headache

Hi Skitzy Hope you headache has dissapeared.

Ive beeen a little more upbeat than usual. Actually, finding things enertaining and cant help but seem to laugh at things that probably really arent funny.

Okay I have 3 complaints. !) I cant feel 3 of my toes. 2)I only have had 4 hours sleep, ( got up smiling though) and 3) Wah! Im scared to go on antabuse. but needs must. oh and 4) sorry for the added addition-but am I ever going to be able to get out this situation :?

Other than that I am absolutely fine!!!

Theres ( whoops ) another complaint.As soon as I turn my alarm off in the mornings i want to sleep. If I leave it on-I get uptight and srgh!

What is chloripimine? Whats it for?

Hope you are getting better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! rest up and keep in touch.

Take Care

hi bad girl clommipramine is a drug to help- obssevive thoughts and irrational behaviour i have ocd and i cant stop cleaning

Hi Skitzy-good to hear from you.

I didnt reallise you had OcD- i think we all get it a little- but then theres a point where it can take over your life! Does chloripimine help?

I dont know whats up with me-nothing medically-other than I cant stop sleeping-which is a bit odd for me. Im usually up night after night , but now its hmm, maybe catch up time after years of being wired. But i seem to be loosing my ambitions. Im not motivated to do anything. Maybe its the time of the month. Is it a full moon or something?

Do you think your OCd comes from the fact you were in an abusive relationship in the past? or do you think its from something else. My mum is a little bit on this spectrum. towels cant just smell nice they have to be really fluffy and smell really strongly of washing powder. The kitchen is immaculate, and she has this on just amazing gobsmacking gorgeous bedroom, thats just nice to go and sit in. I wish I could be more like her sometimes, but its almost like a rebellion. it takes over ....and becomes topics for discussion and it gets to me sometimes because I want to scream and make her see this situation-but then im grown up and my mum admits to beig like this due to her having lost her mum in her childhood-so I really do understand it. Because of my mum I now only use arieal washing powder-was into the lavender blold gel for a while but it just wasnt the same. When my mum visits im luike a hoover on speed. but then shell do something-that I wouldnt be allowed to do in her house , eg ) drops biscuit wrappers or something and just leaves it lying and I scream gggggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! I know she does this to wind me up though-or just checking if Im still alive ( maybe). Then theres that other insane thing she does -buying my ex partner wine as it was his birthday. Mum had hid this from me and I found out lasy night. I felt upset A) That she didnt trust me...but more , why be nice to him after all this grief? I just dont get that.Personally, if my daughter was being treated the way he had treated me the only birthday pressie he would have got would have been itching powder in his bed sheets( ha ha!)...and...(ok Ill save the b***chy coments for my head, and the inside of it alone before I get called an total mooooooooooooooo!

Hope your all right today.

hiya mate good to hear from you this ocd thing stems from my past abusive 1st husband why do you think your mum suffers from it or is it just being houseproud i wish thats all it is with me if anyone comes in my house i feel like its contaminated so i have to go through the whole procedure again stupid init the clomipranine hasnt really had much effect on me i dont know what it is its as i am fighting all the drugs in my system hope you are ok take care

Hey Skitzy-good to hear from you too. My mum is more obbsessive compulsive personlaity disorder- she has a few reasons for being this way-but not unlike you and even I remeber it -when she slit from my dad-shed snap hoover-snap at us- do the dishes clanking them as loud as possible shed clean clean and clean. Shes not like this now-but hse is still very very anall( if you get me?). She thinks shes like this because her mum died. i thnk its another way of coping with upset in your life-My mum was probably just trying to clean him out :lol: Whilst fainting and begging him back :twisted: :roll:

Mood wise -im so pmtd-like psycpathic with it!!

Oh then I found that the post office was shut-so had to find the other one which took me most theday-and I didnt have enough clothes on- and had to come back and go to bed as I doulnd get warm...thats to say its the longest walk ive had since i started to have panic attacks and I didnt really know where I was oing or how I was going to get back---must admit-I didnt smeel nice when I got home.

Avoiding everyone like ive the plague-Im so psychotic at the moment . i thought this pill was supposed to help calm that down. I think theres definately somesort of hormonal problem going on. I should just drink beer-that might sort it :shock:

Now Im boiling and im away to stick my head in the freezer!

there must be somesort of opposite to OCD-Im sure im that-im going to google it! ThoughI must admit, im not sure about all this name calling...its a bit like calling a skiny person an anorexic and a well rounded person a fat cow- do you agree?

This is weird!!! Im feeling ok- was feeling quite relaxed-wasnt thinking about anything much ( i dont think) and then all of a sudden I couldnt breathe( wait though- I had been sucking a looly pop as I have a really dry mouth ) and felt as though I couldntbreathe-started silly breathing thing then though I was fgoing to choke on my tongue...I was on a rant about how Im going to have to get another job to pay debts etc, But ex want even tell me what shifts hes doing-so it makes it impossible . i was thinking itd be a good idea as A) Id be busy during the night, and itd be different from being stuck at home and responsible all the time. B0 Id be ???/safer. or not -doesnt really matter. C) Id be making money -which would solve a lot of my problems. But no no.... And while im on a rant about his behaviour....we were given a really lovely new kitchen at last year...everytime he cooks its like a bucket-( I know this is a manthing-but theres just no respect-obviously)

I dont know . Honestly, If i get out-hopefully ill be over the trauma-hmm, not so sure. hes so sneeakkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!I hate sneakee people -they remind me of that stalker!!!

I hate the smell of bleach....hospital disinfectant, and burst drains...they make me gag and remind me of visiting my grandad everyday for over a year...to walking alone and being followed watched .....The lines on the satirs in that uni remind me of all of it----they wobble as I try to go down the sts, even the hand rail makes me think of old friends. and nothing ever that bad really evr has happened to me- I just cant handle anything anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay I can handle eating ice cream.

I can handle going to the hairdressedrs -not!!!!!!

The dentists-not very well really anxious!!!!!!!!!

I love shopping. been trying to foogle for a job as a mystery shopper!

Hmm, must go skitzy-hope you are good????

Hmm-took evening primrose oil to help knee pain and the rest-hoping it may calm me down-but I just feel light headed.

God! I hate this. I nevr evr thought id be a forum basher-but uve become one!

I was planning to see my Gp tomorrow. My Gp is a good Gp and where credit deserves it he does. however, im toubled. because deep down I dont really know what he thinks, because I know he deals with serious issues day in and day out-because its the fine line between life and death.

I dont want to sit another day and say I feel this or fel that. really its pointless and what i feel will never ever change anything. Basics are simple. Im not , Im simply not simple, though I come acros as being that way.Im not! Or maybe I am or maybe I wish it was simplistic-I just dont know.

Okay, anyway , im feeling harassed. Im suppsed to have taken antabuse for over a week now-i stare at the bottle as a reminder that I have a drink problem , but I cannot take a med that caused my fathers family so much grief. im terrified of it. Its my body, my mind-ill fight the urges to drink -though they come and go, but my probem truthfully is more related to eating, and im scared if i stop drinking I want have the calories to survive. Your body sotres fats, so mine probably store alcohol. i used to be so much worse but coped remarkably-im scared of the reward, the lacjk of numbness and what I might do. Over this last week, ive grown a massive belli, really umpy boobs, lumps that dont go away bu tthat get bigger before my period is due( doh) Im female.

Before I had children , i remeber going slightly mental one weeken-wed been relaxing and i just felt fury and hared-but nothing explained it....but it was more negative voices telling me what a failure I was and so n and it went on for ages-then when i got my period I chilled down and yes, I experienced it later, but never took it to a doctor for fear of what it might be. After having children that seemed to calm, but I stll ( to me seem a little pathological) I could really do some damage on this cycle- is that normal?

Hi Skitzy-how are you? Is the chloraimprine helping you?

Ive been a bit down lately. Im thinking about givning in to it all. I dont want to wirry you or anyone else here. They are not in my situation -which is a total horible mess-also they are not me, Im fed up being apart of everyones pecking order. Skitzy-so sorry having trouble with the old keyboard and typoos. My life is a mess 0 and I ove my children dearly- but I cant even handle how they are used as a power tool to get at me-they know it too.

I went to see my gp the other day and described howw I felt really psychotic, how i felt so angry I wanted to do anyone some damage. Iwas embarassed at first-but it was okay even though hes male he understood-I also had to go for something else which I dont think is too serious. Non the less, he didnt give me anything for it-and Im scared of it all hapening again. Ive been crying tosday . I wonder if my cryong is just a learned habit from being a baby-its never ever got me anywhere anyhow-it only ever seems to get people around me annoyed-people just assume Im attention seeker. But you know, if anyone really took the time to get to know me-when I laugh-I laugh hard and I am reallly really good fun. When I laugh though its pure genuine-yes Ive too a nervous laugh thing going on-but when I laugh properly , it a proper laugh-it comes friom the heart-does anyone know what I am trying to say.

Anyway, I dont mean to upset my GP or anyone else ...but I dont get this coment.....and its been said to me enough to just never go back to a gp surgery ever agaon....its this...\"I think you know the way\" Right either a) taking the piss and testing my dyspraxic situation, or B) \"You come here too often\". i find it a strange thing- and pff-maybe I have it in my records( I reckon I do now) byt I reckon they all think I am a malingering imposture-pfff! Know idea-or do they and is this just a joke and I am being too sensitive. id never endeavour on saying anything like it if I make it to be ever a health psychologst ( which is my dream) I just wouldnt, a worr is a orry a concern -which id belittled enough will get dismissed.. I mean If i went back in 3 years time and said\"look, blah blah ...and Ive ignored it for more thant balh blha blha a timeId get a lecture on how I dont look after myself....I know that there areworse thanme and so no, but really I dont know where i am going_ inkow my dream but to get there need lots of work and debt included. Its got me down. its allright for a doctor to say , balh blah blah Ive enevr been good enough to be a doctor nor could I spend a day listening to problems. id have the biggest migraine at the end of each one worrying if I dealt with so and so okay. I kow Im oversensitive and I know maybe I take things very personally but hmm-I just feel its another peek and ther is another authoritative thing going on. Ieven wonder if my phone has been spammed and my smoke alrms have hidden camers-but hey apparently im normal///well i guess

Dear Bad Girl, gosh! ive read all you have typed on here from youre computer!!!...I think you need alot of help!...I think you are an alcholic, nothing wrong with that, as i think i could be too. I think you write down on here when you have had a drink, i just think that you should scream at another site...All of us on here are after help with our problems, we seek help for depression and loneliness etc. You need more help with youre drinkink and paranoia!!!..Please get help, Bad Girl, im here for you but cant undersatand the messages on here, very disturbing honey!!! Hope you get sorted soonxxx

hi ya badgirl you sound really down thougt id got the world on my shoulders but you nseem worse if you want to talk to me privatly send me an email then maybe we can help eachother///////////////////

Hey Skitzy-Im okay...had a better day today...as it was sunny. Id probably be happier living in a really warm country-then who wouldnt.

Im trying to ignore my life-it is a mess!

Im sorry I cant email you-I am not allowed to pm peeps here!

How are you feeling? I just wish I could be in this mood all the time-im a bitm ore level than usual-or have been in the past 3 years. Gosh its nearly been 3 years since I lost the plot-and im still struggling

Ive made my situation worse and now think I should move to Glasgow with the girls. i might have a better chance of getting an ok houes-or not.

Hope you and your family are ok, take care

Hi Skitzy-are you any good at writing?

Ive got a 3000 word essay due in, a 50000 million billion essay tod , a repoty to do....but all ive done is melt into ice cream. i feel masive!

I went to my gp the other day as i have something concerning me about my body-he referred me and said though that it may not be anything, but I cant get it out my head. Im trying not to worry and I said I wouldnt obsess over it ( all in my head) but its there and Im worried!

I also have trid to get my funding sorted out for my course, and as I am now a student agina at my grand age( if eel so old working withthe 20ish peeps-that gets me down!)..Im going to have to get another job!But I want it to be something to do with my studies. Im just worried it willl be too much for me right now!..Plus ive decided to top up my marks so that I can do a phd after...that will make me early 40s before im qualified..(thats bad -eh!?) say i start a proper career by the time I am 43 ( If I live that long) I ll have a rubbish pension! If I even live that long-ive ever thought id live this long so maybe its a maybe.thats why I get annoyed with people my age mastering their pensions-I mean really -is that not looking a little bit far in advance?

I only found this out recently but when you die your debt gets scrubbed with your little box-how cool is that? Its such a poor mans way out-dont you think? hey, a working class hero is something to be!

Hi Skitzy-how are you?

Ive been a bit angry lately and just lost the plot!! Im really worried!

hi badgirl how are you im not doing too bad docs have just increased my meds to 150mgs clomipramine i feel a bit crap at the mo and i still want to drink but it aint no good all i do is start on my hubby and my grandchild at the minute i will drink anything this drinking bout started at xmas sorry to do your head in but it does make you feel better talking to a computer how f///////////ing mad is that