Health anxiety taking over my life....please help!!

Posted , 6 users are following.

I have been suffering from health anxiety now since having my first daughter 6 years ago. It got so bad I become agoraphobic and suffered terrible panic attacks. I really thought after having CBT therapy and years of feeling better I had finally over come this. I had my second daughter a year ago and 4 months ago it's suddenly come back out of the blue. I feel the worst I have ever felt.

It started with a pain in my right breast. I was and still am convinced something is wrong. My GP reassured me on two occasions that all was ok but I was not convinced. She referred me to the breast clinic where I saw a consultant and had a breast ultrasound. All came back fine but here I am still convinced they have missed something and constantly googling every slight twinge that I have.

What is wrong with me? Somedays I just sit and cry and just long to be a normal person. I watch people walking down the street and just wished I could be normal like them. I would love to just wake up without having the black cloud above my head or just somebody to say it's going to be ok?!

I was just wondering really if anybody else out there has ever constantly worried even though being told they are ok? I'm thinking about paying for a second ultrasound but would that really help? My husband doesn't understand. He tries to comfort my crying but how can he when he doesn't know what's really wrong.

Really appreciate any advice!!

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    Hey Sallyann,

    I suffer from (largely) health anxiety and low mood disorder, from constant feelings of allergic reaction when I eat to heart pains and palpatations and panic attacks. All of these symptoms feel incredibly real, and are very, very frightening.  I have a few words of advice for you.

    Firstly you have to stop googling illness, I did this for a long time and it makes everything much, much worse. The more types of illness you know about the more illness you will diagnose yourself with.

    Instead, do research into health anxiety disorder, and learn to understand better the impact that might be having on your brain and body. For me, understand what was happening in my body whilst having a panic attack has allowed me to understand and control it.

    Thirdly, try and arrange with your GP to go through some CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). For me this was a revelation, learning how to control (to some extent) the symptoms and learning how to manage anxiety within my life.

    If your anxiety is taking over and causing depression, also speak to your GP who will be able to perhaps perscribe you an anti-depressant (most of which are also used to treat anxiety disorders).

    Aside from that just know you are not alone, and there is nothing abnormal about the way your feeling, many of us feel the same way smile

    hope this was helpful

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    • Posted

      Thankyou so much for your kind words and encouragement.

      I am going to see my gp again tomorrow so I think I will mention about seeing somebody for CBT.

      Your right it feels so very very real. I honestly think I am going out my mind. Google has become a nightmare. I have convinced myself of all sorts. I will however look more into health anxiety and educate myself better as if I'm honest I don't know a lot about it.

      Thankyou again.

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  • Posted

    Hi. I suffer from health anxiety too and like you. I always think the worse i had a mri on my back was convinced i had ms, i coughed up blood due to a blood vessel breaking and thought i had lung cancer i had an x ray and that was clear but convinced myself they had missed something., i think i have every symptom going. Mine as only become worse since i had a miscarriage last year which resulted in me needing an emergency operation. I am doing CBT at the minute and i try and get out rather than sitting in all the time as i have found it makes me worse. Im getting there slowly and try and take each day as it comes. You are strong and you can do it!xx
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    • Posted

      Aww thankyou and I really hope that it's going to be a positive way forward for you too.

      I am trying to get out more and try and take baby to groups it's just I can't seem to have a conversation properly either. It's like my mind is constantly focused on me being poorly or something being wrong.

      I am trying to take each day as it comes I just wished it was brighter but fingers crossed I can do this!!!

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    • Posted

      It is hard. I have two children and focused so much on something being wrong with me or looking for a new symptom. My children havent had my attention. Its hard having a conversation when all you want to do is concentrate on your illness. I too suffer from bad panic attacks they have settled a bit and i can control them better with the medication i am on. You will get there. I can now see a light at the end but i know its going to take time.x
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  • Posted

    Hey Sally

    I'm exactly same as you I get chest pain and think I'm having a heart attack or Iv got breast cancer, Iv had every illness going, I'm constantly asking my partner if something was wrong with me they would have found it in the tests they did, this all started for me after I had my daughter nearly 6 months ago x

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    • Posted

      It's like you need constant re-assurance about things isn't it?

      Whether is could be post natal going on I'm not sure but if I'm honest u have had this for some time it's just this time it's getting out of control.

      If I could sit and cry the whole day I would. Has yours eased any Kirsty? Have you found anything which helps?

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    • Posted

      Yeah it is im constantly worrying everyday now that I have something seriously wrong with me, I did get better and im on medication but feel Iv got backwards again, Iv had so many tests and bloods done all come back normal, I'm constantly checking my breast for lumps and convinced myself Iv got cancer, I'm only 25 just fed up of feeling this way, x
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  • Posted

    After witnessing my mother have a stroke some years ago i had become overly anxious about every twinge and throb in my body and eventually ended up unable to go out alone or do every day tasks. I had some therapy and am now on medication and sometimes i see signs creeping back in that its going backwards, but i act fast to tackle the problem as i never want to go back to that dark place, but i have told myself that if i do i know it is only temporary until i come out of it again so i try to enjoy the good periods as much as i can. I would say that the second baby and all the emotions that go with that may have triggered your anxiety after a long spell of recovery, but it can be sorted and you should talk with your doctor
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  • Posted

    Hi, i think you have just decribed my life, my girl is also nearly 6 and thats when mine started and i have a 17 month old girl aswel. I have anxiety, depression, o.c.d, eating disorder and agrophobia 😢
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  • Posted

    Thankyou all for replying. It's good to know that we are not alone and in some way we have each other and know we are not on our own.

    Somedays are better than others. I'm the same constantly checking my breasts in a way to reassure my self but at the same time I am making myself worse. I can't seem to enjoy anything as it is always there in my mind. I will talk to my gp I think about medication as I can't see myself beating it alone this time. I would start to panic about medication though that's the problem.

    It was my daughters first birthday last week and my sister thinks that something's not right. I can never sit still and I'm always doing something. It's like I have to to try and push away these thoughts of mine.

    I just feel such a mess. My husband thinks I'm stupid wanting a second opinion so soon. One thing I do know is though that google is making me worse. Everything that comes up is breast cancer!!!

    Just can't thankyou all enough for listening to me and not telling me I need to get a grip!!!

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    • Posted

      Yeah I make myself worse cos I think Iv felt something but it's all in my head, i suffer from stabbing pains on the left side Iv had so many tests and all are normal, yeah try going to your gp and tell them how your feeling, I'm no way as bad as I was but still have bad days but the good way out the bad, don't Google as it comes up with the worst hun x
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