Health Anxiety! Obsessed with cancer!

Edited , 50 users are following.

About a year or so ago i found a pea size lump on my neck i was bored at work at decided to google what this could be! Lo and behold all websites sent me to the dreaded C word mainly Lymphoma, I was driving myself crazy poking at it constantly feeling if it had changed shape or grew in size until i finally decided to go to the Docs! My GP practically laughed at me and stated the node was just swollen and would go away over time and assured me he did not suspect cancer, The node has never gone down nor grew or changed shape/size and now i have practically become obsessed with the fact i have cancer and i am being fobbed off. Any ache or pain i suspect is another symptom i am constantly poking around my body and if i find any slight lump/bump i am at the GPs demanding scans etc part of me feels like i am going mental but another part of me thinks this is my gut feeling and i have got cancer! I have basically runined the last year of my life with the constant worry panic and stress but the thoughts just dont seem to be going away. My family are very supportive but i feel like they are losing there patience with me as each week i have a new "Symptom" i have discussed my anxiety with my doctor but i dont feel like they understand the extent of it. I just wish i could move on with my life! I am 30 yrs old 2 years ago happy and outgoing now a shell of my former self! Anyone in the same boat or anyone with advise i would love to hear your thoughts on this.

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  • Posted

    For the past 2 years ive been goin thru da worst health anxiety. Im also obsessed with the thought that i have cancer and the doctors wont catch it until its too late. Ever since i was about 19 (im 25 now) ive had a very itchy mole... never got it checked by dermatologist... but hav asked doctors... seem normal. But i was never satisfied. Not until 2 years ago i found out a close family friend was dying of cancer. It brought on massive anxiety...thinking i had the same fate. The mole got itchier... ill have random body pains, a headache that lasted 3 months, my skin would mottle, and google was my go to. Big mistake i would poke around my whole body.. feel lumps. At dat time i wuld go to the er atleast 3 times a month.. plus weekly visits to the clinic. Evrything always seemed fine. And the craziest thing is dat anywhere i went there was something related to skin cancer or cancer itself. It culd b a pamphlet or magazine just Randomly layin there. Or someone talking about it as i passed by. I was going mental. I culd not sleep.. wuld wake up middle of the night cry myself to sleep. Ended up goin to dermatologist.. evrything fine. So i talked myself out of it. Started going to the gym. Felt great. And lil by lil started getting my life together. Not till recently... ive been feeling horrible... my thoughts are back and worst. if it isnt breast cancer its colon..if not its another type. Im back to worrying. Its debilitating. Feel like my life have stopped... my life is a constant worry about my health. I have two kids and i want to see them grow .. raise dem. Its to the point where i think counceling might be beneficial. I was recently diagnosed with ibs.. but not satisfied with that. You already know what i think. I hate living like dis... i dont enjoy my life like i used to. Sorry your going thru this... its horrible!
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  • Posted

    I was just like all of you lot,I fretted about every illness under the sun, but mostly MND,Parkinsons and MS (cancer did enter my mind at times). I couldn't trust myself with google either so I got shut of my computer,I'm now anxiety free,and have been for 11 years. You can guarantee if there's an illness you're terrified of,then someone famous will get or die from that disease. Everytime I turned on the TV either Michael J Fox or Richard Prior would be on. I remember feeling great and decided to go the match,they were only collecting for Motor Neurone Disease out side the ground,ruined my week.

    I've posted this loads of times and I'm sorry to all who have read it.

    A Dr sat me down and said a mouse and an elephant are both mammals,both have 2 ears,2 eyes, 4 legs and a nose,but they're nothing alike. Just because you've got one symptom from a disease doesn't mean you have that illness. I had the trots for months,I was convinced I had bowel cancer,the more I worried the worse I got. Once the Dr convinced me it was all in my head,my nerves settled and the diarrhea stopped (sorry to anyone eating their tea).Anxiety is amazing at tricking your body,apart from the loss of a limb,there's no symptom that I wouldn't associate with the ghastly illness.

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    • Posted

      Hi there sorry to hear about all of your anxiety I would just like some advice please I'm at the end of my tether with my partner for the past two and a half years now he's convinced himself he's dying of cancer he repeatedly goes to docters surgery he's had cameras up and down inside and out Mri ct scans and there all coming back normal he's losing weight and keeps checking he's body for lumps he feels weak and can't eat he's legs have gone really thin and they hurt he keeps saying he's being ate away by cancer it's consuming my life aswell as he's I don't know what to do he keeps saying the docters are missing something I know my body he gets aches and pains all over but at the moment he's focusing on he's legs more than anything has anyone had weight loss from anxiety too and painful legs I want to help but I just don't know how we're gonna end up breaking up through this

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    • Posted

      Anexity will cut your appetite,and if you can't listen to a doctor then who can you listen to,and also X-ray colonoscopy Mri scans don't lie it can't and if there was something there they would of picked it up same with blood work,if your blood shows adnormatiy then the doctor will react immediately,see I was like your husband until I saw someone with cancer,pale skin yellow eyes coughing up blood,constantly going to the toilet,looked like death,your partner needs help and untill he gets some unfortunately will never leave his brain but I'm here to talk

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    • Posted

      I totally agree with you charliee94 it's very true if you can't listen to the docter then who but he cannot believe that he's symptoms etc that he's getting are from anxiety he doesn't believe that your brain can make you have phisicalll symptoms he's had CBT councilling that didn't help it's just ridiculous it's hard for me to sympathise because I have very real medical problems as in I've had a heart attack and I've got COPD and esophagus problems and I try and enjoy life every day i just don't know what more any one can do to help him if anyone's got any good tips on overcoming this please can u let me know

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    • Posted

      Hi Clare how's you Fellor doing? Is he eating? At my worst I hardly ate a thing. I lost so much weight in the weeks I was off work, I nearly burst out crying when people mentioned how much weight I'd lost. The thing is, the anxiety feelings in my stomach were far worse than any hunger pain I'd normally experience if I hadn't eaten. The worst thing to do is put a large meal in front of your partner, it will put him off the whole meal. He'll feel a small meal is more achievable.

      I don't remember leaving that post, I stumbled upon it whilst googling Anxiety and Cancer. I thought I was over my health anxiety, until I felt a slight discomfort under my right rib just over a month ago. Whilst I'm nothing like what I used to be, I'm still prone to anxiety. I've never smoked,don't drink and I'm average weight, I had one symptom of liver cancer, yet I presumed the worsted, even tho there are loads of other mild ailments it could have been. Ever since I googled my symptoms I've started to get back ache,indigestion and bloating. I know it's psychosomatic because it goes if I'm preoccupied.

      You need to be careful Clare because anxiety can be contagious, my partner started suffering similar symptoms as me, and I'm sure it was my fault.

       

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  • Posted

    Same thing it's been 3 Months I hadn't anxiety attacks for a week and I ended up in the hospital emergency room for 3 times on s I thought I had upendix pain turned out it was a virus nothing more blood tests and every thing is normal no sign of problem but out of no where I get abdominal pain and I get afraid reall you afraid that this is it I am dead I have that C word every now and then I hear people talk about the C word and I don't know why I keep telling my self I have C word too Ibsen to doctors a lot they said over 3 time we told you it's just anxiety nothing more nothing serious but through out the day it kills my motivation my mood I don't feel happy all ways think I have very less time to live all ways searching online what is Cancer what causes it and etc

    I am 19 years old and my life officially has been ruined

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  • Posted

    Hi Stephanie03505.  I am glad I am not the only one.  I really started thinking there is something big wrong with my head.  I am so convinced I have cancer that I even tell people I have cancer when I had a few drinks.  I know this is wrong but I cannot help it.  I think it is my sub concious that let this out when I have a couple of drinks.  I am convinced I have inflamatory breast cancer in my right breast.  My right breast have been paining in one spot for 2 months now.  I had test and everything done and it shows nothing but I cannot think that I can feel this ill all the time if everything is ok.  I am constantly on google and I am constantly thinking about this.  I think what makes it worst is that I am a single mommy of a 16 year old girl who needs her mother and I am so scared I will let her down.  I have also gone from a bubbly woman to a shell of my former self.  I don't know which way to go anymore.  Am I loosing my mind?  Is the pain in my breast just in my head?  I also wish that doctors can take us more seriously and consider that we may have a problem (even if it then ends up to be mental) at least we can get some help.  I recently told my sister at a party where I had a couple of drinks (It does not take much) that I have 6 months to live.  OMW.  I am so embarresed as it feels like I am starting to lie to people and they think that I am looking for attention.

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  • Posted

    As others have stated, I also feel I could have written this. Mine started with what felt like a swollen lymph node in my armpit and a low grade fever that would come and go. My doctor did a full blood panel and said I was fine, and that my anxiety may be a contributing factor. I started seeing a psychologist twice a month and he has helped me deal with anxiety, but it recently flared up. Stomach cramps, indigestion, GERD, and yellowish stool. The internet tells me I have pancreatic cancer. I try to avoid rushing to the doctor every time this happens but do plan on seeing my primary care this week. Perhaps he can order enough tests to rule those out. Without seeing a psychologist this would be far worse. Before seeing him my blood pressure would be about 140/99, but now I'm around 120/80 where I should be.

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    • Posted

      I am the very same I have a lot of discomfort by my left rib I have IBS but I had a ct scan done three years ago and was told I had chronic pancreatitis but had an EUS and was told it was clear that I had mild atrophy I a so worried as to why I feel like I have gas mild heartburn and gurgling I can't sleep over it and can't eat to much with the anxiety over it I feel your concerns

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  • Posted

    I'm so happy I've found this I've had anxiety for years but I've only just realised it's health anxiety I have,the past year it's got really bad I have twitching in my legs from it and last month found what I thought was a lump in my breast but docs found nothing but as you all know you never truely believe them.im mentally drained from every waking hour thinking I have cancer unlike most of you I don't look online I bypass ever thing possible that mentions cancer I can't even bring myself to say it.

    Doctors have put me on propranolol but god knows if there helping but even taking them puts me into a panic of are they safe.most days I walk around in a daze with 2 boys that's not what I need.has anyone been given any medication that has helped as I feel "talking about it" to a medical professional won't help I only see haveing a full mri scan would help me finally relax a little thanks for your time everyone xx

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  • Posted

    Hello everyone. I am so happy to have found this thread. I want to first say I am sorry for all of you who are suffering through these anxieties, and I hope finding others who are handling these issues are helping you to feel better. I have suffered since I was about 12 from a phobia of vomiting and over the last few decades I have also developed a fear of cancer. The thing is, the cancer always seemed so far removed from me so I was able to keep the fear at bay. About a month ago I found some lumps in my breast during my monthly breast exam. I went to the doctor and she agreed and said she thought they were cysts but sent me for a mammogram and ultrasound. WIthin a week I had those appointments. The mammogram found nothing and the ultrasound found a benign growth that I have since learned is very common. That week was one of the worst of my life. I lost 5 pounds because I couldn't eat. I was so worried I was going to die, and I kept envisioning being on my death bed and my 10 year old daughter suffering through life without me. I thought I would just feel so elated after hearing nothing was wrong, but I never quite felt amazing. I managed to move on and was doing ok until I had another period. I guess these cysts are going to be a problem each time I have a period, but it just began a tail spin for me. I am now convinced I have lymphoma because I have pain in my underarms. I went back to the doctor and she did an exam and couldn't find anything wrong with my lymph nodes. Again, I should be thrilled, but I am just as big a mess as I was before. I am not eating again and I am only sleeping because the doctor gave me klonipin to help with the panic attacks. I am going to see a therapist Monday morning, but I just needed to reach out and find some people who are dealing with the same thing as I am. I don't want to run to the doctor every time I think something is wrong. I want to get back to enjoying life and not being afraid of every little pain in my body. 

    What have you all found that has helped you move past the fixation on your body and what is possibly wrong with you? I am no longer going to allow myself to google symptoms because they always tell me I have cancer. Nothing feels that awful. I wouldn't wish this type of fear on my worst enemy. I just want to be happy again and not live in fear everyday. Thank you to any who have read this post. I wish you all the best.

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    • Posted

      First of all I am sorry that your going through this. Only those can understand who r going through this horrible Anxieties. I am on the same boat. I got 9 year old daughter each day I pray that I live up to see her get 16 so she can look after herself. My friends r sick of me and my gp are not even bother anymore. I feel I am going crazy I have started to believe I am dying of this C word I hate Google search (sorry to say that) it's an addiction it's destroying our lives. I am suffering from this for last 14 years and my medical notes r like 100 years old woman I have seen every kind of doctor.

      I feel your pain I pray you find peace and everyone who are suffering from this.

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  • Posted

    Hi all, so glad I've found this thread

    I've had Eustachian tube dysfunction since Christmas, it's now end of April. I had to wait 3 months for an ent appointment. During this time I had numerous trips to the gp and had time off work. I had cbt to help with the health anxiety. After the ent dr has told me it's caused by rhinitis I started to feel better, however I said to my gp I only feel better because I've been reassured it's not cancer, the health anxiety is still there.

    Low and behold I seem to have found myself something else to worry about. My left breast is a bit twingy, with some very mild pain in some positions. You've guessed it.....I've obviously got breast cancer! I've prodded and checked numerous times every day (which is probably making it sore!) googled, starting asking my husband if there is any difference. All the things I learnt in cbt and I've started doing all the bad learnt behaviours. We have a form of OCD. And like some of you said, you worry in case it's not caught early. My mum is in the recovery stages of stage 4 uterine cancer, which made my anxiety worse.

    I thought I was unique and the only person doing all this but it seems like we've all had some trauma that's triggered or exacerbated it, and we have similar behaviours.

    I've nothing to add, only that I'm trying my hardest to stop examining myself constantly

    Catherine

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    • Posted

      It's so draining isn't it 😞For me I have times when yes it's there in my head but I'm not "too" bad and I can feel myself for once but doesn't take long for the fuzzy spaced out fog to re appear.

      I've come off my meditation to see if I can battle against it with running Im struggling to convince myself that my pulled muscles are only from my running and not anything life threatening.but actually haveing a physical pain from something I know full well is real and NOT life threatening helps to keep my mind off any "made up diagnoses"(if that makes sense)

      Plus I've found out that it gets worse on the run up to my period so I'm going to go and see doctors about my hormones and see if there's anything that can help along them lines maybe 🤷🏼???,My partner always says to me "look if you ever find out you had something there's nothing that's going to prevent that from happening,but it's good you've found it early and not ignored it,what more can you do?"

      When kids are involved well that's another mental ball game where I can't bare to think about but then nether can anyone with kids,but we just can't seem to cope with that thought as well as others 😕,I truly hope you find some way out of this mental torture and many others aswell,let's live life be happy and crack this 💪🏼

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