Has anyone been soo down, depressed due to ME/CFS that you have resorted to self harm??

I would not self harm, but i am so down about my situation that I feel as if i cannot go on especially the lack of understanding amongst family and friends. I am in constant pain with my frozen shoulder as well as my M.E. The fatigue is unbearable I have a double whammy and am not getting the support I need from my husband. He just seems oblivious to my situation even though he says he isn't. I f he knows what it is like why does he do the things he does without thinking, like running taps not saying a word not hearing me and not listening, I can't stand being in the car any longer with him but I am going to have to as I can't drive with my shoulder. Had F S now for 3 months. It has stopped me doing everything I enjoy. I have been speaking to a councelor but I really don't think he understands m.E. I don't think anybody does unless they have it themselves. Well if they do get it i.e. any of my friend or family shall i not be sympathetic towards them? I am not sure, I have had 32 years of it now and it has only got worse. No one has understood. I really don't know what they are thinking.

Best of luck

Looking back I did self harm when I was about 13/14 (I got ME/CFS about that age maybe younger.  I remember thumping my other arm so hard I struggled to move it.  I also still do little self hard like continous picking at scabs even when it's hurting me.  My worse is suicidual thoughts and I have lived with them for years.  Now I am getting better help with my ME/CFS I can identify it as the emotional side of my condition.  If I'm thinking those thoughts (which mainly hit at night if I'm struggling to sleep) I know my antidepressants aren't strong enough.  Earlier this year we changed which anitdepressant medicine I was taking and back came those suicidal thoughts.  i was struggling with my emotions and snapping out at the family.  So we increased the medication until those emotions disappeared again.  I know when I'm going through a rough patch because back will come those thoughts.

The antidepressants have meant I've lost the really happy feelings of emotions but I'd rather lose those and not be so miserable and angry that I want to harm myself and be nasty to my family.

I recommend antidepressants for the emotional help.  you don't have to be on them long term.  Personally I think I will need to, because over the 23 years I've had ME/CFS I need them to cope with the anger, sadness and the nagging pain.

I've also attended hypnotherapy, stress councilling and CBT.

Good luck, seek help when you need it before it gets too much xxx

Rose, Sorry Bronwyn and i have also taken to posting our comments via your thread, but see you have helped two people so again even though you are suffering you have made a difference for others and reading through all the comments on here reminds me how important we all are to each other! thank you for having the courage to speak out and give us all the chance too! I think it is worth talking with a sports physiotherapist in your area. Most of those i encounter know about ME and postural problems Athletes of all sorts by their trying too hard nature will come down with ME or CFS and here there is a difference CFS in athletes is casued by over training and is the bodies way of saying stop or else. Wuth CFS becasue of the tiredness postural problems occur i wonder if they can help at least with your shoulder ? sorry i didnt think of this sooner i have a spasmed shoulder because of ME and poor posture when i was working i taught myself to use a mouse left handed which did help but then a non supportive manager finished me off... but i saw a sports massage person who did make a big difference - at least that stopped the intense migraines...  well reduced them to once a month or six weeks... now due to other meds rare thank goodness... Try calling and discussing with one but make sure ists a qualifed sport physio not just a massage there is a difference. 

Hi Rose..Know where you're coming from. I keep asking my husband to smother me when I am asleep, or shoot me ;or even push me off a cliff. He won't, as he says he does'nt fancy prison food..

Hi...if any sceptic/doctor is reading this, then I swear this is true :

My name is Glenn Finlay; I'm 6 foot 4 and 222lbs,educated as an accountant,university educated from a working class background. In 2008, aged 32 I began having flu-like symptoms every day..where I couldn't get a breath. From being 5 times a week at a gym to spending 18 months having a virus,joint pain, headaches,weakness 24hours a day.

After 18 months...I managed to breathe again to a walking pace but still cannot do more than 90 seconds excercise without choking for breadth. 24hours a day,I feel weak all over my body,constant headaches, struggle to concentrate on the simplest of things, pain all over my joints with my body just wanting to rest, rest and rest which does no good.

To sum this illness up...I feel like I have a bag of weak dust running constantly through my bloodstream yet I look great. Inside, I've thought about killing myself because 24hours a dayI don't get a break from this virus running inside my bloodstream. No-body can see it,no-body can diagnose it but believe me THIS ILLNESS is horrific. Torture.

To repeat, I've had this 8 years and still relentless 24hours a day. If having a cold is 10 per cent and having flu is 90 per cent...I feel like 45 per cent 24hours a day, 52 weeks a year,on and on. God bless.