Had anyone considered giving up?

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Been suffering afib for six months. Can’t function and mentally struggling every second. Always in constant fear and depression. Tried everything I can but don’t see any hope. I want to get back to the old good life so much and be a normal me. But as time goes by, I realize it’s impossible and I’m stuck for life. There’s no way out and no cure. There’s no hope in the future. I just wanted to take the anti anxiety pill and sleep, whenever I woke up I felt immediate anxious and hopeless. I used to be very engaged into my kids life, now even when the kids want to play with me, I don’t feel the passion to play with them. All I want is sleeping. 

There’s no quality for living like this. I’m affecting my family and kids. And there’s no hope to get back to normal. I know afib is not death sentence. But life sentence is worse than death. I know afib is not life threatening if treated properly, but alive doesn’t mean living life. Being only 37 and have three very young kids, I don’t know how to live a normal life anymore. Maybe an end is better than endless suffering. 

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  • Posted

    Go to therapy and talk about this,anxiety is a dreadful condition to be in,I really sympathise. Try to accept AF and take your meds,all will be fine. You can have a long and happy life once you have learnt to accept it.
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  • Posted

    Hi, I remember 12 years ago when I first had mine and it does seem really scary, each time I had a missed beat I would panic in the hope I had another one, I was constantly checking my pulse thinking this seemed a really debilitating thing to have but really it may not be. Adding this complication into an already busy life and if you are feeling down and depressed it certainly can seem it it is taking over but you have a a lovely family and you can get on with life to a near as normal extent and your family would be devastated without you and you have a fulfilling life to live. About 6 years ago I decided to try everything. Singing, Acting, Quiz Shows, I carry on as normal and try not to let to get the better of me and I have succeeded with all these things I have done and continue to do so. Please do not look upon it like an awful burden, just think, yes I have it and I am going to lead the most normal life possible and embrace what you have smile
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  • Posted

     Good morning,  you sound like me 4 years ago when I was diagnosed with this  dreadful heart condition. I felt just like you did waiting and wondering,scared to go anywhere  no energy or ambition to do anything my attitude was why bother.  Why me was my my question but then I realized it is what it is and I could either stay in bed or  get up and face this dreadful condition or let it win.So you need to put your head/mind in a place where you can move on from this you have a family and your children don’t deserve this.They are Suffering too because their daddy is not the same and they feel that. I speak from experience it was either lay there and die get up and be the parent that I was before all this get your family involved in the diagnosis that you have so they can understand it to once I did that it all fell into place .I’m not saying every day’s a good day but it’s a lot better than laying in bed and slowly  dying .This is the best place to be when you feel hopeless everybody on this site has been there and done that so listening to other peoples experience is what’s got me through  at times when I felt hopeless ... misery likes company if you will..God bless you and good luck to you
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  • Posted

    Please read these posts and I'm sure that you will find that many of us have gone through these feelings of hopelessness and despair. 

      I have a fib... now permanent, for the past 7 years. 

    Im aware of the anxiety feeling every minute of everyday and some days I feel rubbish!

     However, I researched and found drJohnm...he's a electrocardio specialist and is a fellow sufferer. He is young too. His articles are published and he is regarded very highly. These articles plus the help on here have helped me cope. 

       Also read the bisoprolol buddies..and also research betablockers... when I was taking the bisoprolol the side effects were horrendous. This med is well documented on here. After 5 years it was changed to atenolol...same problem...lots of side effects including depression. I'm now beta blocker free...side effects gone. This may not be the cause of your depression..but I'm very suspicious. Many docs will not accept these side effects. i struggled to get off them. They work for some,not for me.

       So read up drjohnm, posts on here. You are not alone . We are with you,to help all we can. Easy to say...acceptance...but on the positive look at what you have around you...a family who love you dearly. Put it down to a big hiccup! You have friends on here...believe me. We know where you are in your head. Most of us have been there. 

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    • Posted

      Well said Elizabeth and we are convinced that it is linked to stomach problems via the Vagus nerve so it would be interesting to know if Sarah and Diana and li29885 have noticed the same.
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    • Posted

      Yes  I have noticed the same thing on certain things that I eat and I will not eat them anymore but I do believe it’s not 100% caused by that because there’s times if I eat too much I get a fib  if I eat  too little I get the a fib if I sleep on my left side,  Too long in between eating I get a fib so I think it’s stomach but I also think it’s other things also you agree?
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  • Posted

    I felt very despondent. I had a stroke as well caused by the AF. I had three ablations. Each one improved the AF a bit more than the previous one. I was still having episodes caused by my anxiety. I was prescribed a course of Mindfulness. I did the course for 8 weeks and have practiced meditation every day since. I have not had one episode since. I have times of having ectopics and small runs of SVT but mostly in control and feel a different person. It seems so stupid that something that I can do myself could have fixed me. When I told my cardiologist he said that science is behind it as it controls the adrenaline bursts. Also try looking at Dr Sanjay Gupta on YouTube and Facebook. He is a consultant cardiologist at York hospital and produces a lot of very good information that has also helped me. AF will not kill you and you have to get that in your psyche.

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  • Posted

    Wow....had afib on and off for quite a few years....understand the tiredness and how the sleep deprivation can get you feeling...I was very vital and active...rode my horses and competed in jumping and cross country events...accelerating your heart rate is not necessarily going to put you into afib...what's important is for you to have a treadmill stress test....not a chemically induced one...for your own peace of mind....it will help you to see...under a very controlled situation with doctors everywhere...that you CAN function ...the meds you are on can cause these terrible feelings of exhaustion and depression....I , by my own decision...refuse to take them... Please let your.doctors know about your concerns and if they seem ambivalent about them...you must seek other and better practitioners who can think outside the box...don't give up....get by this initial "despair" and realize that you aren't alone in this....if you become.a regular on this site...you will find a really support group of other sufferers....some to just commiserate with and others who have found ways to get by the symptoms and reactions to them...you are going to have to get more specific about describing your own special case so we can help if our symptoms are similar...Please respond to this and maybe I can ease.your mind...I still ride my horses and.compete even at the age of 66...all is not lost...this CAN be controlled and if you have to make some modifications to your lifestyle...accept that and start slowly on your uptake to a more active and relaxed future...

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  • Posted

    What medications are you on and have you seen an EP rather than a cardiologist. AF can be helped with one of the various types of ablation and newer versions are being tried all the time.

    Have you watched any of the videos by Sanjay Gupta on Youtube or been to his Facebook pages. He covers all aspects of AF and does link many cases to the vagus nerve..  

     

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  • Posted

    God bless you -- don't give up. I'm a lot older than you are and it took me two years and two ablation surgeries to get back to my normal.  Being able to go off the heart meds was a big plus because the negative side affects can be terrible.  Have you talked with you cardio doctor about ablation surgery which can put your afib into remission and allow you to live your life pretty close to normal. If you haven't, then I suggest you do ASAP.  If you have and the doc hasn't come up with any suggestions for you -- find a new doctor!  Good luck!!

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  • Posted

    I recently had a surgical procedure done (not heart) and one of the operating theatre technicians told me she has AFib and takes Bisoprolol and that she knows how the drug can make a person feel.  So, you're not alone. AFib is very common and at times can be scary. You'd be surprised how many people on the planet have AFib but, hey we live to fight another day (as the saying goes)  You're amongst friends here.  Chat to us anytime.

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  • Posted

    You need better medical help. I have had three ablations and they are so successful but don't last forever in my case as it grows over. I have had around 10 cardioversions (I have lost count).  In-between all this I feel great.  It is going to get harder as I am 71 but 10 years of this and I have still had a very happy active life. Have you discussed ablation and have you had cardioversions. Also it is important you are on blood thinners to prevent stroke that would be worse.

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    • Posted

      Hi Julie - wow 10 Cardioversions - I have just been diagnosed Afib (around early Jan) and had my first Cardioversion in early March which failed 4 days later. How many times do they do them and how do they decide if they do an ablation or a Cardioversion? I thought it would be the quick fix but is it true to think I'm in for the long haul? I'm currently on Sotalol and a couple of other heart meds along with warfarin - I'm 47. The meds seem to be making me feel better but I know I am afib all the time. I can sympathise with the original writer of this post for sure but does the motivation side of things improve?

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    • Posted

      Hi yorkshirekiwi (NZ?) when I was in hospital someone there was on their 18th cardioversion. As far as I can tell they really are quite harmless a v small anaesthetic required you may feel tired for a couple of days. However they don't always work and sometimes don't hold the heart in rhythm for long.  Thats when I had an ablation which was fantastic.  I felt awful for a week or two after mind you but then back to full on sport: tennis at a good level, golf ,cycling (50 km) and walking plus a full time energetic job. My ablation grew over after 10 years and so have just had my third I have been told not to have any more so further down the track it will probably be more meds or an AV node operation.  But I have had 16 good years since being first diagnosed certainly no depression or inactivity. I think the medical help has been excellent. My doctors will not let me stay in AF. They say it is bad for the heart however in time I may have to put up with it.  I do have friends who are permanently in AF but it does not stop them playing energetic sport like tennis. I would suggest at age 47 you do not want to be in permanent AF.  I would research ablations  and get a recommended EP.  It is a tricky procedure. btw I am not a medical person I have just had a lot of experience and advice.

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    • Posted

      HI Julie - thank you for taking the time to answer back.  You're right - the kiwi bit is reference to NZ.  I am hoping to line up for a catheter ablation after my next cardiologist visit next week and you are right - I don't want to live the rest of my life in permanent afib - that would be no fun!  I want to play golf on undulating courses without getting puffed and dropping to sleep as soon as I've finished!

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