Guilty binge drinker
Posted , 5 users are following.
hi everyone,
I am detoxing at home from drinking i dont know how many bottles of vodka, and beer for the last 5 days around the clock the first three days the last 2 days to avoid the horrible withdrawl symptoms, then when i cant anymore i must take valium 2 times a day or else i feel i will die. today is the first day since i started the detox that i can est solid food, to get stronger and get the anxiety, guilt and confusion out of my mind, from all the people i could have hurt in relapse. i cant go cold turkey or else i feel i will die. This pattern happens once every 2 months, in between i dont drink at all. Im what you call a binge drinker. My mother and grandfather where alcoholics so i suppose its in my genetics. I dont know what do to get better soon, i need to go to work in the next four days and i feel horrible, both emotionally and physically. i feel tired, shaky and anxious and so so depressed. I need to get well asap and i know there is no miracle but any advice will help. i dont even know how i get home when i travel from abroad, dont remember the taxis, the plane and the train home... im surprise i havent been killed or kidnapped, ohhh and the money i spend stupidly during my binge drinking days, it terrifies me.
JUST NEED SOME SUPPORT FROM OTHER RIGHT NOW. have been today crying all day, after the physical pain comes the depression for me and the guilt and this is where i am right now.
0 likes, 17 replies
Robin2015 Chesca27
Posted
Tough situation for you Chesca. Rollercoaster ride ever so often and repetitive! I WAS like you. Guilt, nervousness and tired of constantly looking for bottles i had previously hidden from my wife! Where are they. Check out The C3 Foundation website. WAtch the videos and consider medication. Only medication will help you. Joanne from The C3 Foundation can hell you. Best of luck😃 Robin
Chesca27 Robin2015
Posted
HI Robin thank you for your message. I dont have any outside support ans currently i live in a small town and there is no such help here. The closest is 2 hours away, and i have so much om my plate, a household to be the breadwinner all alone. i wish i had help close by. i did get selicro a while back and still have 2 boxes but havent used it because of the side effects, but ill go back and see a psychiatrist to get something for my anxiety. thank you for your support. X
Robin2015 Chesca27
Posted
The C3 foundation does online help or live help! That might help you.
HumptyDumpty43 Chesca27
Posted
Hi Chesca,
I've just read your post and the first thing that struck me is have you got any outside support or are you trying to do this alone? It seems to me that if you had some external intervention either from your GP or a dedicated alcohol team then you would have access to specialist help - even if it's just someone on the end of the telephone offering you support and encouragement during your drinking days. My first step would be to go and see my GP. Do this first thing tomorrow morning and maybe they can sign you off from work so you can concentrate on your recovery.
Let us know how you get on.
All the best.
Claire xx
Chesca27 HumptyDumpty43
Posted
I wish i had a gp here. i live in a small town with only backward people and going to see doctors is 2 hours away and expensive. i can only start using my Selincro again and my anxiety problems solve them somehow. thank you. xx
HumptyDumpty43 Chesca27
Posted
Hi Chesca,
I've just copied the following links for you to maybe try?
I haven't tried them myself as my GP is very local to me but any help or advice they could give you
might help point you in the right direction and as Robin has said, Joanna from the C3 Foundation seems an amazing person with great information and pointers. All the best Claire xx
www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-support
You can also ask about any free local support groups and other alcohol counselling that may suit you. Find alcohol support services in your area If you have become physically dependent and need to stop drinking completely, stopping overnight could be harmful.
www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-support-services
The national agency on alcohol misuse for England and Wales. Provides general information about alcohol, and can help put you in touch with your nearest alcohol advice centre. Call: 020 7928 7377. Visit the Alcohol Concern website. NHS Choices. This site provides advice and information on alcohol and offers a database of support and treatment services
Chesca27 HumptyDumpty43
Posted
thank you so much for all this valuable information though i am based in spain. i will check it out thank you so much. XX
Robin2015 Chesca27
Posted
Spain has very cheap wine, beer and alcohol which does not help you, obviously. A struggle for certain and you confirmed that you are the breadwinner. I still think the The C3 Foundation can help since they are starting a live chat or online help in May as far as i know. Best to contact them! The Sinclair Method is the best with 70% success rate😃
Chesca27 Robin2015
Posted
Yea this is a big drinking country, its very normal for people to have beer at 10am and no one blinks an eye, and by 12pm having wine etc. I have 2 new boxes of Selincro i adquired from my psychiatrist a year ago but i took it once and never again because of the side effects but i will start to use it and hope everything will go well. today i feel normal and like myself again after 5 full days of at home detox and i dont want to relapse again, as i usually do every 2 months. thank u all so much for your support and i will check out the live chat in May. Its comforting to know im not alone in this. THANK YOU!!
Robin2015 Chesca27
Posted
You can stay sober and be happier. Stop completely like i did 31st December 2012. 6 years sober. Never felt better, look and feel younger and no guilt anymore. Amazing😁 you are ready Chesca...
Chesca27 Robin2015
Posted
thank you so much for your support Robin, you are a true inspiration and i hope to get where you are someday. EVERYONE here has given me inspiration and confidence in this short time, more than ive had in years. I never opened up with anyone, but now im glad i did. God bless you xoxoxo
Robin2015 Chesca27
Posted
Dear Chesca, How is your week shaping up so far?Just wondering..Robin
Chesca27 Robin2015
Posted
Dear Robin,
I just came back from a short work trip abroad and i had no temptation to drink, of course I still felt disgusted by the thought of alcohol as i had just recovered from withdrawls a few days ago, none the less i am glad i did even try a glass of wine. The true test will come again in about a month or 2 months time when the cravings come back in social events, but i shall take my tablet of Selincro this time.
Thank you so much for checking up on me, it means the world. How are you? I Hope you are well and it will be so nice to keep in touch with you. Wish you and everyone a wonderful Easter. xoxoxo
HumptyDumpty43 Chesca27
Posted
Hi Chesca I have replied to you with a couple of links I found but my message is still being moderated!! Maybe I'm not allowed to post links to other sites. Anyway it was a link to the Drinkaware website and a link to the NHS Alcohol advice website as they both said that they could let people know local places for alcohol advice. Claire xx
cormac10408 Chesca27
Posted
hi my drinking pattern is the exact same as yours.
i know how hard it is to try and pick yourself up and rebuild yourself physically and mentally every two months but you have to do it. in a week everything will be fine. just keep eating and replensihing your body so as not too prolong the withdrawal and to flush your system.
this will be ok, you will be ok. just keep trying and get back on the horse.
the anxiety and withdrawal will subside, after a five day relapse i would shake uncontrollably in bed knowing that one drink of whiskey would stop this.
the question is why do i not want another drink and the answer is because i know what it has done to me over the past week and it has made me how i feel right now!
stay strong and good luck