Health anxiety ruining my life looking for advice/help can't cope

Hello lovely!

Atleast your being referred, here's me suffering and telling you your probably worrying over nothing I know it's better said especially somebody who else is suffering!

I had to get out the house yesterday. I just couldn't stay in, I went to see my sister and friend and did a bit of shopping and took Bradley to the park but when I got home and into bed, it was back! I got major stomach cramps and told terry (my partner) to get me the bucket and I was sick first time that's ever happened I felt awful!

So today iv phoned the doctor and he's supposed to be phoning me back I want to ask him about the referral for further bloods he sent me for which I still haven't made an appointment. I don't drive so don't really want to be taking my little boy on a half an hour bus journey to my local hospital if I can help it and just go to my local doctors who does bloods instead! Fingers crossed I can?

So no, still no bloods taken as I want to find this out first! Such a long process

Yes I feel like I'm hassling him. I hate it but it's their job and they have it reassure us and help us xx

Hello nicola im the same i have always had a fear of cancer..but in last 8 months i lost 3 close family members to cancer one min fine next they got couple weeks to live so of course now my annixety as gone out of control ive convinced my self i got neck tumour and breast cancer anything worring i think ive got i google it which i think in my state of mind is the worst thing to do.. my husband thinks im mad i have 2 kids and i panic im not gonna be round to watch them grow up this aniexty is growing out of control..i found a bone feelin ball shape in back of my neck and i convinced my self it was cancer drove my family mad they all said its normal but i always never believe anyone i feel there saying it to shut me up. Got pain in left side my boob and i convinced again it cancer..so you defo aint the only one i just glad found this forum cause cant talk to anyone x

hi i also suffer the same started off only get paniced everynow and then but im constantly panicking and its tht ive got a lump or pain in my right breast i have 3 kids to im pulling myself about so bad now that i either make my breast hurt and red or bruising it im constantly asking family n friends to feel but my problem is i wont go to doctors in case they find something or send me off for checks i do get lumps and that come up but thats when im due on my period then they go then i have the same thing over n over i  should go and brave it but cant bring myself to do it to scared

I think these are all physical symptoms of anxiety. 

I think this has been caused by something else but that is just my opinion. Have you ever had a bad period in your life and also been ill? Or a death and you were ill at the time?

I had mental health anxiety because I was going through a breakup with an abuisve partner and at the same time, my best friend had a nervous breakdown. 

So because I was vulnerable at the time, I started to worry that I too could have a breakdown or have a mental health problem (that wasnt anxiety)

You are not mad. 

Get the other breast checked, then ban yourself from Google and seek some talking therapy. You are going to be fine x 

Hi Nicola I'm going through the exact same you have been and I'm only 17 years old.. Its been going on now for about 6 months and it's driving me crazy it's taken over my life and I really don't know how to cope with it I've been told over and over again that I'm fine by hospital and by my doctor but for some reason I just can't get my head around it and I wish I could but I can't, I've been told it's all hormonal and it's cus of the contraceptive I'm on and all that also I have anemia too so that's what all my symptoms are but I keep thinking myself that I have cancer or there's a brain tumour or something more serious wrong with me and I even insisted on having a brain scan and my doctor told me she wouldn't even dream of sending me for one of them cus she knows herself that I just have Health anxiety and I'm bringing it all on myself by constantly googling symptoms thinking I'm having a brain aneurysm or something so so so uncommon like that and I just can't get my head around it.. Please if you have any advice or anyone in this chat could help me please do xx

Hi Nicola I'm going through the exact same you have been and I'm only 17 years old.. Its been going on now for about 6 months and it's driving me crazy it's taken over my life and I really don't know how to cope with it I've been told over and over again that I'm fine by hospital and by my doctor but for some reason I just can't get my head around it and I wish I could but I can't, I've been told it's all hormonal and it's cus of the contraceptive I'm on and all that also I have anemia too so that's what all my symptoms are but I keep thinking myself that I have cancer or there's a brain tumour or something more serious wrong with me and I even insisted on having a brain scan and my doctor told me she wouldn't even dream of sending me for one of them cus she knows herself that I just have Health anxiety and I'm bringing it all on myself by constantly googling symptoms thinking I'm having a brain aneurysm or something so so so uncommon like that and I just can't get my head around it.. Please if you have any advice or anyone in this chat could help me please do xx

I can totally relate to you! My healthy anxiety started right after my grandfather past away about 7 weeks ago. I suddeny had heart palpitations and an overwhelming feeling of doom. I went to various ERs and they said my heart rate was up but my blood work and everything was fine, I still wasn't convinced... I went to my GP who then put me to a Electrophyslolgist that specialises in heart rhythms I had a ultrasound done, holter monitor, and the finally said nothing was wrong I just have sinus tachycardia which is caused by extreme anxiety. I then noticed a few weird things on my skin after analysing every detail or sensation on my body ... I went to the dermatologist and got two skin biopsies one actually was cancerous which was called basal cell the most common and very treatable. Again, I was then convinced he missed soemthing and have booked into another skin clinic to get a second opinion. I then at work last week noticed my left breast was very sore and I automatically thought I had breast cancer I immediately went to the OBGYN who felt it and said she never felt anything it's jus tissue from hormones. I had a follow up appointment with my GP on everything and she mentioned to get the flu shot. I have had this before many times when I never had health anxiety with no problems. I got my flu shot that morning then went back to work,.. A few people said the flu shot isn't good for u and I automatically thought the worse! I Googled side effects from vaccine and came up with lots of stories and lists of things. The next day after flu shot I had a extreme headache and I auto attic ally thought this was a reaction to the flu shot and then read up about a side effect called GBS syndrome which Is very rare 1-2 people per 1 million flu shots, the symtpons are tingling on legs and arms I automatically started to have these symtpons after reading into this extensively. I ended up in ER last night and told him of my tingling in body and he said its no way u have GBSand if. I did think that I would make u get a Lumbar Puncture which they get spinal fluid from back, I am still not convinced ! I woke up today with a headache and tingling sensations, anxiety is ruining my life at the moment between work and my relationship with my husband ! I am going to book into a Neuroligist this week to see about my headaches and tingling. Does anyone else relate to this ? After reading a disease you starter to think u have it and ur mind makes u have sensations similar ? Please help !!! 

Hi nicola i have suffred this for 9 years since my dad died and i was told that usually sudden death like that can trigger health anxiety .. i have got that bad through the years that it has now passed on to my loved ones ie husband&kids so when there is anything wrong with Then i straight away think the worst its not nice atall xx

Hi there,

 I'm hoping I can join your thread as I also suffer terribly with health anxiety.  I have one child and am due in 4 weeks with our second - and I'm absolutely terrified.  My anxiety is definitely notching up the closer I get to D-Day.  I'm lucky to have a very supportive husband, family, friends etc but none of them truly understand the anguish health anxiety causes.  Reading your posts, I identify with everything you're saying and wanted to say hi! 

Hope you have been able to enjoy an anxiety-free Xmas all.

JF x 

Hi Nicola and everyone else,

Reading this discussion I have an incredible sense of deja vu! I have been suffering very badly with health anxiety for 3 months and it has nearly ruined my life.

It all started with dizziness, heart palpitations/ectopic beats, then panic attacks, chest pain, chest compression, tingling in arms and legs, weird sensations in my head, severe head pains, migraines, feelings of unreality, nausea, eye twitches, hot flushes, shaky legs. You name it, I've had it.

I have been to A&E on a number of occasions, had 6 ECGs, one 24 hour ECG, an MRI and about a million trips to my doctor. I have been constantly fearful of something wrong with my heart and gave up most of the exercise I enjoy in case of causing myself damage. I have avoided going anywhere that is too far from safety (i.e. a hospital, doctor's surgery or my family) and have had to reduce my hours at work to cope. It has been devastating and I am so lucky that I have wonderful family and an incredible boyfriend to support me and listen to my moments of utter madness.

I had begun to get better recently. I was meditating, taking it easy, trying not to react to the weird sensations of electric shocks I get in my chest or the even scarier ectopic beats. So imagine my surprise when my (routine!) MRI came back with unexpected findings.

It turns out I have a cyst in my brain and a neruological condition alongside it which causes my brain to herniate slightly out of my skull. Sat in that octor;s surgery, the bottom fell out of my world. This would happen to anyone confronted with the words 'cyst' and 'herniation' in an MRI report, but for a health anxiety sufferer that is it. You knew something was wrong. You were right. You're going to die.

Fortunately my GP was amazing and got through to my neurologist as soon as possible. He confirmed that my type of cyst is benign and the herniation is insignificant. I can remember the relief washing over me. My most trusted people of late, the infallible medical professional, told me I was fine.

Thirty minutes later, back at home, I was obsessively googling the findings. This made everything a million times worse. Not being a neurologist or neurosurgeon I have no understanding of the complexities of the brain and all the possible things that can go wrong. Or, indeed, all the things that can be fine if well left alone. All I saw in the reports were the cases of people who had suffered aneurysms as a result of the cyst, people whose cysts had grown to three times their size in less than a year, those disabled by tonsillar herniation misdiagnosed for too long, and the one article on the Daily Mirror website which convinced me for 5 days that any fast movement of my neck or head would cause my brain to slip onto my spinal cord.

But, as google is the great deceiver, it can also be the harbinger of knowledge. Deep down I knew that I wasn't helping myself at all. I was constantly panicked, constantly stiff from lack of movement and constantly on the verge of tears. So I sarted to educate myself. I read scientific papers, I explored only those sites which were set up by national brain and spine foundations to share information, and I am doing my best to avoid scaremongering message boards and worst case scenarios like the plague.

It is not easy, though. I am unlucky in that my cyst and my malformation are quite rare (particularly the location of my cyst in the cerebellopontine angle of my brain) and they symptoms are not clear cut. Indeed people have reported anxiety arising from both conditions. Thus I am faced with the possibility that my symptoms are not in fact the creation of my health anxiety, but that the whole horrible experience is a result of the brain abnormalities.

That's when my doctor's voice rings in my ears: "The thing is, when you start looking for something, you never know what you might find. Maybe something that has been there forever and caused no problems until you knew of it."

And that is the real curse of health-related anxiety. You search and search and search, you are so suggestible and easily convinced that symptoms start to pop up with ease. Can't it really be just coincidence that headaches in the bottom right of my skull (the location of my cyst) and constant feeling of pressure build up in my skull throughout the day (a common symptom of tonsillar herniation) began just 2 days after my MRI results came back? I suspect not, but I only suspect that now, in a moment of clarity. these are few and far between these days. I spend most of my waking moments distraught, distracted and terribly fearful of the future. The other day my cousin, who has suffered with health and other forms of anxiety for 7 years, pointed out that a normal non-axious person would be just as worried as I am to have MRI results like these. hey would worry about the future, the symptoms, the potential surgery, the mpact on their lives and those of their families, but would they spend every available waking moment obsessively googling the outcomes of craniotomies and neural endoscopies? Of course not. They would get on with their lives in the meantime and try to distract themselves with work and joyous times with friends before seeing a specialist whom they would trust.

I on the other hand wake up afraid. I spend the morning trying to bring down my anxiety levels with meditation (I have almost completely left behind the exercise regime that I so enjoyed in the past for fear of further brain herniation). eventually I go to work, battling chest pains and pressure all the way there and imagining all the outcomes of a seizure or heart attack while driving (after all, my cyst lies close to my brainstem, which controls cardiac and respiratory function).Once at work I attempt a brave face. I am kind and helpful and smile at everyone. But inwardly I am monitoring every pain, every change in sensation in my head, every unusual muscle movement or sensory development and comparing with the stories I have read online. If I am unlucky enough to have head pressure or an ectopic that day I spend the following hour or more planning how I will get to the emergency room and ensuring my MRI results are close by for the paramedics to read when I collapse. I do hardly any work as the day is full with constant googling, constant reading, comparing neurosurgeons, looking for specialists, obsessively reading every possible FAQ for Chiari and cyst upport groups. This is the true cost of health anxiety. It steals your inner peace and pulls you so far away from the world, from rationality, from your friends and family, you feel as though you're standing in a tunnel watching everyone as though they exist on another planet. How can they tell you to remain calm when you could die at any moment? How can they change the subject to the birth of your cousin's baby, or the weather, or what to have for dinner, when you are mentally planning what to say to them as you lay dying, critically ill in a hospital somewhere. 

I'm not sure I really have any advice because my own life is being torn apart by this mental distress. So seek help. Real help. Do not rely on google to answer your questions, it only raises infinitely more complex issues and more terrifying possibilities for that unexplained pain in your chest, or the weird sensation in the legs when you wake up in the morning. Whether you need talking therapy or medication or just less stress (or a cobination of any and all of these), do it now. Time is so precious, after all.

Wishing you all well on your journeys and sending any strength I can muster to you all. Sorry for the length of this, but sometimes you just need to tell your story.

Hi nicola, sorry to hear about the anxiety you have. I've done the same in searching the Internet for answers to symptoms. I can tell you that all roads lead to cancer when you search. It's awful and so silly when we think of it. Stress and anxiety often make our symptoms worse. What helps me is prayer and listening to messages about fear. That's your real problem is learning to deal with fear. Your going with the feeling of fear rather than reality or logic. Google "Joyce Meyer on fear" she's a great speaker. Thank God your results were good, that you have a loving family, and access to doctors. Let go of fear and enjoy those blessings.