . 

I hope you make good progress soon. 

At least the anxiety is not as extreme - any improvement is good improvement! It also helps a bit in seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Have you tried taking anything to help you sleep? My GP prescribed me Ativan to help with the side effects but I refused to take it since I’ve heard how addictive it can be... but every few days I take 1mg before bed, it allows me to get a full nights sleep without waking up every hour with racing thoughts. And I find it makes the following day a bit easier. Might be something to consider short term for you? Are you still having the thoughts we talked about? I’m still dealing with them but sometimes they’re a bit easier to fight off. I’ll let you know how Monday goes xo 

Oh! I forgot you mentioned Xanax before.. oops! Same thing goes though.. I think with our anxiety we think the worst in terms of taking other medication, but whatever helps us get through this, we shouldn’t fight it! 

The past few nights I haven’t needed to take the Xanax to fall asleep,  but yesterday was a rough night,  so I took Motrin PM and half a Xanax.  I hate having to take it,  but I knew I wasn’t going to be able to fight the anxiety when I had been fighting with it for so long.  I asked my doctor about it yesterday and he said that I am on a low enough dose,  even if I take the full mg,  that I shouldn’t have any problems tapering off of it when I am ready to.  The thoughts are still there,  but getting a little easier to push them away.  Still worried about being stuck in my own head forever,  but starting to see a light,  just not sure if I am moving towards the end of the tunnel,  or just standing in place.  Thanks for letting me know how you are doing.

I hear ya on hating having you take it. But I’m slowly coming around to the fact that it helps me, and at this point whatever helps is what I’m going to do. It’s so crazy how similar our stories are. I’ve been obsessing over google and forums for weeks to find someone that’s going through the exact same thing as me (mostly about the thoughts) and really being stuck in my own head, and then I found you! Right now I feel like I’m standing in place, but I feel hopeful about my appointment with my GP. What I’m hoping to hear is that within the next couple weeks I’ll feel back to normal... but reality tells me I’ll have to start all over again with a different medication. Please keep me updated on how you’re doing! I hope tonight is easier for you xo 

Hey Ashely. How are you feeling today? Hope your night was better. I had an “ok” day today. A bit easier to keep my thoughts at bay, but still feeling stuck. I’ve been taking 1mg of Ativan at night for the last 3 nights so I’m not sure if that has something to do with it or not. Tomorrow is doctor day - I’ll let you know how it goes. Keep me posted on how your days are going! 

My day is going okay so far,  morning anxiety is a little easier today.  Still trying to keep my spirits up even though it has been difficult.  Still only at 3 1/2 weeks,  so hopeful for some relief soon.  How did things go at your doctors appointment?

How are things going with you, DM?  Any relief yet?

Glad your day is going okay. Doctors appointment went as expected... he wants me to switch to Cymbalta 30mg. He prescribed me clonazapam as well to get through the first couple weeks. I guess im starting all over again  

Hi Ashley. Still feel dreadful first thing in the morning and then things come and go all day but by night time feel quite logical .

I have been on these pills for a long time now but I am dealing with issues I have lived with for years so don't expect a quick fix. We need to look at this positively . Although the way we feel just now is grim the way we felt before the medication was dreadful too so for me it has to be done . We are giving it a go and it seems to work differently for everyone . There are way too many pessimistic comments on these forums as far as I can see . 

Pills are not the only answer . Fresh air , excercise, along  with controlled  medication , an optimistic view and we will crack this .

Easier said than done,I only know that too well but it is the only way.

Stick in Ashley😊👍

I'm sorry you have to switch to something else.  I hope it works out well for you.  Keep me updated on how things go.  We'll get through this one away or another.

That is very true.  The mornings for me are usually the worse,  but night time I feel more myself.  I try and make sure to go for a walk everyday,  and step outside for some air when I am feeling really low.  It has been hard doing anything,  but everyday we have to push ourselves a little more.  Even if it is just something like starting a load of laundry,  or getting ourselves to stop pacing for a few minutes.  It is hard work,  but the past couple days have been better than most.  Praying things continue to get better.

It’s okay, I guess it’s best to know now rather than suffering another few weeks just to get the same news. I took my first tablet last night - feeling quite dizzy today but I can handle that.. it’s the terrible anxiety I have a lot of trouble with. I’m really hoping that doesn’t come back. How’s your day going Ashley? 

Hey Ashley - just checking in on how you’re doing? 

Things are going better.  I have had some ups and downs,  but trying to be positive and look back at where I started.  I know the meds will only get me so far,  so it’s been a bit of a struggle getting myself out of the house, but I am still trying even if it means only walking to the park in my neighborhood.  I scheduled an eye exam for tomorrow,  and wishing I hadn’t now,  but going to do it anyways.  (But totally brining my Xanax just Incase I have a meltdown).  How are things going with the med change?  Have you had any start up side effects yet?

At least things are getting better - even if it’s just a tiny bit each day. As long as you can look back and know you’re making progress. It’s great you’re taking steps to feel some normalcy, even if it’s just sitting on the porch for a little! 

The new meds  (dare I say)  seem to be really effective. I almost feel as though I’ve done a complete 360. I know I’m only a few days in and can still have side effects, but I’m just trying to enjoy it while it lasts. My anxiety/thoughts are virtually gone. Although I find it’s hard to fall asleep, but once I’m asleep I usually stay asleep. I’ve been keeping up on the clonazapam so maybe that’s helping with the side effects I would be having. My doctor said it’s possible the zoloft has lost its effectiveness for me as I was on it for 2 years so I was just getting the bad stuff. I’m happy I switched. If by 8 weeks you are still feeling down, maybe mention to your GP about an SNRI - mine is called Cymbalta/Duluzetine.. I’m on 30mg right now. Keep me posted on how it’s going.. try to keep positive! Xo