Health Anxiety is causing my Depression
Posted , 4 users are following.
This is the story of my recently developed health anxiety, and I am posting in hopes that others can relate or give me any advice. I December of last year (2020) I was having chest pains and shortness of breath that were worrying me. I went to the ER the day after my 19th birthday thinking that I was having a heart attack. I had no Idea what else it could be, and googling my symptoms only made things worse. After an EKG came back clear (although the hospital staff was very rude and refused to do any bloodwork while I was there) I was somewhat reassured but still worried. The next month, January 2021, I returned to campus from winter break. Now, keep in mind that Before break I had spent an entire semester on campus and was completely fine, no chest pain or anxiety whatsoever. As soon as my mother left to leave and fly home I began having panic attacks. I had at least one panic attack almost every day for a week until we decided it would be best for me to move off campus for the remainder of the year.
The transition of moving to all online classes and the constant conflict between staying or going home was very stressful, but in the end I made the right decision because my mental state only ended up getting worse. I was still having the chest pains through all of this so I went to the cardiologist for a full cardio workup, and everything came back completely fine. It was at this point that we were starting to believe that the cause of my symptoms was anxiety. From here on out I began noticing different new symptoms, as well as periods where my mental state plummeted for weeks and I would have frequent panic attacks almost every day. I was mentally convincing myself that there was no way I could be feeling so terrible without something being wrong physically. This lead to me believing I was constantly about to have a stroke and later on a brain tumor. I am still suffering with both of these ideas, as I have had panic attacks about them twice within the past 5 days.
Overall what's worrying me is just a general off feeling. I am currently going to therapy and have been informed that some of my symptoms are actually me dissociating. But I have been having headaches and am constantly worrying that the left side of my body is less coordinated than the right. This has led to me constantly moving or wiggling my left arm or leg and constantly checking in the mirror that I can move both sides of my face.
The thought that is constantly causing me worry is how sudden all of this was. Before December I have never had severe anxiety issues and was rarely worried about my health or having a terminal illness, but it was like a switch was flipped in less than a week. This has been extremely worrying for me because it is the driving thought behind the fear that I have a brain tumor. Dr Google lists that anxiety and depression can be symptoms of such a tumor, but provides no other clarification. So naturally, my brain has pinned my sudden onset health anxiety on the idea that I might have Brain cancer.
I am desperately in need of some tips or reassurance because all of these negative feelings have really put my life on hold. I am going into my sophomore year of college and I have not had a single in-person class. I have tons of free time, yet I never go anywhere because I'm constantly afraid that I will have a medical emergency in public and not be able to get to a hospital in time. My mom says I should get back to work, but im so nervous about having a bad day while at work that I have not yet gone back. At this point I'm not even completely sure I will be able to return to campus in august.
1 like, 9 replies
parkerjames345 michela28390
Edited
Hey michela i can feel you
i think I can help you recovering
i have spent a lot of my time researching about anxiety disorders
I also thought that i have severe lung cancer or copd although a I never smoked and I'm just 23
so i know a lot about health anxiety
michela28390 parkerjames345
Posted
Any advice you could give me on managing the anxiety and intrusive thoughts? It would be very much appreciate. Also, I'm sorry to hear you are going through the same thing.
parkerjames345 michela28390
Posted
Hi again michela
You are going to be okay just remember this.
It's not brain tumor nor any other lung problem. It's gonna be lifetime.
Just remember it's gonna end soon
I'm assuming lockdown and covid has increased anxiety depression to other level.
I was never a hypochondriac but due to this anxiety and sudden shortness of breath I became one.
For me it started last year may when I felt slight fever and sore throat for two days and after that little dyspnea.
after 2-3 days suddenly my sob became worse and there was burning sensation in my whole body chest hurts a little
I got multiple tests including covid x ray egc blood urine all came normal
only my rbc and platelates were down.
After good diet all were normal but my sob persisted.
I was mentally exhausted thinking this will lost forever
I started to calm myself and talk to myself more times like it is nothing. if all tests are normal how come I have any problem
I talked to friends and spend some quality time with family.
The more busy I was the less sob
Also doc gave me some Anti anxiety pills and antaacids.those had little to no affect on my sob problem
Ill suggest you to take some normal anxiety pills and start doing breathing exercises and walking/running in morning
parkerjames345
Posted
Also there is a person Shaan Kassam on YouTube. Just watch his videos about anxiety sob
He experienced same as we are
After seeing his videos and doing some relaxation techniques half of your sob will gone. Just trust me and start doing morning Exercises like Anulom Vilom
meghan49196 michela28390
Edited
hi, im sorry to hear your going through all this and i want you to know you are not alone! I am going through the exact same thing. Mine also came on suddenly in december, christmas eve actually was when i started feeling unwell! I too am totally convinced i have a brain tumour and i am terrified. I am waiting to get bloods done for b12 then my doctor is sending me on to a neurologist. I have crazy symptoms, some now keeping me awake through the night!! I knwo exactly how you feel and i hope you find a way of dealing with this. CBD oil really helped me, made me a bit more relaxed.
michela28390 meghan49196
Edited
Hello! it is great to know that I am not alone. I was also thinking of going to see a neurologist soon to put my mind at ease. I have tried CBD supplements and water soluble oils in the past, but I think I get a weird placebo where taking any sort of anxiety supplements makes my symptoms way worse or stand out more. I hope all goes well for you in the future
devin1222 michela28390
Posted
Hey there!
Literally going through the same exact thing. Mine started on New Year's of this year (2021) and I have not felt normal since. I relate so much with you about never experiencing such severe anxiety symptoms before. I'm 21 and have dealt with a bit of anxiety since high school (mostly social anxiety) but these physical symptoms seriously make me question every day if I am okay. I just do not feel well and I cannot wrap my head around the fact that anxiety is the root cause of these symptoms. I almost wish someone would tell me something is physically wrong with me. I am constantly googling my symptoms and diagnose myself with at least three different types of conditions every day. It's brutal.
I used to be a relatively social person. I'd always say yes when my friends asked me to hang out and never had any worries about it. These last few months (since January) I have only done maybe a few social things when I've felt decent. I have this constant fear (same as you) that if I go out and do something, something terrible will happen to me and I won't know what to do. I feel so exhausted even though I literally sit at home and do nothing. I just feel like I can't do anything anymore and every time I feel something off about myself, I freak out and google the heck out of it. I've isolated myself and have basically shut myself out of the outside world. It's so frustrating to feel this way and even more frustrating when doctor's tell you nothing is wrong. I'm starting therapy this week which I've never done before so maybe it'll help but who the heck knows lmao. But you're definitely not alone in this and it honestly gave me a bit of relief reading your post. I hope we can figure this out and I wish you nothing but the best for you!
michela28390 devin1222
Posted
Hi,
I think you are the first person to describe EXACTLY what im going through. I am sorry you are also experiencing this, but I can tell you that things get better. After taking it day by day for a couple months now, I've started to improve. I went back to work, so I think that is serving as a distraction. And honestly at this point, I take it hour by hour, because I dont want one event or symptom early in the day to ruin my mood for the rest of it. I do still feel like something is off alot of the time, but I no longer think I am focusing on my health as much. There are moments where I do think I still need to be going to the doctors (I'm STILL trying to get a neurologist appointment), but I've come to terms with the fact that there is nothing immediately that I could do that would ease my mind completely, there is no quick fix. I think going to therapy will help you alot and I really hope you see some improvement from it. I check this post every now and again so feel free to respond and chat here.
devin1222 michela28390
Posted
I'm so glad to hear that you've found some relief for a bit. My first therapy session is tomorrow so I'm hoping it gives me some sort of relief and helps me take my mind off of things. But yes, I'm still working on coming to terms that there is no quick fix, as you say, which is SO true. It's going to take time and I just need to keep telling myself that. If there was something physically and medically wrong with me, I would know for sure and my body would be giving me so many other indicators. Anyway, I hope you're doing well with work and life in general, and thanks for a response. Definitely feels nice to communicate with someone who has been feeling the same things.