Had anyone considered giving up?

Thanks LuckyPenny for remembering me. I'm still alive and didn't commit suicide. I'm struggling though, on a second to second basis. Trying to think positive and motivate myself. I went out to walk 3 miles a day and tried doing all the good things for health, but mentally still struggling. Don't feel any joy in life and feel headache and tiredness all the time. Not sure if I can get over this, I hope so. But it's really hard. 

So pleased to hear from you   You will get through this just like all of us on here have.  I was absolutely terrified when I had my first episode of AFib but, as time went on and with the help of the British Heart Foundation and their free magazine Heart Matters ( which is also online ) I slowly started to get my confidence back. It takes time so, be gentle with yourself.  Also, having a hobby may help you feel better. My dad was a fully qualified hypnotherapist for many decades and he strongly believed in these words by Émile Coué  " Every day in every way, I am getting better and better "  repeating that statement certainly helped me look at things differently and in a more positive way.  Best wishes, LuckyPenny

Hi,  I've just read up on Dr John's AFib story and found it very inspiring   So, thank you for putting it on your post.  And agree with you that others should read it too.  Best wishes, LuckyPenny

Have you read drjohnm...? What Meds are taking? I live e eryday with the anxious feeling and pulsating feeling from the afib. I’m not giving up...I’ve been through lots trying to deal with it. The fear lifts its head and then I become afraid of not coping with the things I used to do. However,my rational side of my brain,thankfully kicks in. I read posts on here, occupy myself doing something and I feel a whole lot better. You’re negative feelings are those that all of us have suffered ,but you can find strategies for getting better. Trust me and the others posting here. Don’t forget....read drjohnm...it should help you feel better. 

Thanks! Yes I’ve read Dr John M long ago, mostly of his posts. While it makes me feel a bit better, it doesn’t last long. I’ve read tons of articles and studies about afib since my diagnosis back six months ago. I’ve read everything in the first 20 pages that google brings up about afib. Sometime I feel a bit better but usually only last for a few seconds.  To be honest I still haven’t fully accepted this beast in me. I kept researching in the hope to find something can tell me that afib is curable. But as time goes by, I am losing hope. It’s extremely hard to accept this as I had so many plans with the kids. Now my life changed in one night for onc and ever. I always feel guilty for the kids that their highly energetic daddy now has become a plain old man that can barely move his butt away from bed.  I so miss the old days that I can bring kids to travel, to water park , to hiking, camping, to theme park, etc. now I feel those days are all gone. I don’t even dare to get on a flight to Hawaii that the kids wanted so much before. I did manage to drive from California to Colorado for last Christmas, as I booked a cabin befor I had afib and I didn’t want to upset the kids. But I suffer all day everyday during that vacation and never felt like me anymore. I really hope someone at my similar age can share how he lives with afib and give me some hope. Waking up in desperate everyday is not much different from death. 

I read all this and feel so sad but do you mind if I ask have you had an ablation

Hi Julie, no I haven’t had an ablation. As knowing it’s not a cure but just to improve quality of life, I am not ready for it yet. And I guess it doesn’t help with my depression.

An ablation can indeed be a long term solution to AF.  I know several people who have had them and no more AF. I suggest your depression is caused by your lack of not being able to be active.  I have had three ablations and they are life changing as you can get back to normal living and activity. I assume you have had cardioversions?? They should be done first and in my case usually work.  AF is caused by electrical faults and an ablation blocks the path of the fault.  Over many years it may break through again I am not sure what info you have on these.  I am not a doctor so this is just a layman's take on all this (and lots of experience and reading)  There is an exposure to radiation I believe and perhaps this is worrying you.  My cardiologist also says you can learn to live with AF as the body adjusts over time.  I have a friend permanently in AF who lives a happy active life playing tennis etc.  Is the depression related to the AF?

 

My depression is from afib. Being constantly worrying about when afib could happen and thinking about long term prognosis, I don’t see a way to get out from it for all. So I feel I’m stuck with this crap and because afib is not predictable, I feel anxious about going anywhere. 

During my 2nd episode in ER, they wanted to electric convert me, but after they sedated me I converted by myself just one second before the doc touched the button. I guess even I go through ablation there will be still uncertainty about if and when afib would return, so the fear is still there. I just can’t get the peace of mind anymore.

Hi Julie, I have been over four years out of AF and then I got an awful chest infection which turned to Pneumonia and the GP is convinced it is from that infection in the early stages. I have been in and out of hospital, this time the Bisoprolol as my emergency tablet did not work and made my asthma worse so now I have Angitil which has lowered the 230 bpm I was in so waiting for Cardiologist appointment to come through which is looking like ablation as it has been a month now. I have been so tired and cannot walk far without getting breathless so it feels this time that is really is going to impact on my life. Many say ablation does not seem to help but I suppose it is a mixed success. I am hoping it will go back into normal rhythm on its own but not looking likely.