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Health Anxiety! Obsessed with cancer!

Posted , 50 users are following.

stephanie03505
stephanie03505

About a year or so ago i found a pea size lump on my neck i was bored at work at decided to google what this could be! Lo and behold all websites sent me to the dreaded C word mainly Lymphoma, I was driving myself crazy poking at it constantly feeling if it had changed shape or grew in size until i finally decided to go to the Docs! My GP practically laughed at me and stated the node was just swollen and would go away over time and assured me he did not suspect cancer, The node has never gone down nor grew or changed shape/size and now i have practically become obsessed with the fact i have cancer and i am being fobbed off. Any ache or pain i suspect is another symptom i am constantly poking around my body and if i find any slight lump/bump i am at the GPs demanding scans etc part of me feels like i am going mental but another part of me thinks this is my gut feeling and i have got cancer! I have basically runined the last year of my life with the constant worry panic and stress but the thoughts just dont seem to be going away. My family are very supportive but i feel like they are losing there patience with me as each week i have a new "Symptom" i have discussed my anxiety with my doctor but i dont feel like they understand the extent of it. I just wish i could move on with my life! I am 30 yrs old 2 years ago happy and outgoing now a shell of my former self! Anyone in the same boat or anyone with advise i would love to hear your thoughts on this.

7 likes, 70 replies

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  • stephanie03505
    stephanie03505

    Posted

    I forget to mention i have been having a pain under my left rib recently so i went to a walk in centre the doctor there said he felt a lump where the pain was but this could be another node panicked i went to A and E and the doctor there said he could not feel anything at all so confused!!
  • lanabananakins
    lanabananakins stephanie03505

    Posted

    Exact same boat! I thought I had breast cancer skin cancer brain tumor and everything! Doctor assured me I'm fine. I'm literally obsessed with cancer because my anxiety all started when my aunt passed away with cancer from my dads side. And now my grandpa from my moms side has cancer so yup now I think I have cancer! I have horrible health élan curry and always look up my symptoms. Don't do it!!!!! It makes things worse. Might sound weird but those lymph nodes do get swollen, especially with stress. If you've had mood work done and it's normal, then no you don't have cancer. Cancer is an overproduction of cells, something would definitely be wrong in blood results. You're okay! Trust me the only way you'll get better is to slowly stop looking up your symptoms. I started yesterday and I'm feeling a lot better
    • stephanie03505
      stephanie03505 lanabananakins

      Posted

      Thanks for your reply! Yes i belive my anxiety has stemmed from loosing my stepdad to cancer he was misdiagnosed with pulled muscles for years so i feel i need to be extra cautious! I keep wondering if these "symptoms" are all in my head but they seem ever so real! I have tried to put myself on a google ban in the past but it proves quite difficult, Hope things get easier for you also glad there are ppl to talk to in the same boat!
  • natashaloo
    natashaloo stephanie03505

    Posted

    I am actually the same as you . I had a lump feeling in the throat after I had my baby but unfortunately he was born with his Angel wings. I assumed I had cancer. That feelings gone now . But I have tingling when I touch my lip and chin area and think it's ms or tumor x doctors say anxiety
    • stephanie03505
      stephanie03505 natashaloo

      Posted

      Im so sorry to hear about your baby i imagine the trauma of such an event will trigger all kinds of feelings/emotions. I too experience numbing/tingling in my lips and also pins and needles alot in my hands and feet from what i have read aniexty can cause so many strange feelings/symptoms its persuading ourselves thats all it is thats proving difficult!
    • natashaloo
      natashaloo stephanie03505

      Posted

      I wish there was a cure for us all . Living with anxiety is horrible . All mine started after losing my baby boy . My doctors say I'm trying to find a illness that I can blame it on why I lost him. I've had blood tests , camera up my nose down to my throat. Doctors told me to stop googling my sypymtons as I'm fine but I'm making my self worse and bringing out pains and aches that ain't there . ( Can't see that my self ) the tingling is driving me insane. The slightest touch sends tingling and prickly feeling into my lip area . I'm convinced it's cancer. Everyone says I'm mentally unstable. But it's only been 5 months since I gave birth to my Angel and living with grief , anxiety , depression is tough. I hope we all get better and overcome our fears xxx
    • stephanie03505
      stephanie03505 natashaloo

      Posted

      Mentally unstable is not the nicest thing to be called and if im feeling the way i am without experiencing loss like yours then i suppose that makes me more mental ha. I have also been told my symptoms are made up in a sense but once i have read a symptom its like its drilled into my brain and i am so fearful of feeling it! I hope ur pain gets easier xx
    • natashaloo
      natashaloo stephanie03505

      Posted

      Thankyou hun x yeah I Google everything on a daily basis .the first thing that pops up is cancer . I constantly looking for lumps , looking in my mouth for sores , redness something that's not right then freak out to the receptionist on the phone to get me seen at the doctors / dentist . It's easy for people to say your ok it's just health anxiety . But they don't have to wake up everyday with a fear in the Pitt of your stomach, last thing you think of before u sleep. Not enjoying life like we use too . Your mind is like a ticking time bomb. All we get is here is some tablets , we'll up the dose in a few weeks . But all we need is a full body check up / full body scans/full blood count/ someone to talk to that won't judge / maybe a cuddle when we are up set !
  • louise_emilie
    louise_emilie stephanie03505

    Posted

    Can totally relate to what you say. I could have written it!!! I am exactly the same. My worries are really only ever about cancer and it is so frustrating. I am on meds but e even then the anxiety still creeps up. It's such a waste but none of us can stop it - it's like a twisted addiction.
    • stephanie03505
      stephanie03505 louise_emilie

      Posted

      Sorry to hear you are going through the same its hard to explain to people who dont "get it" isnt it?You described it as an addiction it is completely that!! Its like searching for answers but then at the same time you are scared of the outcome however you cannot stop yourself!!
  • louise_emilie
    louise_emilie stephanie03505

    Posted

    Yes it is an addiction. I don't really understand why I google. I think it's because I'm hoping it will reassure me but it never does so why continue to do it? That's an addiction. Soul destroying....
    • natashaloo
      natashaloo louise_emilie

      Posted

      So true Louise . My doctor gives me a good telling off . My boyfriends threatens me that his going to take my phone away and my iPad . He'll just buy an old style phone that doesn't have internet.
    • louise_emilie
      louise_emilie natashaloo

      Posted

      That's exactly what my boyfriend says to me and if I'm in a different room from him he'll check what I'm up to!!! Sad really - we are like children!
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