Grrrr my GP telling me Diazepam the world's worst

I wont go into to much detail but supposedly last September had my first panic attack at 28 years old male and after 2 x chest xray's, 2 x ECG's, blood tests I am supposedly suffering "Anxiety"

Was prescribed Sertraline 50mg but refused to take for several weeks until Dr sat down and gave some diazepam to take with the sertraline to help.... 2mg up to 3 times a day. I was taking 1/2 every day or so and then NYE had my dosage if sertraline upped to 100mg but dr at first refused to give more diazepam and said the withdrawal is worse than heroin. Told him that I won't up dosage without diazepam to help the anxiety surrounding taking the sertraline and ended up compromised on 14 more 2mg diazepam.

11th Jan I go back to my GP as I have noticed a significant weight gain over Xmas and to ask about more diazepam as was running out. Same nonsense again but eventually gave in got another 14 x 2mg diazepam.

I have had a cold/man flu (haha), for the past week but have felt rubbish and have actually being taking the diazepam daily for the past 3 days as have felt on edge and will be going back Monday for more but am expecting to be told no.

Is there anything else I can ask for? I have read others on diazepam for many years and am fully aware the withdrawal if not controlled can be deadly but 1) If I am addicted I shall wean myself off 2) I take no more than 6mg a day and that is rare.

I habe heard 2mg is more a placebo effect ams xanax is alot stronger so dont understand what the problem is.

I start CBT Tuesday for 6 weeks (to start) and my life stresses are still here mainly living in a small 1 bedroom property that was originally suited for my partner and myself (10 years ago we moved here) and now habitats our 3 children (1 of which has behaviour issues) we private rent so cant even get help from the council and since the panic attack haven't worked so am also panicked about finances as they are running out fast which in turn means I cant private rent a bigger property plus where I live we become a city several years ago and house prices aswell as rental have almost doubled.

I am barely sleeping, stressed, anxious, depressed and the way I feel I would rather be on benzos until things ease at home whether that be 1 month or 1 year but not sure where or what else I can do. I have found a website that I can buy diazepam from but they are at a premium (£80 for 30)

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