Happy News For me...and temptation arises

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I went into my mailbox yesterday and there was an envelope from Federal Government.  

I had called my Lawyer last week to ask what is going on with the benefit request that I initiated 2 years ago...my Lawyer said she would get back to me and never did.

So...I open the letter and there is a note that asks me to sign a particular line and the note also says "you were approved for benefits..return ASAP".

Immediately....I wanted to celebrate...Immediately I wanted to drink. I have been drowning my sorrows in alcohol over lost employment and lost family connections for the last 2 years!

Why not celebrate?  My STUPID brain asked me?

Um...because you will die...that is why.  So my BRAIN says..."No you won't, just have a few".  

My logic says...its is NEVER a few....so NO...I'm keeping very busy.  Praising God for my good fortune...and I'm about to stop by a  yard sale near my home.

Hope you all that are trying to stay sober...are doing well.

Hope anyone who is struggling finds some hope today to make a plan to stop.

Life is so much better sober..and I need to remember that (especially right now).

 

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  • Posted

    Wonderful news!!! You made the right decision 😀

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    • Posted

      Well, its going to be a daily decision smile

      And I wish I didn't have the burden of alcohol demons....lol

      And...thank you smile

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    • Posted

      I do take medication for cravings.

      But, pills can't do all the work!  I really don't have cravings for alcohol in particular....I have cravings to be normal and be able to drink....but No...

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    • Posted

      Misssy, have you checked out SMART Recovery and REBT for the BPD problem? 

      Just looking in from the outside, it seems like you might get a scare when you have strong emotions in general. Which would tend to lead to wanting to quash them with drink, which worse than doesn't work....

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    • Posted

      Hi ADEfree!  No I haven't tried SMART recovery I kind of have a grudge against it...but I think I should re-think my reasons for not trying it because it could save my life.

      A friend of mine runs one of the groups...And i was mad at her for a situation about 5 years ago and we haven't spoken since (her choice).  

      So actually she texted me lately and told me that she looks for my picture in the obituary all the time....and we have kind of softened our differences.  

      So thank you for the idea.  Even thou I have been communicating here and there with her..she didn't mention it...and she wouldn't.

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    • Posted

      There are some reviews on the handbook on Amazon and GoodReads, I recall some saying that it was easier to read the handbook then go on the website afterwards for support with the finer points/commiseration/moral support. 
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    • Posted

      Very cool to have a friend that runs one of the groups, btw! That could turn into a real plus!
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    • Posted

      Thank you and I just realized I missed an N/A meeting last night that I really like.

      I like it because: #1 it is Air Conditoned...#2 they have very soft cushioned chairs and #3 they always have food...last time I went they had hot dogs with all the fixings.

      #4 They give away "sober chips" every week and they consider Alcohol to be a drug so they don't mind if you talk about alcohol.

      smile

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    • Posted

      "#4 They give away "sober chips" every week and they consider Alcohol to be a drug so they don't mind if you talk about alcohol."

      Well, it is a drug. That's what I like about TSM, it uses a drug to remove the compulsion exactly reverse of the way that the drug alcohol put the compulsion there. 

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    • Posted

      yes, I have always believed alcohol to be a drug.

      But, N/A meetings around here and AA meetings around here always say in the begining..."keep your discussion limited to way drugs have affected your life"...AA..."keep your discussion limited to the way alcohol has affected your life".

      Now N/A has some statement that makes you feel more comfortable about talking about alcohol....this particular meeting.  They say "this group believes that alcohol is also considered a drug, as well as caffiene and nicotine, feel free to discuss you problems regarding your drug of choice and please limit your sharing to 5 minutes so that everyone that wants to share can share"

      I feel more comfortable at this particular N/A meeting because of their openess.  In other N/A meetings you can talk about alcohol but you get this "elephant" in the room feeling that you are taking up the time of someone who is addicted to a street or prescription medication.

       

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    • Posted

      "you might get a scare when you have strong emotions in general".

      This was very profound to me...and I have been thinking about this statement ever since you posted it.  

      This statement is SO true.  The other day when I got the letter that relieved alot of my anxiety...I was like a rat in a cage...running from corner to corner...not knowing what to do with the "happiness" and "relief"...and drinking popped in and out of my head.

      The sensation I had was "fear" and I kept asking myself WHY...?

      This is GOOD.

      I am and always have been on medications for mental illness...but I don't think there is any pill that can help me.

      Now I am thinking about Dr Phils statement..."You can't change what you don't acknowlege."

      Thank you for helping me acknowlege the fact that I get overwhelmed with both postive and negative emotions.  I actually know I get MORE overwhelmed than the average person who has reactions to these situations...so now I can try and address that the next time it happens..because I now acknowlegde this due to your comment...Thank you.

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    • Posted

      WOW...good idea...smile

      I am doing those word search puzzles and coloring.

      smile

      Thank you h1954.

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    • Posted

      Hey hun - also smile broadly for no reason.  When you smile, within 10 seconds you release feel good chemicals into the body that change your mood.  It is said to do it before a difficult telephone conversation or at an appointment you are going to and nervous.

      On the smile issue - I have just also read that a 30 min fast walk along with a smile on your face, is as powerful as an antidepressant.

      I have been doing this since knocking down my booze and it without a doubt lifts your mood.  Just looks strange when you are on your own lol.

      The dancing and singing is a defo - but sing with a HUGE smile.

      Hugs hun smile smile smile smile smile

      G.

      G.

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